I am your reflection

There stood a stranger in my mirror,
who did everything I did  like a game of simon says,
I've never seen this stranger before,
But he was always there when I was,
his presences had a heavy feeling like there were
weights in my stomach,

“I am your reflection”

That's all the stranger would say to me,
I must be day dreaming,
Cause how can my reflection be a stranger.
That's what i had thought,
I had thought you were merely nothing but a man who stood in front of me.
Yet I came to learn that you were anything but a man,
You were the monster under my mothers bed.

“I am your reflection”

See I grew up thinking that you left me,
Like an unwanted toy at a park
And all I thought of was why I wasn’t good enough.
I pointed the finger at me,
And  ignored the idea that you weren’t there
Because you were venom to my mothers life.
That fake smile she gave me
That laugh she fakes to sound happy
It's all because of you.
She left you,
Hoping that you would no longer be thorns to the roses of her life,
But she couldn’t run away from those times with you
Because she was reminded of them whenever she looked at me.

“I am your reflection”

Not once did she mentioned to you that she wanted to
But you didn’t care
So you took a piece of her
Leaving her with an image of you,
Her being reminded of you was her personal hell,
And for most of my life knowing about you
was mine.
When birthdays came  
i feared that someday
I wouldn’t distinguish you from me
I’d break this mirror if it let me stop seeing you
But I knew it would only prevent me from seeing you,
And not from looking like you

I am your reflection

You standing in the mirror seemed like my destiny was inevitable,
That soon I would become the reflection in the mirror,
Doing everything you do,
And doing everything you did
Because I am your son.

I am your reflection

Though our blood runs the same,
I made it my life goal to be everything you weren't,
Cause I am more than just a reflection of you,
While i live my life i know one day I may meet you again
No longer behind the mirror,
But as a ghost from a distant past
Forgotten and irrelevant

I am my reflection.

Some days I feel like a sailor lost at sea
Sailing the endless ocean not knowing
if I will ever find my destination.
Sometimes it’s like I’m surrounded by a cloud of fog, blinded to the point where I can no longer
tell where I came from or where to go next.
Some days I want to see a light from the distance shining through that fog
Calling my name
Showing me where I need to be.
I wanted you to be my light house,
Clearing the fog around me
And letting me know that my journey ended with you. But I felt so lost when I was with you
Maybe because the lighthouse in you,
never wanted to turn the lights on for me

There was so much on my mind that day
And yet it felt like nothing was good enough to say.
You never had to worry
All you had to do was look at me with those marvelous emerald eyes
And you had me picturing of a life where I could stare endlessly at them.
like a beautiful fire you brought warmth to me
And while the flames of my heart danced
I couldn’t stop but be mesmerized of everything about you.
What a cruel fate it is,
To know that you roam the very realms of my dreams
And no longer the realms of my reality.
It seems pointless to write these words about you
To have these thoughts of you
When it could be that I’m no longer a name that leaves your mouth.

What is it that I am feeling,
Every night I lay down and stare at the ceiling,
Missing something that I once had.
And I’m mad because I let it slip through my hands,
Stuck listening to the same jams,
Reminding me of the happiness that once filled my heart,
At what part of my life.
Did my life start to go downhill,
Pills enter my system,
Meant to make me feel,
But the symptoms make me more distant,
With reality becoming more like a fantasy,
And trying to survive has become a routine,
Because i’m constantly remembering the gleam in your eyes,
Which kills me,
It’s like drowning in a sea of memories,
And every time one passes about you,
I sink further into the deep,
I keep wondering what my world would be like if I hadn’t met you,
If I knew would my night skies be clear,
Why did you disappear?,
You left me in this void,
And destroyed what made me human,
It was all an illusion you made,
Just to corrade my emotions,’
Here I am hoping and coping with the idea,
That I live in fear,
I intoxicate myself with beer,
Trying to numb whatever feeling I have for you,
But it will never undo the history we had,
And it’s sad to say,
But it’s the price I pay,
For continuing to walk down this road,
With this load that does nothing but bring me down,
And I continue to surround myself in the dark,
So it’s no wonder they call me one of the ******,
Because I chose to live in the past,
Instead of in the moment,
And it’s made me live in torment,
I’m crying for help,
But I’m afraid for anyone to help,
Because the last person to help me,
Is the reason I live in this hell,
But I hope one day that someone will tell,
That I fell from the top,
And my happiness was robbed,
I hope someone is there,
To make me feel that someone still cares,
And somewhere someone will,
But until then I must fill the hole in my chest,
And rid myself from this depressed place,
But don't think it’s too late to see the light,
As I write I realize how great my life has been since I filled mine,
And as you read I hope you start,
Because you belong here,
No matter what others say or do,
And I know you forgotten how to smile,
But you will get it back even if it takes a while,
What you desire is someone to admire you,
But what you need is to admire yourself first,
You think you’re cursed,
But you are just a prisoner of your own mind,
Who needs to find their way out,
If you thought this poem was about me you are mistaken,
This poem was made for you,
To help break you out.