I am not able to cross out
My calendar in the wall anymore
It's been days turned into weeks
I am lost on what date today is
But I prefer no one would tell me
Do not visit my home
I am busy doing nothing and
I don't want to be bothered
I do not know the answer to your
"How are you?" so please
Do not ask that
I am also not asking for advice
Do not tell me what to do,
It just annoys me
My laments are getting scarier each night
I couldn't put into words and can't help it
So I become grumpy and irritated
I wasn't able to take a bathe and I feel, smell and look like a real mess
I am sorry.
I hate to live like this.
I sleep a lot but my body aches
I tend to overeat or to starve
One minute I'm laughing, the next thing is I'm crying
Creepy because there's no trend
Label me crazy but never pity
I don't need sympathy from the same world that cursed me
My flesh was bleeding, but now I'm just waiting for it to scar
I hope it goes like that in my life too.
I hate this, double as I hate myself...

i hope that when i wrote you a poem
you'll read it
it's not about you
not totally describing you
or what you did to me
or how we used to be
it is not a mere poem
it is my heart poured into letters
--my soul's message for you
so whenever i write poems for you,
I hope you read it.

How many dives
Into the memory lane
Should I take
Just to finally
Fall asleep. 🙃

Why do you have to leave
Can't you hear my tears echoing,
Bursting when the moon is full
I do not want to be alone
In a cold, dark, scary place
You gave me light
In the morning but
I need it at midnights
In the woods
Sorry.
I am just childish
Because it frightens me
It is killing my soul

Thinking of something poetic,
All I'd think about is you..
You are my poetry.

today feels like yesterday
and tomorrow's just another day
can someone tell the difference?
only time runs but not with my agony
it never runs out
still waiting for the death of darkness
but still i love the night
when someone walks in through
my strong great walls,
they break
when will be my daybreak
i want to finally learn to love light
because it seems to love me
then realized it was not about any other entity
its just me and my sadness
it never got any better,
somehow thankful to the lies
because it keep my dreams living
so whenever you see me smile
maybe i just get used to it
and yeah.
the saddest poem i'll ever write
is never really written in these words
the saddest poem i'll ever write
is the hollowed part engraved in my heart

I will gently strum your chords in the key of G
and sing the lyrics of my heart to thee
if you promise to listen very carefully,
so do I will play our music eternally.

Not all lost were found
some are forgotten

she is nothing but a coward cry baby
for those who never witnessed her bravery
she is nothing but a burden
for those who do not pay attention to her soul
she is nothing but an anxious, ill woman
for those who has no intentions of knowing why
but she will continue to blossom
for those who believe that she is always worthy
she will continue to add some array of light
for those who hoped for her when she was hopeless
she will continue to believe that joy is real
for those who never leave her side when she was grieving
and she will continue to be a soothing kind of blessing
for those who prayed to receive a blessing like her

I want to be that text message
That you would read all over again
Because it gives you sweet shivers

My lucifer is lonely

If you wanna leave, then leave
But don't take my shattered heart with you

oh! where did I go
slamming the door of regression
taking a step forth progression
I'd dive into the sense of thousand fears
knowing that it was a million tears
would go anyway
that's the only way
the road that's breaking
is the path I'm taking
my legs are now tired
but my will was fired
.... like the gun
no, not fun
it was an unending maze
of nowhere but craze
don't worry, I'll take care
all they would do is stare
as I was running
but realized, I'm not moving

I don't know if this is wrong but
It never felt this right before
I don't know what to do
I'd never been this way before
I somehow want to fight for it
But will you join me in the battle?
I don't know
I'd never told you before.

Liquids of sadness
Falls from her eyes
Just too many why's
She did lived in lies.
This world is a liar

i have learned to be wary
of my own smile, of my own happiness
because it costs a lot...
of tears, disappointments, pain
it is very expensive and i fear that
maybe one day, big amount of credits
are ready to swallow me in
i don't want that.
and for a second thought, is happiness
still a choice? or something we always
try to bargain with?

memories are just psychological images
that our prosaic minds replay without consent
once or twice will be marked as nonchalant
but for hundred times it's difficult
it is not a mere memory anymore,
but a virtual, psychological world
you are living the same history everyday
bittersweet, in a dungeon of illusory reverie

as my day is drawing near
all I wanted is to be one
with the air you breathe
be one with the summer skies
that everyone loves to see
and be one with the ocean,
the surface level that shimmers
in the sunset
-- soothing and calming

i don't want to be one with my storms anymore
in which you shivers and curse
if all I was emitting is a loud, frightening thunder
i don't want to be heard anymore

if remembering me would bring pain and bitterness,
i don't want to be remembered anymore

i would rather be unheard and forgotten


forever.

I'm tired of you
I'm tired of receiving so much dramas
I'm tired of listening to your rants
I'm tired of watching your silly moves
I'm tired of your weird personality
I'm tired of understanding your logic
I'm tired of your boring life
I'm tired of your childishness
I'm tired of how you talk
I'm tired of seeing you laugh loud
I'm tired of seeing you frown
I'm tired of seeing you cry
I'm tired of how you look
I'm tired of you.
I'm just really tired of everything about you
I'm used through it.
All I ever want to do now is to love it.
All I ever want to do now and forever is to love you.

devour me 'o daredevil




                             I'll be the danger that you want




                                                        if you promise to **** me afterwards

I grieve on an empty grave where I should be
Til I'm drowning in tears, vulnerable and free
There are no monsters under my bed,
They are resting easy inside my head
That's why it's always heavy, as the skies are always stormy

Do not get drowned with me,
Even if I am reaching for your hands.
No, don't go.

Watch me burn
Touch me not
Hear me scream
Say nothing
Collapsed and distressed,
Stay on point
This room so crowded
No place for pity
Watch me burn
With smile a lot
Hear me scream
Say a laugh
Collapsed and distressed,
You stayed on point.
You killed me twice.

What a satisfaction it brings
When people are left off wondering
Search me until you are lost
I'm always close to nothing
Thought I was near but lightyears away
No one will ever know
The universe clothe my soul with galaxies
Which part of me do you love
Have you met me in all my dimensions
No one will ever know
I'm the kind of paranoia that bothers thy peace
Impulses are destructive so it did to me
I was buried in ocean deep of secrecy
A masterpiece of mystery.

When fear creeps into our land
Know that God is always our great Helping Hand
No matter the disease and number of deaths
In God's mercy, we find peace and rest
If you feel like hope is fading away
Stay with your family at home and pray
Do not ever underestimate
The power of prayers and faith

the poetess runs out of her words
how can feelings be translated?





/let her hug you from body to the soul.

if your hands are cold
let me warm it
if your eyes are teary
let me wipe it
if your body is shaking
let me comfort you
if the world haunts your dreams
let me shelter it
if fears are taking you
let me take it away
if you are worrying
let me be your assurance
if regrets are haunting you
let me say it's okay
if you are having low self-esteem
let me be your cheerleader
if you're lost
let me walk you home
if sadness consumes you
let me be your happy pill
if you think you're not enough
let me hug you
as I utter words of beauty
and significance because that...
is your worth
and please let me prove it.

She is a catastrophe
of mixed tornadoes and thunders
She's always seen as destruction
in the eyes of the near-sighted
But over the massive fogs of doubts and distrust,
after the tranquility of her strong winds,
There is calmness in vibrant paradise of her love
And even it requires a long time and bravery to reach for her soul,
Do not stop.
I hope you'll travel a little farther against all of her odds
In the end, you will meet her again
Dressed in florals, blooming like a sunflower
Her smile is peace in a golden sunset

You have to meet her as a catastrophe
To be worthy of her beautiful love.

he's so sweet
like a forehead kiss
that he does when i'm scared
or worried or insecure about
how i look
imagine how a sugar
became everything nice and
that was him
because he's so sweet
and it feels like an epinephrine
was introduced into my bloodstream

she can write a poem
but her words can't free her
the more she hopes,
the more it hurts
the more she lives,
the more she dies
she is crying strong acid
—burning through her bones,
helpless and defeated