Thirteen to four: Losing score.
We were going to take the world by storm.
She was an angel living in hell -
How high she took me, how far I fell.

I have to blame someone, otherwise it's all my fault.

Everybody lies - no exceptions,
Everybody talks behind your back,
Everybody leaves you in the end with your foot in the trap.

Life may be strange, but life's unfair,
And I can't even breathe through the smoke in the air.
To many "Oh wells", not enough care.

Just take me through,
Take me with you,
To the darkest depths of a black circle on my wall.

Don't leave me here,
Surrounded by fear,
All I can do is draw one more black circle on my wall:
One more lie.

Let's go back in time.

Sometimes smiles come for no reason,
Sometimes tears fall and you don't know why,
Sometimes truth pours out too early,
Sometimes patience deserts for too long.

Somewhere mistakes that were made did not linger,
Somewhere decisions were taken with more care,
Somewhere honesty was taken in measure,
Somewhere thoughts calmed the beating of hearts.

Somehow nothing ever seems to matter,
Somehow losing never seems to hurt,
Somehow knowing it's hopeless is a reason,
To keep going.

So I become the air: constant but turbulent at times,
And I keep wings from falling limp to the ground,
Eagles can't fly forever,
But the air will not let them down.

Lonely in a sea of faces,
Lost when my path is clear,
Afraid of empty shadows,
Alive when no-one's here.

Broken by that which made me,
Brave when I've no belief,
Open when all doors are closed,
Obsessed with my relief.

Defeat knows only victory,
Life is all for death,
Battles are made to be lost,
But still I fight for every breath

Humming along to tranquility,
Its rhythms sending me to sleep,
Memories of a slower time,
A darker time tinged with love,
A softer time tinged with loss,
Seen now through misty glass,
Not quite as it was,
As it appeared or...
How it might have been

"I have information for you..."

The voice is clear,
Yet its meaning is not,
What does it know?
What can it tell me?

"..but I cannot give it to you..."

Of course,
An informer who will not inform,
But this is no war,
No obligation.

"...neither must know..."

Some unspoken law,
Governs its words,
Keeps it silent - or at least,
Silent enough.

"...my words would change things - things that must not.
Find out on your own, it is the only way."

Catching currents in the dark,
My vision focused only on that eye,
Within, I see she knows.

Her wings barely move,
Yet constantly I turn,
Which way?
The direction seems so meaningless,
Yet I see she knows.

So why?
Where does she take me?
How far and for what purpose?
So many questions:
As constant as the air rushing past my face,
But still no answers,
None but the pull of that eye,
Through which, she knows.

Beauty disturbed by foolish youth,
Who think themselves greater than their world,
Who disregard nature's ambiance,
For music made cheaply and sold high,
Now they leave, and life returns,
The thrill, excitement of stillness,
When so little contents to silence,
Simple quiet holds the beauty.

What could be a jewel, rolling on the water,
Gliding on the surface,
Unobstructed, no rock nor branch interferes,
No ripple adjusts its path.

The jewel is an orb,
At one with the silk of a soft stream.
It glistens, drifting in no hurry,
Calmly downstream, round a bend, behind the bank.
Gone.

How to describe the way the sun filters through leaves?
How it ripples like waves,
Like a dance of shades of green,
The patches of dark and light seep onto the
Cream-coloured page of this notebook,
And a perfect negative of sprawling branches,
Rests upon these words.

They scurry across a slender branch,
Dripping under their weight,
But only for a second,
For they are nimble,
And soon another branch stages their chase.

Their claws scratch at bark,
Frantic as they descend to the bank,
Muffled by the earth as two grey tails
disappear into the undergrowth,
And all that remains:
The simmering summer breeze.

Quiet lines define her face,
Soft edges - the limits of beauty.
Within those boundaries,
A whisper of perfection,
A hushed light.

Yet beyond her features,
She is strong,
A simple straightforward confidence,
Unquestionable, firm,
Yet somehow soft.

I tried, once again, to forget her,
To ignore the buzz in my chest,
To put her aside and walk alone,
But our paths cross again and again,
And I am no longer able to resist.

We bicker and tease,
And we've learnt where the line lies,
And how to cross it.
But somehow, we grew closer,
By falling apart.

Her smile, her laugh,
Pure joy melting across her lips,
My ears will never know,
My eyes will never see,
Brighter.

Unless our hands fit together,
And my smile joins hers

A glint on a car window makes me squint my eyes,
Those sharp spikes of light make my pupils hide,
Retreating from the brightness, to the inside they know,
My sight's afraid of summer, but my mind is aglow.

The days are long at last, the evenings pink and red,
The clouds, as if from cartoons, float above my head,
The vibrant flowers are shining - radiant as the sun,
And I am calm, I can breathe slowly, the gentlest season is begun.

In a double life, a double cross
is standard procedure.
Betrayal and no foresight
are expected, feared, ignored,
no second thought.

All I said before considered,
feelings mutilated -
pointless to even pause.
Haste over care or kindness,
Speed the only cause.

Where is truth?
Between one claim or another?