tossed leaves
falling from their canvas
painting an image of deep auburn and grace
you come with so much beauty
as temporary as the shades you seize from summer
and the frigid tones of winter
alluring howls and destructive winds
you arrive with so much bliss
yet, depart with so much sorrow
at last, setting yourself free from your portrait
your captivating watercolors fading from my view
silly me
i should've known you were never mine to keep
-c. alejandra

heavenly
graceful
subtle to the eyes of many
blatant to the one who was in great need of her
swept by her stubbornness
taken by her spirit
appearing as one to everyone else who stood with her
she became everyone to him
skin
smooth as sand
light as coffee
hair
dark as oak
eyes
more captivating than that of the night sky
but such a beauty comes with a twist
pushed aside from the beginning
destructive
distant
bitter when accommodating the thoughts of others
but much destruction lay in the words she spoke to him
such aversion came with a graceful painting
he'd soon discover that the one thing which brought him great happiness
would also be the one that inflicted mountains of pain upon him
-c. alejandra

you reach out for my hand
hoping for my acceptance
fulfill me with all the things you wished you’d said
tell me you’ll be there and accept me for all i am
yet walk out the door when there is nothing left for you
lie to me when you say you’ve changed
but where there is a smile, is a mask shielding your inner heart
a place that once consisted a home for me is now my greatest fear
your hands a beautiful field of daisies
now encrusted in thorns
though truth be told
i would find pleasure in the pain engraved upon my fingertips
-c. alejandra

and it seems as though im losing a war once again
at first with the world
and now with you
a battle begun by your cold piercing words
a continuous struggle to save myself from letting you go
and a constant reminder that no matter how many times we say we’re better off alone
convincing ourselves solitude- our only friend
an excuse that prevents us both from harming the other
we’re both in need of each other

i throw knives
slicing every last piece of forgiveness you’ll have for me
you shoot your gun
aiming at my memory
hoping to unleash all the suffering you’ve caused me
i drop bombs
seizing your innocence and kindness
leaving you nothing but bitterness and despair
you stab me with daggers
watching me howl in terror and confusion
i release arrows
attacking your mind like a target
each one caving in deeper than the last

and what is left is the horrific image of who we’ve become
my body, a temple with demons oozing out of it
yours- a crime scene left to be forgotten
i stared longingly into your eyes and saw a bond thats now estranged
an inferno that is nothing but an utter flare
a love that is now hatred
a friend- now an enemy

one more second together and we’d suffocate each other with all the words we didn’t say
one last day together and we’d have nothing to share but tears and regrets
….
a lifetime together-  and we would be engulfed by Hades himself
-c. alejandra

you were once fire
burning your passions infinitely
lighting yourself up for others to be engulfed in your inferno
at last
you’ve set yourself ablaze
hoping someone would burn out with you
waiting longingly for someone to come around
expecting somebody to save you from the mayhem you’ve deluged yourself in
she walks
elegantly, coldly, with full intent
eyes.
fixated on you
captivated by her presence
you reach for her
knowing that with one touch your entire world will no longer burn
but congeal
her gaze crosses yours
hands touch
amid the smoke and rain, amongst the chaos
she vanishes
ruthlessly
callously
with no warning
she lets go
trapping your entirety
seizing your fire
and igniting her own
she turns away with no glance in return
hollow
enraged with dejection
you’ve descended into a storm
an everlasting hell
your flames
now thunder, a depiction of your rage
sparks
converted to rain, the spitting image of your sorrow
cackling of the fire
emerging into thunder, a portrayal for your agony
your wildfire-
a hurricane of demolition
eliminating all warmth you once owned
you deluge yourself in isolation
convinced that with anyone else you’ll be incomplete
yet-
with her
you will be absolute.
infinite.
but what do you do when the person you want most, is the one you’re best without?
-c. alejandra

I woke up to peace
Our planet was filled with love
But then, I woke up

pistols fall from my skin
violence my eyes cant bear to witness
-c. alejandra