Quit waiting
for coincidence.
Happiness is a joint satisfaction.
Picture nothing
because there are memories too numerous to pause and click.

Un-learn nothing
because knowledge isn't cheap.
Sprint when its raining
because the road is unclear.
Say u love someone because soon all your teeth will fall off

When I was a little girl
And my mother still laid out clothes for me
She'd always tell me
"You're the prettiest girl in your class,
But you'd be beautiful if you combed your hair more."

When I was a bit older
And I didn't care much
About what I wore
My mom would always say
"You'd be beautiful if your clothes matched."

When I was 14,
And I skipped breakfast and lunch
And binged at dinner
I lost my appetite
And felt like throwing up
When my mom said
"You'd be beautiful if you didn't eat so much."

I wonder if you saw what I did to myself
If you'd have the nerve to tell me
"You'd be beautiful if only you didn't
Take a razor to your wrist or a finger to your throat."

i worry about him all
the time*
i told you and
you shook your head like
you knew all too well

eleven nights later,
you tell me to get some
sleep, you say i worry about
you all the time

and i'm starting to think
it's code for people who
are trying to say 'i love you'
to someone who doesn't
love them back

I want to have a body
that matches my mind

There's something
About listening
To the rain
Fall on the streets
Below
While looking
Out from the
Third story
Window
That I find
So peaceful.

As I hit my
Cigarette
The last few times
Before dying it out,
Like everything I've
Ever dreamt about,
I stop to wonder
Where my life
May go.
I could live to see the
Age of twenty-five,
But I guess time
Only knows.

"Hey Rach, You okay?"
"Rach, you don't look so well..."
"Need a hug?"
"We all miss him..."
"Rach, answer me, please."
"Do you need to talk?"
"Rach... please..."
"You may fight your demons, but at least you won."

All of the things I heard today
and yet I still feel numb.
The sadness is numbing
the pain is numbing
but no matter how many
trips to NASA or sweet kisses
she gives me, I do not think that
I'll ever forget how I feel right now.

I have never felt so much anger
and sadness and rage and guilt
all at once.

I want to throw up and cry and
wish I were dead as well.

But, seeing all of these people who
seem like they care, I guess it would
hurt for them too.

Death seems to affect all of us.
Even to those who never knew
them personally, just the thought
of death brings people to tears.

I guess for me it just makes me
numb now. Numb and sad.
I can't cut because I feel like it
would dishonor his death.
When I cry, I still see him
behind my tears.
I cannot even *blink
without seeing him..

My dreams are dreamless and
my emotions are fading.
It seems harder to breathe now
and the light is barely tolerable.
I want to hide and scream and
cry my way out of this hole I've
sunken back into, but I cannot.

I have too many things going for me.
I just have to keep trying.

The significance

Of the unintended

Is the bane of my existence

Deafened by the eerie echoes of regret

Whose sounds make a mockery of my soul

I pray for the fear to go to sleep.