"Leave him. You're gonna go crazy."

**"I'm already insane."

Words can hurt,
But the silence kills me.

He has no idea how much he means to me

He is just so beautiful

And I love him so much...

But then again, who am I to deserve someone as special as him?

The lakes inside my eyes dried out

I wasted every drop on someone who wasn't worth my tears.

I am not asking
For much but all I want is
To just be happy.

I feel like my heart is about to pound out of my chest.
I feel as if I'm going to have a heart attack.
I feel so desperate, so stuck.
There's no escape.
Fear starts kicking in, and I feel hopeless.
I feel like I am about to die, right here, right now.
I start breathing rapidly, I feel like I am choking.
Tears then make their way out of my eyes, and fall down my cheeks.
It's hard to take it all in, and I can't handle it.
Then like a child throwing a tantrum I start kicking and squirming, as if that were going to break me free from anxiety's curse.
The sad thing is, I know it won't.

"You're very quiet," he says.
"You don't speak much, do you?" He says.

Darling, I've got a lot too say;
I'm just afraid of making a mistake.

I saw her one day, at school
She was absolutely gorgeous and I was too shy
She looked like a model while I just loved to eat all day and all night
I knew I had zero chance with her, but I decided to give it a try

I approached her at lunch, I said "Hey"
She smiled and started a conversation
I couldn't have been happier that day

We started hanging out together since then
But my spirits dropped when a guy much more 'fit' tried to win her heart
And one day when we were  talking he came up and asked her to be his girlfriend

I could feel tears coming out of my eyes
But of joy not sadness because she said
"Oh sorry. I'm dating this guy," and pointed to me

Later when we were alone she confessed that she liked me
I asked her "Why? I'm just curves, the kind people don't wanna see"
She said " I don't care what you look like, because I care for what's inside
Besides, there's only

One                                           Me
        
       Curve                            To
          
                  ­That      Matters

I don't know why
But he makes my heart beat faster
Even when I don't want it to beat at all.

I got bruises and black eyes
Running into walls, trying to find you

But I guess love really is blind after all.

Your mouth- the gun.
Your voice- the trigger.
Your words- the bullets,

The bullets that have broken my heart, my mind, and my soul.

My heart is like a butterfly
So thin
So delicate
So fragile
And also like a butterfly I have wings
So I'll fly away if you don't catch me

Chances can be gone
In an instant but regret
Can last *forever.

Curse my sense of touch.
Because of it, I wouldn't have thought that the feeling of being in your arms felt like I was finally home.

Curse my sense of smell.
Because of it, I inhaled your aroma when I hugged you; it's addictive.

Curse my sense of hearing.
Because of it, I was able to hear your voice and every time you spoke it was so soothing and intriguing.

Curse my eyes.
Because of them, I was able to see your beautiful face.

Curse my mind, for keeping you there all the time
And curse my heart, for thinking you were the one.

Your hand fits perfectly on the curve of my hip,
My hand fits perfectly on your shoulder blade,
And both of our hands perfectly fit together, intertwined with love...

And now we shall dance the night away, and
Forget about the w
                                o
                                  r
                         ­            l
                                        d... ❤️

I was in the dark
And my sightless eyes touched something sharp
I kept on trying grab it
Didn't know how much pain it caused me
Until I decided to turn on the light
And saw all the blood on my hands

Here obsessing over celebrities and singers that don't even know I exist

In love with fictional characters that are only part of a story

And falling for strangers I won't ever see again

I am in the dark abyss of depression where no ray of hope could reach.

"You're tired, aren't you?"*

Not in the way that you think.

Oh,
   
         how                
        
                     I'm                                        ­             
                  
                              fa­lling                                  
  
                                             for                        
                                         ­               
                                                 ­     you

Your eyes, your smile, everything about you,
my attention it seized

But somehow this love that was immense
Slowly got less and less intense

This love for you has now deceased
Finally from a beautiful curse I have been released.

When you fall friends will be there to catch you in midair
Or maybe they'll just play and mess with your hair
But sometimes they're not what they appear to be at first
Then eventually the truth will burst
They become masters at deceiving
At the end you they will be leaving
You realize that you they have been controlling
The lies now slowly come out crawling
You'll see that they've been playing with you all along even you may not believe it's true
But never trust them
Never judge them
Because the moment you do
They'll be backstabbing you

How cruel of you to come into my life
And convert the gray around me into rainbows

And when I'm finally able to see colors
You leave and take them along with you...

"I can't," he says.  
"What can't you what?"
"I just can't."
"You just can't what?"

Even though I ask, I already know the  *feeling.

My heart starts to pound at the sight of you
But I know I have to let you go
I need to forget you, but I just don't want to
And even if I wanted to, I just couldn't.

You always want to know how my day has gone
You try to make me laugh when I'm down
You tell me how you want to be with me all day long

You ask me how I am every single day
You say you love all of my imperfections
Nothing else screams "I love you" more than your subtle ways

And I really appreciate all that you do for me
But the sad truth is
As hard as I've tried, I just can't love you as much as you love me

You used to love me when I still didn't realize that I too, loved you back
You fell right away, too fast,
While I had my eyes closed, still hanging in the air

Now that I have finally opened my eyes, and know that I have really fallen

Sadly, I fell too late, too late...

Now it is I who loves you too much when you've already stood up from the ground and walked away.

My question is, where will all this love go now?

Maybe it's true
That someone won't cross the sea for me
Walk through fire for me
Or fight for me...

But that's okay, cause I have myself
And I'm the only person that I ever really need

You loved me, I rejected.
My mistake, now regret it.
My days have now been filled with darkness and rain
I realize how much you've suffered, for now I'm the one in pain.
I truly am sorry for being the cause of your sadness
So many people have broken me, and I became heartless.

I love you
I don't need you
My heart can't seem to decide
My mind can't seem abide to one side
Love is a confusing, devastating, beautiful ride

I no longer care.
Why should I live if there's no meaning to my life?
I just can't take it anymore.
I'll just be here, waiting for Death to come and get me.
The sooner I'm out of this world, the better.

I'm afraid of making mistake, I'm afraid of saying something wrong
So that's why I don't talk whenever you're around.
But at the same time, if I don't ever talk to you or tell you how I feel,
Isn't that making a mistake too?

Sometimes I still wonder...
Why do I even wait for your name to light up my phone?
Why do I even wait for you to talk to me?
Why am I even waiting for you?
Why do I feel so hurt?

I know that I don't deserve you after everything,
Yet you're still the only person I want.

Lonely is the night, but my mind very occupied
Busy with the thoughts of you swirling in my head
Then a wave of you hits me, I think I might be dead
Then I realize that I'm alive and the shore to salvation is just ahead...

But somehow I change my mind and let myself drown
And in the sea, I'm drifting deeper down...

I waited for you to come.
I did, with a smile on my face when the thought of the sight of you came into mind.
Happiness shone over me like the sun  shines over the earh.
I waited
And waited...


*But you never came.