i want to string all the pieces of you into
something that fits
but
your edges are jagged and wrong
and
the spaces in my chest are not the way you left them
and
my mouth is too sharp for kissing

i am tired of wet wings and
wax burns

We all saw how Alice clumsily fell down that hole into wonderland
But I ponder an wondered could there have been another hole leading to another land ?
One that she couldn't see
How deep could this rabbit hole be
I wonder what strange things we would see
Maybe a two headed dog
Or a cat that croak like a frog
How strange would this undiscovered land be?
Would there be horses the size of nails?
Would they have snails that weren't so frail ?
Could the move faster then the speed of lightning?
Would there be an ice ring you can wear around your fingers ?
Or maybe twinkies would have eyes
A dragon chasing its tail
Would the sky be more then one color ?
Would there even be gravity ?
Could you only talk if you didn't walk An could you walk only of you didn't talk
How strange would that be
All of this down a second rabbit hole
Into another land more stranger and more wonderful
Then wonderland
How deep would this second rabbit hold go

Don't shoot me
My hands held high
If I raise them any more they'll touch the sky
Your gun pointed at me
How could you possibly have fear in your eyes
Look in mine
See the will to live
As we both stare down each other
Guess this is what you call a stand still
I dare not move
Wouldn't want you to make a mistake of me charging
Giving you the chance to make your gun breath
Shooting fire and oozing smoke
No I'm not moving one bit
I'd even hold my breath if I thought it posed a threat
But my hands held high can't you see
I'm not a threat
It's you who's threaten me
But you have the gun so your in charge
Does it make you feel more like a man
I'd *** my pants if it helps
To bad I already went
I try to hold back the sweat
But I'm nervous you see
I've never had someone point a gun at me
My arms getting tired
I can't keep this up any longer
But I can see the power in your eyes getting stronger
I don't like the feeling of helplessness
As my arms begin to quiver
You began to smile
I can smell your pride from here
Man it's foul
My arms began to fall
You tighten your grip around the handle
Choking it
But I get a second wind and my arms **** up
POW
as we stare at each other
You lose your smile
Your gun is smoking why is it smoking!
I can feel something
But I'm to afraid to look down
What have you done
I can feel warmness leaving
Why is it fleeing
I'm getting weaker
Your staring in shock
Do something!
Say something!
What have you done!
As I feel my body shift backwards
In the mist of this free fall
I've never seen the sun this beautiful

Flicked by one frantic finger
The sting still lingers
The tiny fleck of a red mark
Left its’ spark bruised his heart
How easily a child is hurt
And yet only seconds after tears had fell
He was back outside merrily playing with himself
But not actually playing with himself ;)

I'm scared**
when I lie awake
to the creak of the floorboards
rustle of the bushes
the walls that seem to call my name

and even  
right under the bright sun
when every single flaw
and all the pain I feel
shines
all in front of there eyes

and the honest truth is
I don't know how to smother the fear
lock it inside
transform into the strong person
they make me to be

so that's why I cry
and why I be-little who I am
I speak in little phrases
and hide behind my friends

and I wonder
because
shouldn't seventeen years and counting
have
toughened my bones
smoothed the edges
of a life I was supposed to lead?

A woman asked me
How it felt to see my lover again
And I found myself
Most inconveniently out of words, darling
My mouth opened
I almost said
Being with him
Is like Summer rain
In the Sahara
Or the first sip of water taken
By a thirsting man
Like the cool feeling of grass beneath bare feet
In the spring
The smell of blooming Wisteria  
Like a bonfire in Autumn
The sound of leaves falling from the trees
It is like the first snow of winter
Blanketing the world in white
Or the the steam from a cup of tea
But instead I smiled
And closed my eyes

"It was everything I needed it to be."


.

You don't love someone if you can leave them for days without warning.
You don't love someone if your happiness means more to you than theirs.
You don't love someone if you can lie straight to their face and not feel the slightest bit guilty.
You don't love someone if seeing them cry doesn't shred your heart to pieces.
You don't love someone if you get angry at them for being upset and they don't open up to you right away.
You don't love someone if you make them feel guilty for things that are out of their control.
You don't love someone if falling asleep to their voice isn't the most comforting thing to you.
You don't love someone if their laugh isn't your favorite sound.
You don't love someone if when you look into their eyes, you see a reflection of yourself.
You don't love someone if when you kiss them, your mind doesn't go completely fuzzy and you can still remember your name.
You don't love someone if being in their arms doesn't feel like home
You don't love someone if you allow your friends to talk badly about them and you agree.
You don't love someone if just hearing their name doesn't make you smile.
You don't love someone if making them happy isn't one of your top priorities.
You don't love someone if you can admit that they love you more.


    

                                    B.S.