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my compassion keeps me
grounded, if I didn't have that
I don't know who I'd be.
I live my life through empathy,
through story and heart and
breath, I try my best to listen more
than I speak. but it's hard
sometimes, because there's so much
that I need to say.

if I could, I'd take with me
everyone who loves me, and
I'd bring there somewhere warm
where we'd all be safe. I forget
how strong I am, that my arms
can hold in all the worry and
desperation escaping from
someone I love.

my eyes can see past the superficial
and right down into the deepest secret
place. it helps me feel more human
to help others.

but sometimes I'm scared
I'll lose myself in them, feel myself melt
into someone else's world until
I can't find my own anymore.
I bring that quiet courage here
to you, to teach you how to love
so deeply that the other person
becomes an extension of yourself,
feeling what you feel and
laughing as you laugh. finding beauty
in others helps me find
the beauty in myself.

I had to travel a long way
before I got this far. I didn't fall
into a well of strength by accident,
I had to pull it out from within
me, from a place I didn't know existed.

if I had only one thing to say, it would be
to trust yourself beyond anything
you ever thought possible. believe
your own story and the things you've brought
from your hometown to here, wherever
you've settled. allow yourself
to be as scared as you feel, but step forward
anyway.

through telling my story, I hope
that every shy kid on this planet
finds their voice, and that every
courageous mouth finds the ears
to listen.
 Mar 2013 Cary Fosback
Timothy
The winter night is bitter.
Take me with you.
The old familiar sound,
Footsteps breaking forming ice.
Take me with you.
The wind picks up. 
I shudder at the destitute,
the poor and barren road.
Take me with you.
I heard you might travel this path.
I'm cold and alone
I bet your car is warm and worn,
With the sitting of cheery company.
Take me with you.
The streetlights in my distance,
Promise peace, Promise rejection.
Another hotel key,
Another dead mattress for me.
I miss the backseat of a car.
Take me with you.
I'd like to one more time,
(Take me with you)
taste the nectar of adventure.
(Take me with you)
I'm afraid though,
(Take me with you)
That if I go alone,
(Take me with you)
I'll not have anything of value.
(Take me with you.)
I want to tackle the open road
together.
It's starting to snow. 
The fire that kept me warm
has begun to burn low.
Take me with you.
The strands in your eyes
reflects through the sunrise in my morn,
Your welcoming promises
I have yet to find in every step of my turn.
You’re the enticing melody
when my serene nights howl with sorrows,
You’re a seraphic presence
I imagined in the room when I’m so hollow.
Your hand fits perfectly in mine
but, how can you be so blind not to see it?
You’re so close yet still so far
well, I just can’t avoid your cold heartbeat,
Indeed, we’re just like dominoes;
I fall for you, and you fall for another.
All Rights Reserved © 2013
 Dec 2012 Cary Fosback
Timothy
Piercing the white veil,
The tarmac steaming
from overrun millions.
Dotted yellow hexagrams,
lost in a backward glance.
Far from precious cerulean skies
Farther still from incarnadine sunrise.
The predawn grey swirls it's silken dress,
Alluring all towards the edge.
Heavy hands hold the circle
while bleary eyes fail to pierce the translucent fog.
The black road;
smeared with last nights fallen remnants
begs for another story to travail over it,
or fall prey to it's countless tragedies.
The taste of stale coffee bites,
with an acidic bitterness that gags.
that memorable flavor
Combining with the old taste of the last cigarette,
brings the pain of aging headaches,
and memories of stories before the road.
 Dec 2012 Cary Fosback
Timothy
I've been there.
In the heart of darkness,
Shaking, scared.
In that place
where good men lie
and innocence dies.
In your heart
you've seen it too
In onyx, jet black.
You know it's true.

eighteen,
yet to live,
eight,
no more to strive,
For that one golden cup,
of love of life
of things unheard.
one,
prey to hatred,
prey to madness,
prey,
to the depths.
His very own,
heart of darkness.

Like birds who spread their wings
embarking on a journey,
your life soars and sings
in fight and flight away from the gurney.
I scream your name silently,
vying for you to notice .

Listening carefully,
observing and applying
hoping to see what you are wanting.

could i be the one who is good for you?
the right one?
the one to keep it all smooth?

when the going gets rough,
the rough gets you going
would i be the one to set you free?

imagining what it would be like
to just caress your face

knowing your name
gets me through the day

high from the small spoken word
that gave me such a rush.

foolishness gets in the way
when i try to talk
little old me trying to have some fun.

your beautiful soul
shines through your eyes
such purness
such love
they hypnotize

living each day with you not in my life
makes me feel terrified and scared.

peaceful little soul
so young
so free

Kiss me dear,
softly,
this time for real.
Opened up a petal

That layed dormant and flat
She smiled and said
Well how about that?
I picked the rose for you
With the deepest of care
I showed you it’s color
Of thorns it was bare
Carefully I placed it
Between thick brown hair
I showed you a smile
For which you were not prepared
I took your hand and you took mine
The feeling of butterflies
Oh so divine.


    I’ve met you some where

In a place of dreams
Your furry and fluffy
and colored of cream
My kitten so sweet
So soft and so bright
Watching little paws
Watching kitty fight
Himself in the mirror
Or a string instead
You hold your little kitty
And he sleeps in your bed


  
    The winter comes and drops down

making all the children frown
They zip up jackets oh so tight
Hoping to prevent frost bite
They put on gloves and wool socks
they make little forts from ice blocks
Winter passes and spring returns
Look at all the pretty ferns
The flowers bloom and the bugs return
Fighting off the winters spurn
Spring ends and autumn is here
Look at the orange ,so queer
the trees leaves fall, and the pumpkins patch
the eggs have all come and hatched
Winter comes and the children rejoice
It’s seems the seasons have a voice.

    A tingle in your stomach

A thump in your chest
You nose feels funny
and your legs won’t rest
You see her and she sees you
Almost as natural as morning dew
Your nervous and sweating
The feeling that you might be regretting
A decision you’ll make to hold her hand
Hoping that she’ll understand
That you like her alot
A no one else
It’s more powerful than anything else
You’ve felt or seen before
You just can’t take it anymore
You grab her hand and she grabs yours
You love her and it can’t be ignored
But she loves you too
And you become so happy so unglued
You walk her home and say goodbye
She goes in and tries not to cry
You’ll miss her alot through the night
But never fret never fright
You’ll see her in the morning like every day

and the sadness will go away.
 Aug 2012 Cary Fosback
Ghazal
I’ll take you on a journey,
Holding you by your hand,
I’m the first girl to hold it, right?
I’ll grasp your trembling fingers tight
And lead you into the unknown,
Whispering in your ear words
That you’d only fantasized about.
You’ll whisper back, that without
Me you can’t imagine living anymore,
And I’ll carefully twist my words,
So you won’t notice that I didn’t assure
You with the promise of being by your side forever.
Together we’ll walk towards that black hole,
Whose door I’ll have decorated with color,
And you, unsuspecting, will lean on me,
Will smile at me, will thank God you found me.
A minute more of contentment I’ll give you,
But that’ll be it.
And before you’ll even realize, I’ll push you in.
You’ll turn around.
You’ll be all alone.
Surrounded by pitch dark silence.
Trapped in the emptiness of betrayal.
Caged in your thoughts and second thoughts.
Entangled in the web of self-doubt.
Tossing and turning and hitting invisible walls.
No one to answer your cries and calls.
Kneeling on the abyss, filled only with anger
For the girl who pushed you into black infinity,
You’ll lie in there, helpless, still unsure
Whether you hate me, or you love me.
(Or do both).
While I’ll be gone, ****!
And my world is soundproof.
So, oblivious to your travails,
I’ll sit comfortably,
And will flip through the pages of my diary,
That records names of all those who had before you,
Fallen in the very same manner, for me.
And I’ll pen your name down, another one in the list.
Then I’ll think of that girl in my school bus
who’d once mocked me-
“No one will ever say I Love You to you”.
I’ll scoff at that decade-old memory,
Setting out on the search for a new casualty.
finally, something
has gotten through.

I'm craving fields
and painted skies,
I want to choke on
the poems that burst
through my throat,
I want them to sing
the way your eyes do

finally, I want
to do everything I can.

I want to throw open
the doors, draw
on the walls,
swallow my clutter
and exhale my own kind
of laughter -- I'll submerge
anything I don't want to feel
beneath the waves

finally, I can smile
the way you do.

my spine has grown
softer, there is a magic
in my fingers and I'm learning
how to release it, it's coming
straight from the peace
I'm finding inside my chest,
somehow there is no longer a war there

finally, the reeds
are untangling themselves.

my gift is to hold, to
cradle, because i know
that whatever i am holding
must be deserving of my love.
maybe someday soon,
i'll realize that i can hold
myself, just as well as you can.

finally, i feel
like dancing.
just like them old stars
i see that you've come so far
to be right where you are
how old is your soul? --

(jason mraz)
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