It happened while listening to a song
An old song i used to hear when
She was around
It happened while somewhere far
Away
The purple blossoms began to die and fall from the tree
And somewhere further she lied next
To another man
Feeling that same howling loneliness
She felt with me
That old song put me right back into
That dim room
Lying next to her
Feeling full
Full of love fear joy and
That underlying loneliness
I am always running  from
I listened to the song and began to
Tear up
I haven't cried in two years
I haven't cried because I haven't
Loved since then
I tried to shake it off and
Focus on the boxing match I was
Watching
But that ******* song kept
******* me back into that dim room
We used to lay around lifeless,jobless,
Starving
Eating a box of Bisquick and each other's souls all day and night
I thought I was missing her
But no, it wasn't that
It was never really love
We were just two wounded spiders
Trying to devour one another
I missed feeling full.
I missed the days without this
Immense burning
I missed the days without death die
Destroy
I missed living *******
The song ended
The  tears never fell
But I came pretty ****** close
Then I felt that ugly humongous
Mountain
Crawl off my chest
I felt the drowning rats climb out of my gut
I walked outside
And watched the purple blossoms
Die from the tree
And the air tasted sweet
And my body felt light
The war is over. The war is over.
My god. I hope my war is over.