I don't know what to say to them.
All they do is distort my own view.
All they do is try to condemn
My own world that I've created through you.

How could they know what I haven't said?
How could they share what they don't understand?
It makes me want to stop wishing I was dead.
But at the same time, to wish I was under command.

One that's not my own, because when I'm free to my own self,
I reveal too much.

Everybody loves her
Because of her face and her voice
But maybe it would all be different
If she actually had a choice.



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Guess what? I wanna die, not all the time, but every night.
I love to soar through nature's door, but when society kicks in, I don't anymore

No one can see behind one part of me, and it's sad to say,
Part of me wants it that way
But there's another side, that wants to strive,
Out from the hole
its been it's whole life

And if you're too blind to see, I guess it's all on me.
I'm done trying to show
I just thought you ought to know

But now I'm done, I'll just sail away
And just go back to the struggle of each day.

Don't feel bad, it is what it is,
I was just the girl who fell
into it.

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It's like I want to be let in,
Let into the real world,
Let into others' lives,

But how can I if I can't even let the truth into my own life?

This rejected validation from those I think I love
Is making me question why I'm even alive.

And who am I alive for?
If I'm living for me then why am I not happy?

Nothing makes sense anymore
But when did it

Washed up illusions
Painted by the most insane

They’re floating in a fiery space
Where they’ll never land the plane

Do they even care of
How they are, up there?

They’re drowning oh so elegantly,
Destroying slowly all they meet
Because inside they feel so beat

They are so wrong, can’t you tell?
But whom will truly break the spell?

Leading me to make mistakes
Just so you can find something to blame
Me for

Yet again
Invading through my memories
Just so you can be free

Forgetting everything until the
Next time comes through
I guess
It is just what we are used to.

Vengeance is my religion
and
My religion is vengeance.

Watch what you do
To those who aren't cruel
And I will subdue you
To the pits of hell.

Why can't we go back to the memories that made us blind?
Ignorant, but at least we were happy back then.

Now we know everything and we get sad easily.
Sad over what?
Over the things that were lost from us?
The things that are now lost, are softly remembered as a dream.
A dream that we can never get back again.

It will never come back.
We can't go back.

What do I feel?

Sometimes I feel like a song
Sometimes a beautiful song, other times an overwhelming wreck of a song

Sometimes I feel superiority to others
Sometimes I feel lower than dirt

Sometimes I'm mellow and monotonous
Sometimes I'm hyper and anxious and paranoid

Sometimes I'm devious, callous, and shallow
Other times I'm sensitive, over dramatic, and emotional

Sometimes I feel none of these, sometimes all.
So when the question is asked, "How do you feel?"

All I can say is:
Nothing. Or . Everything.

It seems fictitious, but it is indeed real.

The sweet serenity
Of sipping hot cocoa
❄️
The joyous laughter
Coming from the screen
❄️
The silly symphony
Echoing from the instruments
❄️
The jazzy chorus
Humming poetry
❄️
The cold winds blowing
The soft snow snowing
All during Wintertime

I love you.
But you hate me.

That's fine, because I hate myself, too.

I love not only you, but your hatred towards me as well.

You think you can make it Disappear
Lock it up into the highest bell tower, throw way the key;
Erase it- the words from your speech
And pretend it never breathes

By keeping it away, the power grows stronger,
meaner,
But you wouldn't know that.

The girl in the backseat
Wants to eternally leave ,
But you wouldn't know that.

Growing sicker and sicker from the disease,
It's here to stay, It'll never leave
I can hardly breathe!!!!

But you wouldn't know that.
And you don't seem to care to even try to know that.



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