That fake smile can't disguise
the pain I feel inside.

So often I find myself
Engrossed in conversations
I am not a part of
When I am alone
On the bus
At school
In any shop
I hear interesting snippets
Of stories
Or annoying gossip
Sometimes I will
Count how many times
They say like
One girl
Said it 37 times
In six minutes
I laugh at peoples jokes
Or the stupidity of their statements
To amuse myself
And pass time
I know you do too
Because we hear something hilarious
Or weird
Or something we wish we hadn't
And we make eye contact
And laugh
At the weird things you hear
While eavesdropping

Thank you for kissing me in places
that do not know shadows or light.
The places where band aids refuse to
stick and the wounds are deep as the
blood drops out thick. Where the pain
is felt and all the dark secrets i keep are
found .Thank you for seeing my body as
beautiful and something to be cherished ,
while you took off the Egyptian cotton that
keeps us warm from the raging storm off.
Thank you for allowing me to make your body
my home and shore. Thank you for loving me
when i was lost and not wanting to be found.
For painting my broken hardened heart in
colours that i thought would never exist after
it's pretty shades of red turned to ugly shades
of grey. Thank you for telling me how beautiful i am
while i saw myself as a walking corpse torn apart
and burned. Thank you for planting hope in the
depths of my soul. Thanks for staying my dearest
love. I couldn't have made it to the light without
you sweetheart* ~