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669 · Sep 2014
Questions for a Christian
C S Cizek Sep 2014
Do you reject Satan?
...
Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty,
creator of heaven and earth?
**** no.

If you believe in God,
how pathetic do you feel
praying to the clouds
like there's someone above
them? What do you do when
your *prayers
aren't answered
and Mom dies of a botched surgery
at forty-eight?
Do you know what *prayers

really are? They're excuses.
AND THEY DO NOT WORK.
If your sister needs a new kidney
and you're a donor match, give
her your ******* kidney, you selfish
*****. Don't get on your *******
knees and ask a Lie in white robes
to do it. God only exists in this world
because we created him to feel better
about ourselves. We're all going
to lie down in a satin-lined coffin
and rot in the ground one day.
Don't think yours is going to have
a higher thread count than mine
just because you spent your whole
life swaddled in the Shroud of Turin.

God isn't going to save you.
No one is going to save you.
Fight me, go ahead. With how passionately ****** I get on this subject, I could write a million poems about my own experiences with the church.
666 · Jul 2014
Fixed Storage
C S Cizek Jul 2014
I’m whittling down my track list
to keep my iPod’s song count
from reaching 1,000. Rare Beatles
tracks, a famous Lennon interview,
less-than-great Punk Goes Pop
covers, and some jams I haven’t
played since 2005. Complete albums
are now only half full because some cover
art is better than the lyrics in the pages.
I'm really considering buying a used iPod Classic when I get back to college because deleting old songs is getting harder and harder.
659 · Sep 2014
Purity and Nothingness
C S Cizek Sep 2014
Bleach out the blush wine in your sundress,
bleach the walnut from your hair, bleach the coffee outline from your teeth,
bleach the gray grout in the kitchen floor, bleach the teal sky.
Everything is pure,
*everything is nothing.
White is technically an absense of color, but we're all striving for it.
C S Cizek Sep 2014
Our box fans inhale and puff smoke,
blanketing the couch like a carcinogenic throw.
The lung cushions decay beneath us.
We fall.
We dissipate on the sidewalk with one
thumb sweep of the filter.
Stashed luggage beneath bus seats.
Springs puncture the faux leather
like we're sitting on quills dipped
in bloodwells writing poetry by several
haphazard candles. Wicks crackling
with each lap of the flame four inches
from our faces momentarily relieved
of windburn by scrawny fingers desperately
flicking to keep the spark caught.
We're caught.
Caught in this couch wrapped up
in a carcinogenic throw burning.
649 · May 2014
House Fire Red
C S Cizek May 2014
Beneath
a Marlboro
hat was his faded straight
pin and rake tine hair in patches.

A carton of Light
100's glowed house fire red
in the cashier's hand.

He pulled a fifty and two tens
from his wallet then coughed
up blood into
his sleeve.
I came up with this form during my spring semester at Lycoming College. It's a mirror cinquain with a haiku between the stanzas.
635 · Apr 2014
Memories on Cassette
C S Cizek Apr 2014
My dad
taped my first steps
on VHS. I took
my hands from the table and walked
to him.

The tape aged with me.
Cheering and static
muffled my excited squeals.

I know
I’ll grip the camera one day
and film my dad folding
his hands on the
table.
Mirror cinquain with haiku between.
634 · May 2014
War Correspondence
C S Cizek May 2014
She rested her thin hands beside her keyboard
and proofread the email to her landlord.
She was adamant about getting the most
from her lease and, though wealthy,
insisted on knowing the price of everything.
Milk is almost five dollars and gas is almost milk.
Littered around her bedroom were shoeboxes
of handmade jewelry, pearls, and war correspondence,
each as fragile as a land mine. Loose soil footsteps,
shrapnel, and a Sofield soldier torn in two.
632 · Jun 2014
My Promise to a Friend
C S Cizek Jun 2014
I promised Nick I'd take him out
of Pennsylvania, away from evergreen
trees and our troubles. My car leaked carbon
monoxide, but never enough to ****
us. Where we lived, things never changed.
Two out of three stores open on Main Street,
two gas stations where people paid $3.64
a gallon just to leave, a grocery store
that never settled on a name, and a police
force with histories no cleaner
than their patrol cars. If you've taken Route 6
through, you've seen too much. We dreamt
of Lady Liberty raising her torch to the sunset
in defense of the Empire State, or simply to pluck
it like a musician playing for pennies
near Strawberry Fields from the sky.
The Big Apple, where people make art instead
of excuses and the brightest lights aren't fixed
atop police cars.

Years have passed since our dreams died in '13.
We're stationed at desks in different hemispheres
for different reasons. All he has left are his lonesome
thoughts and all I have are mine. It won't be long
before my pen becomes a serpent and strangles
me in my sleep or my butterscotch disks turn
to cyanide. I'll always hold steadfastly
to our dreams underground.

Nick, I promise you that one day, we'll make
it to New York.
630 · Oct 2014
Home
C S Cizek Oct 2014
Wade feeling around Jess' waist.
• ******
• Heat
• Wedding ring
○ Tucked away
87 unleaded
& Tuesday ham.
Two separate poem ideas that never became anything. The bullets came from one night at work, and the rest was to be a found poem.
616 · May 2014
City Groove
C S Cizek May 2014
I pressed my back against a cold
bench textured like vinyl records.
The teens that sit here spin
gossip like forty-fives before
the subway train stops. Their black
nails dig the city groove
of ears popping and the hopscotch
skips above. A man strums
his steel guitar to the beat
of footsteps echoing through
the tunnels. Like a tambourine,
the kids’ loose change bounces
off the concrete muffled
by his distressed Yankees cap.
They won’t miss the feeling
of Abe Lincoln’s *****, copper
beard between their fingers.
*More room to bury their fists
and dig the city groove.
605 · Apr 2014
Thank You
C S Cizek Apr 2014
I stayed up late last night writing you this letter
by desk lamp while you were three streets
down in Nowhere drowning in boxed wine.
If you got caught, the box'd be bigger with iron
bars and a bench where you'd sit and reminisce
about two hours ago when you were too gone
to sit down. Mismatched couch cushions
and black light posters of Marley and psychosexual
women in spandex. Then there's you with a cup
in your hand and a hole in your skirt, dabbing
the corners of your mouth with my late night
confessions. Thank you.
594 · Aug 2014
Poetry
C S Cizek Aug 2014
One story in two hundred pages,
or one in two stanzas of four lines each.
585 · Nov 2014
I Found Out
C S Cizek Nov 2014
Like an outcasted stoop kid,
I sat glass-backed, bar-assed ten
feet away from the main streets
waiting.      Waiting
for some leaves to fall off treewires.
I waited for inspiration in the bitter
November chill biting at my ankles.
And I got funny looks from football
cap colleagues on this dressed-down
Thursday. The trees were practically
naked. Scarce blossoms and partridge
leaves crisped by the stagnant air.

The door'srustedhinges-aircrack-
waking ends a four hour sleep
short. I found out she was a lesbian,
and allergic to ****.

My mouth tastes like plain Pixy Stix
and I can only swallow in short bursts
like a camera or pool water over-
whelming the filter hole. It's like
untreated brine that I'm swimming
around in, ******* in, trying to sweeten
it with my natural body oils,
but it's not working

because my pool is also a lesbian,
and allergic to ****.
578 · Jul 2014
Sunflower Iris
C S Cizek Jul 2014
Her eyes are like tidal waves,
constantly threatening to break
the cornea and drown me.
She lures me past the buoys
and lets the tides pull me farther.
My hands are like paddles,
pushing water behind me but never
enough to regain sight of the shore.
I take in a few more breaths of dry air
before I'm completely submerged.
I cannot see the sand beneath me,
so I take one last look at her sunflower iris
blossoming above the waves before
my lungs give out.
569 · Apr 2014
Summertime
C S Cizek Apr 2014
I held my swimming pool stomach
as they unraveled the hose from the side
of the house. I laid on my back in the needle-like
grass that perforated my skin. They cut beneath
my ribs and lined me with a wood tarp to keep
the water in. No anesthetics, just a cup of fruit punch
to numb the pain. The yellow parasol inside dropped
deeper into the cup with each sip. They placed the hose
in my incision and sewed the skin around it.  
As my stomach expanded, I sipped harder, so the pain
would go away. But as I neared the bottom of the glass,
the liner ripped, and summertime was ruined.
556 · May 2014
Awaiting Autumn
C S Cizek May 2014
Pacing on cold, honeycomb linoleum,
I watched the sun rise through mesh
curtains. Sunlight striped my chest
like Gothic architecture while a clock
measured the outside. Two strikes
for a car to pass, seven for a lonesome
jogger, twelve for leaves to reach
the road, twenty for a cloud to overtake the window pane, and three
months left for me to watch it.
545 · Jun 2014
I Just Want to be Beautiful
C S Cizek Jun 2014
She intertwined her thick fingers
behind both shelves of the medicine
cabinet and embraced them clamorously
into the sink.

I.

Maybelline, Rimmel, and Revlon
now spotted with flakes of dried toothpaste
and ****** hair.

Just.

Her hands dove wrist deep into the pool
of glamor and acceptance before her
and emerged with scarlet lipstick.

Want.

She uncapped and carefully ran it across
her stiffened lips, accidentally coloring
her skin and the corners of her open mouth.

To.

She mashed a makeup brush into a jar
of powdered blush and swept it over
her cheekbones like a blood red sunset
overtaking a mountain.

Be.

With black tears running down her face
and staining her white shirt,
she reapplied her mascara.


**Beautiful.
538 · Jun 2014
Makeshift Ashtray
C S Cizek Jun 2014
He knelt down beside the nightstand
and gathered cigarettes smoked down
to the filters in his growing hands.
Loose ash stained his palms  
as he moved the butts to one hand
and slid a coffee cup closer with the other.
He stood up—his eyes barely met
the drawers' brass handles—and placed
the makeshift ashtray on top.
523 · Apr 2014
Never Stopped Dancing
C S Cizek Apr 2014
A solar sunflower danced on her dashboard
and the lei on the rearview hit me like a snakebite.
Scented trees beneath my feet smelled like a flower shop
fire. Her seatbelt was knotted like her shoelaces
and her lemon lips kept me coming back.
Between us on the highway were CD cases and enough
loose change for a sweet tea. We turned off the radio
and listened to the roar of the wind through her cracked
windows. Her dress' hem flattened on her thighs
like the moon. Four hours to a truck stop with curios
and 75 cent ****** machines in the bathrooms.
Her doors creaked on their hinges as we danced
our way to the concrete.
522 · Jun 2014
Future Starving Artist
C S Cizek Jun 2014
I’ve always wanted the artist lifestyle
even though I paint with words.
I’ve always wanted unfinished paintings
taking up space in an East Village apartment
with acrylic stains on a futon. I want those late
nights awake creating, making sure every idea
is brushed against a canvas’ grain before it’s swept
beneath my worries of utility bills and eviction
notices. I want to see possibility in everything,
and I want to push everything to its limits.
*I want to be so ******* close to the edge
that I could misstep and die at any moment.
L'art est ma raison d'être.
508 · Jan 2015
We Just Watched
C S Cizek Jan 2015
Our first time was in a honey-colored
Cadillac on the caramel seat covers.
My hair was combed back;
yours was corkscrews at the ends
of fine blushes both ways.
I hope this doesn't sound like cookie-cutter *******.
507 · Aug 2014
Americans Are Water
C S Cizek Aug 2014
I-81 North towards Hazleton.
                   Exit to Hazleton.
Merge left away from Mahanoy
City exit.
           Luzerne County crossing.
                             I always thought the spheres on telephone wires were kids' basketballs that got stuck in the sky.
    Three New York plates in half a mile.
                              151 A or B?  
Kelly Clarkson tells me through static that I don't know a thing about her.
    Water beads on plastic cup lids by the "diet" indent, but never goes in.
          Americans are water.
                      Lemonade clots the cuts
                      on my lips.
The car's a few years old but still carries its dealership scent.
                   Adjacent drivers keep their
                   lazy eyes on their phones.
Prismatic flashes through tinted windows from a woman changing CDs.
           Oaks in the distance overtake
           stores and church steeples.
                *The earth is theirs.
What I saw and driving directions on a trip to Wilkes Barre, PA.
503 · Apr 2014
Painter & Canvas
C S Cizek Apr 2014
I sat a foot away and sketched her. I didn’t use pencils.
I drew her with words. I started with her cheekbones.
They were raised like hands eager to explain
what gradation does. Her mouth provided the answers
and moved like sketchbook pages in the wind.
I moved on to her eyes. They were like the Van Gogh palette
from which “Starry Night” was born.
The charcoal above them was like a ******
of crows at dusk. If she saw imperfection,
she could cover it up. She was the painter,
but also the canvas.
474 · Apr 2014
Unfinished City
C S Cizek Apr 2014
I took my eyes from the white, tiled floor,
placed my fingertips on a frosted window,
and used my sleeve to clear a view of Williamsport’s
skyline. I saw the buildings as part of an unfinished
masterpiece. Ross and Hepburn had their visions,
but lacked the essential skills and supplies.
Ross couldn’t overlap shingles, and Hepburn’s
red and yellow palette put the project on hiatus
until the spring when the snow melted.
I receded from the window, dried my sleeve,
and looked back down at the unfinished tiles.
468 · Oct 2014
Morning Complex
C S Cizek Oct 2014
October twenty-ninth, two thousand fourteen.
Wednesday.
Jacket weather. Woke up at six o'clock
and watched the garbage truck pass.
Caramel latte at 8:30,
but I slept head-cocked until then on a love seat.
Showered slowly. Made sure not to put too much
weight on my leading foot. I ran a mile and the risk
of blisters last night. Probably Tuesday, late October.
I prefer callouses textured like sand dunes.
The ones Frank O'Hara slept on. I tried
to strangle her neck but only hit sour frets.
Lycoming's new tables beneath three hundred dollar
parasols looked like ashtrays and gas station fountain
drink spill trays, but I still sat beneath them.
458 · Apr 2014
I Can Wait
C S Cizek Apr 2014
I sat beside my window and listened
to the dragging of heels and drunken laughter
four floors below. I pulled the plug from my outlet
to let in the sound of two strangers having ***,
so I could see if there really was a difference between
what happens between two people and what happens
in the midst of mindless company. I paid the landlord
in Monopoly money. Soon enough, I'll have to pay the rent
of Boardwalk for an apartment on Baltic Avenue.
She told me she'd be over after she ate, but I didn't
want her to rush it. I can wait.
Take all the time she needs
to make memories out of broken bottles
and bent caps. Clothes all seem to melt away
when ***** slides past ladies' lips, but I know my girl
has a Solo cup of tap water between her knees.
That is why I wait for her.
444 · Aug 2014
Only So Much
C S Cizek Aug 2014
Every flower in a fenced
flowerbed only has a few
petals to pick from until
you're climbing up
the stem like an elevator
that can only jump floors
so many times before
it gets stuck on a chained
bench with a cinder block
back and a $1,000 bail.
Maybe after a few nights,
I'll spar with the cast iron
bars 'til one of them falls
like the petals from my thin
fingers to the sidewalk.
436 · May 2014
The Stars in California
C S Cizek May 2014
I unrolled my sleeping bag like a rope ladder
to get a better view of the searchlight stars
that filled the sky and the river at my feet.
String lights washed up on the rocks unplugged,
but the ones above never stopped shining.
Minnows danced to the clouds passing
like slow motion strobes. Flashing lights
from a private jet made a few stars seem
bigger than they actually were. I assume
the same goes for the ones in California.
435 · Apr 2014
China
C S Cizek Apr 2014
The radio across the room
doesn't play FM, but that's okay.
I'm content with static propaganda,
and a cat biting at my pant leg.
I guess China won and the debt
ceiling doesn't have a fan big enough
to keep all of Capitol Hill cool.
I have a fan still in a box in my bedroom
beneath ***** clothes and empty folders.
I could be the solution to Washington's problems,
but I feel better holding out.
434 · Nov 2014
"Just Poems"
C S Cizek Nov 2014
They were just poems.
Took me like five minutes.*

Yeah, but did you read them?
Do you understand how many
words are beneath the ones you saw
on the page?
421 · Apr 2014
Joy in Stress
C S Cizek Apr 2014
On warm nights like this, streetlights
dot the sidewalks thick like map markers.
The screeching of tires mixes with applause coming
from the church. The breeze pushes my hair like a broom
in the deli I used to work at. Croutons and capicola
don't taste as good forgotten beneath the stove.
A bike light dances beneath the brush and teenagers
hold hands like chain-link.
Doors on either side of me catch carpets and don't close
like textbooks during finals week.
419 · Apr 2014
Constant Hum
C S Cizek Apr 2014
He wanted to please her as he had when they were fifteen,
she just wanted sleep.
“Please, I’m not in the mood tonight,” she groaned,
and turned towards the threshold of their bedroom.
She fixed her attention to the clatter of dishes displacing water
she was too tired to change.
Her wine glasses were closer than they were in the sink.
He turned his thoughts to the constant hum of the street light
outside their window,
and thought of this marriage.
407 · Dec 2014
Line Breaks
C S Cizek Dec 2014
I hope you'll find me
          sitting on the edge
                  of a dash where
                                   the line
breaks.
I've been working on an essay for the past five, almost six, hours.
405 · Jun 2014
A Good Heart (16 Words)
C S Cizek Jun 2014
I'm not leaving behind loose change
to later find a hundred dollar bill
beneath my skin.
391 · Jul 2014
Welcome to New York
C S Cizek Jul 2014
A man stumbled over to Catherine’s car
and pounded on her window. She cracked it.
“W-welcome to New York. Want to buy a map?”
A cigarette filled in the large gap of missing teeth
in his smile, and the stench of alcohol ran over it.
The light changed, and Catherine sped off.
The man stepped backwards out of his sandals
and tripped on the curb. He landed in a pile
of garbage bags as Catherine readjusted
her mirror.
**Welcome to New York.
A paragraph from my freshman year Creative Writing fiction final.
378 · May 2014
Taking a Look
C S Cizek May 2014
If my GPS didn’t take me the long way,
I’d never see the luscious mountain tops
spilling trees down their faces in spring
or mallards coasting downstream.
I’d miss out on a patch of stars
filling in for absent clouds
or a leafy overpass catching
the sunlight just right.
C S Cizek Sep 2014
Samuel Coleridge.
Lord Byron.
William Butler Yeats.
William Carlos Williams.
371 · Dec 2014
10w
C S Cizek Dec 2014
10w
You hacks wouldn't know
real poetry if it ****** you.
360 · Sep 2014
With a fallen branch...
C S Cizek Sep 2014
With a fallen branch,
I drew a line dodging pebbles
in the path, but I haven’t
the will to cross it.
I am J. Alfred Prufrock in the flesh, and I hate it.
C S Cizek Jun 2014
I'm studying my surroundings
because I don't want to throw a white
sheet over reality and lie about
what's underneath.

I'm fighting the urge to rhyme
because I don't want to have to mix
and wrench words to speak my mind.

I'm suppressing fits of profound speech
because I don't want to shift diction
to sound older or wiser than I am.

I set a table up outside
because I don't want to write inside
my head.

I'm tracing leaves, watching cars pass,
and sipping tea because I don't want
to guess.
To rely on dreams is to ignore reality. There needs to be an equal balance of both.
325 · Aug 2014
I Can Only Hope
C S Cizek Aug 2014
I just hope my brain doesn't
slow too much before I die
and I hope I never stop dreaming.
When everyone else is on
their stomachs in their graves,
I hope I'm looking at the stars.
A little adaptation.
309 · May 2014
A Poet
C S Cizek May 2014
I don’t need to act profound
to feel like a poet. I don’t have
to unnecessarily waltz around
the truth because I can’t always
fill a stanza. I don’t have to rhyme
to get my point across.
I don’t have to curse life
or write my sorrows. I don’t
have to manipulate the emotions
of others. I don’t have to manipulate
my own. I don’t have to write for anyone.
I don’t have to appease anyone because that’s
not poetry. It’s not about tailoring your mind
to meet the expectations of others. It’s not about
always speaking eloquently. ****
anyone who tries to establish rules for poetry.
Poetry has no guidelines, only the ones
we establish ourselves.
295 · Jun 2014
Why People Can't Move On
C S Cizek Jun 2014
People always want to forget
their pasts and live in the now,
but they can't because their tire
swings are still tied to dead trees.
285 · Apr 2014
Untitled
C S Cizek Apr 2014
Under winter's breast,
we were calmed down and tucked in,
but not very tight.

Winter coats were pulled
off wire hangers as fast
as they were hung up.

Last night, Winter placed
one more layer on the earth.
We added one, too.
276 · Apr 2014
Loneliness and Rubber
C S Cizek Apr 2014
Clenched teeth taste weak as they hold back the truth,
and each second wasted burns more than any mouth washed out,
but it’s worth it. “*******, Mom,” is what she says
as a sting of regret coated her tongue like cough syrup. She never holds back.
“I hope you ******* die.”
Liquid metal and salt fills her mouth to keep her quiet.
“You’ve got nothing to show for your life; that’s why Dad left.”
A heat is burning her tongue,
and leaves behind the painful taste of rubber,
like the marks her father left on the driveway.

— The End —