here i am
existing
thrown into this world on a whim
without the help of her or him
her i am
existing
  
i wonder as i wander through the words in my head
why should i exist
why shouldn't i be dead
  
here i am
outside in the winter snow
trying to figure out
the things i don't know
  
the snow is cold
much like other things
such cold as the ice
or cold as the wind
  
that’s just it
as i leave the snow and sit
next to the fire
  
you and me
we feel things
with our fingers
or our feet
  
we feel warmth
we feel cold
we have senses
touch
taste
sound
sight
scent
  
we use these senses
to grab a sense
of reality
yet what is reality
and how does it have a sense
of me
  
here i am
existing side-by-side
with reality
the reality that defines me
but can i define reality
  
knives are sharp
and guns can ****
so no i don't think i can
nor never will
  
here i am
her i exist
a slave of reality
  
a
slave
of
reality
  
no
no
no this is wrong
how can i be free
yet not truly free
i have no reason
not to **** me
  
here i am
existing
and resisting
searching for something
more important than anything
  
meaning
  
reality! reality!
oh great definer of lives!
you have taken my life
cut it open with a knife
and removed
  
my
purpose
of
life
  
reality! reality!
please give it back me
so i can be happy
knowing my goal
making my life
whole
  
reality…
...reality
i now believe i know
what you have taken from me
i now believe i know
where it lies
  
for my heart is my heart
and my heart is full
full of life
(full of strife!)
  
because reality. reality.
the only me is me
and no great reality
not even thee
can define me
  
i define my own
reality,
me.

She is beautiful when she dreams
Dreams of yesterday, dreams of tomorrow
Soft smoky dreams of places far, times long past
Hard, wanton dreams of blood and steel
And dreams of misted green fields
wrapped in the scent of a spring morning
Cloud shrouded dreams of mountaintops
Caressed by gentle sunny breezes
Dreams of the milky moonlight
Wrapped about the night like stark lace
Passionate dreams of love and laughter
The taste of hot skin and warm tears
Desirous dreams
Of life, of meaning, of fulfillment
Dreams of romance that make her eyes shine
Dreams of lust and adventure that make her glow
I see her reposed, dreaming her dreams
White as ivory, fine and chiseled
Eyes closed, lips full, peaceful and content
She is beautiful when she dreams.