I feel as if I am being sexually molested by an invisible force, trapping me in chains. Though tiresome and alone, life sends a sense of distain. Brought upon me as it whispers insults through my right ear, fingers stroking my cheek while I shed a tear.

The only reason you can't move on is because you choose to lay awake at night reading old messages, getting your hopes up and wondering how it could of been. You know that letting go is not easy but you don't even give it a try, you remain in the same depressed state because you choose to be in denial and hold onto this fantasy. If you do not get out there and try to be happy you never will be the choice is yours.

You're not even worth remembering. But when that one song plays, I still get the same sick feeling in my stomach. As if I just discovered your true colors all over again.

Everyone deserves to be accepted unless you're white, a male, straight and stayed the gender you were born with and don't agree with the views I have. I have the right to my opinion but if you're not voting for Bernie Sanders you need to be beaten to a pulp. Our opinions need to be heard and yours needs to be silenced with an air horn. If you believe in killing terrorist you're a bigot and if you don't believe in abortion you're stupid and 36 weeks is a proper time to abort the baby. Accept me for all my genders although you don't even know half of them. Everyone is racist subconsciously and educate yourself to find out why because I don't need to educate you myself really because I have no supporting evidence and quite frankly  I'm talking out of my ***. I absolutely despise white people although I have ,German, Irish, British and French ancestry but they're still pieces of **** for what they did back in the before I was even born! You don't like me although I'm black NOT because I'm black as a matter of fact you never made a comment on my race but you're still racist. I don't care what people think as I'm outside protesting a bakery who won't make cakes for gay people. Women are oppressed in this country, the men who lose their kids in a divorce settlement, being told that women can't **** or abuse them mean nothing to us it's all a myth. I'm a loud mouth, unappealing, racist, violent controlling perpetrator but just love me!!

If you choose to hold onto the past, the only  issue is you! The situation is already done and over with. Time eventually moves forward and whatever it is holding you back is no longer the cause of pain, it's you choosing to still be in pain.

I wish that I could feel that joy of finding a four leaf clover. Such luck receiving something so small and simple. As of now I have nothing, so please wake me up when winter is over. Before my memories become nothing but the waters ripple.

I spent three years with you now you will spend an eternity in the sky. You were my first boyfriend and will now be my first funeral. It seems like yesterday that we were children hiding in my father's garden now we're all grown up and you have passed on.

It's hard for me to imagine that someone I once held the hand of is now lying lifeless in a morgue somewhere until you can be burried or cremated. I know that we went our separate ways years ago and I did not speak to you after being in a bitter state but I wished you the best in life.

But as of now I hope you are doing well in the afterlife and reuniting with those you lost and find comfort there.

R.IP Nehemiah, I'm sorry the way things ended between us.

Lair lair! waste my time
Lair liar! equivalent to slime
Built me a home under a delusion
Therefore my absence is the resolution
Liar Liar! You are disgusting
My respect for you is just combusting
Liar Liar! Waste my time
Lair Lair! committed sins
Now pay for your crimes

"Life's a dance, you learn as you go.
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don't worry 'bout what you don't know,
life's a dance, you learn as you go." -  John Michael Montgomery

Nothing like receiving harassment in the mail, got so mad and blew all my money on a dress on sale. Waste my time pondering over boys who won't text back, being controlled by those who view my existence as an empty bag of fruit snacks. All I want is to be myself, enjoy my adult life. Instead having the doors of my well being scratched up by a cleaver knife.

A little boy with bright red hair, was playing by the balcony above the stairs. Standing on the seat of a rocking chair, pushing it back and forth without a care. Rocking so fast, throwing himself over the balcony, ten feet in the air! I rushed to save the child, searching everywhere to see that the little boy was never  even there.

I wish that the person you once were would come knocking on the door and take us on and adventure once more. You'd rather lie, sneak around and get high and I'm just left here to cry. All I have left of of you is a baby attached to my hip, he has your eyes, ears, hair and lips. He's the only thing that reminds of who we used to be I hope one day you'll open your eyes and see... The family you've torn apart. Times may have changed but didn't leave my heart.

People carry hearts, not within the chest. Inside the sleeve. Love is a rare spoken language as the world silently grieves.

Her name was Maybelle Brown. She fell in the lake one morning and drown. Every night they hear her retchid sounds. She screams and screams, a demon she has been deemed. She stares back at you with a porcelain face and bright blue eyes, lurks in the mist with no blue skies, cry and find her as you hear her cries. Dead since eighteen eighty five not one soul in the lake has been found alive.
Will you join me for a dive?

When you stand by the ocean, watching the moon kiss the sea. Maybe then you'll remember me.

Her hair was burning flames, you reached your hand across and continued to braid.
She left a trail of your blood behind her, you cleaned it up as you followed behind.
She took a blade and removed your heart from your rib cage, she still felt it beat in her palms. She left you to die laying on the hard ground and you still watched in awe as she walked away as you closed your eyes forever.

People are not going to say that they're coming home with pizza and then come back with a bag of chicken, unless the pizza place is closed. Beware of someone who claims that they have a type especially if you don't fit the description.

Life went from college and working, traveling with no rest. This all changed with a pregnancy test.

Long naps, mood swings and craving unhealthy snacks. To sleepless nights, kicks in the ribs, heartburn that made my chest flare. I knew you would have a lot of hair.

On April 6th, you were born. After 3 days of labour, it was hell and I was torn. 8 lbs 1 oz with black hair and blue eyes, with the loudest cry.

Life then went from a quite room to one full of cries at night. Rocking you in the cradle swing, listening to nursery rhymes and to you I'd sing.

Endless amounts of diapers filling the trash, freaking out over a mild rash. Tummy time on the play mat, crawling on the floor, now preventing you from running out the door.

Now I'm stepping on toys, buying bigger clothing sizes in toddler boys. Spending extra money I could of saved, making me want to crawl into a cave.

But I cherish every day. Through all the screaming, teething, random bites, when putting you into clothing is a fight.

Even when you make me sleep half way off the bed, repeat words that I shouldn't of said. The cuddles during nap time, watching Sesame Street, tickling your chubby feet.

In 4 days, it will be your birthday! Hooray! With all the stress of birthday plans, I'm so happy for my little man.

Watching you grow up is all your mom could ask for. Happy early birthday my little explorer.

Never in my adult life have I ever experienced such greed of the people in this world and the horrifying ways they use it.