She's perfect in a world where there's no such thing
With the beauty of autumn and the promise of spring
The romance of winter, the intensity of June
Bright as the sun, mysterious as the moon
She's sweet as honey and fresh flowers in the summer
Words like a singer and a heart like a drummer
A voice like an angel and the grace of a bird
She's amazing and she's perfect in every sense of the word.

Is this the friend zone?
Or is it just hell?
Do you even notice?
I could never tell.
Is this the friend zone?
Or am I lost?
If this is what love is
It comes at too high a cost.

Exhaust fumes and cigarettes
Drunken parties placing bets
High heels tripping on the floor
Losing it all
Still playing more
*That's what you get for waking up in Vegas

It's the story I refuse to tell
The story of before we fell...

The story of an empire of glory and fame
The story of Rome by any other name
We were a tower made solely of paper
I was dangling off the roof of our fragile skyscraper
The wind in my hair was strong enough to defeat
Those ****** angry monsters that danced at my feet
We were an empire, but all is the same
We were just Rome by any other name

Until death I'd sworn to defend
That ******* story
This is the end

Stuck in the middle of the universe
A universe with no edge
The end of an endless reality
And falling off the ledge
Stuck in the middle and spinning fast
Like a black hole of endless doom
Stuck in a little tiny cubicle
In the center of an endless room
Stuck in the middle of a false reality
A place that can never be
Captive in a box, a box with no walls
In a place where there’s only me

I was not prepared for this
I'm not ready still
I won't be prepared for this soon
And maybe I never will

I was not prepared for this
But I guess I am to blame
It's all my fault; It's all my fault
It's a responsibility I must claim

I was not prepared for this
And now I'm running scared
Maybe I still wouldn't have the strength
Even if I was prepared

I’m a zombie of the darkness
Caught in death’s grip
Pain streaming out of my very fingertip
Groaning from the anger
Or of primitive game
After death, life is never to be the same
A zombie of strength
Representing the weak
Maybe I’m normal
Or a barely dead freak

I'm fresh out of emotions; I'm dying inside
Like something crawled through by pores, through my veins, and it died
I'm weak and I'm withering; I'm dead and I'm cold
I'm falling apart, rusting, growing mold
I'm sick and pathetic and bitter and detached
There's an itch inside of me that can never be scratched
I'm broken and hurting-- Far beyond repair
I'm dying inside
*But I really don't care

So many lonely nights
So many lonely girls
Not enough happy days
In a lonely, lonely world
So many lonely people
Lonely girls and lonely boys
So much hollow sadness
And never any joy

I shouldn’t be crying
I shouldn’t be missing you.
I shouldn’t be with you
but oh, how I want to.
You shouldn’t be flirting
You know that it’s wrong,
But I know it too,
Yet I still go along.
We shouldn’t be together
We shouldn’t have lied
It’s time to jump off
Of this roller coaster ride.

She had red lips like cherries, blood, and wine
He skin was like porcelain; ‘twas white as milk
Pink cheeks like fruit picked freshly from a vine
But smooth like velvet or cashmere or silk

Her hair was soft as it blew in the breeze
This siren’s song called softly like a prayer
She moved so smooth and graceful, full of ease
One second she is here the next she’s there

Her lips kissed mine so calm and sweet and chaste
This beauty like a lily of the Nile
The clock stood still, but somehow still moved fast
She made the whole world melt with just a smile

With eyes a color rainbows can’t define
I love her but I know she won’t be mine

The words on my lips are too sweet to reveal
So I beg for your pardon as my poem is concealed
The rhyme and the prose, I'm too scared to say
So it fails to see the light of day
The words they lust but will reach you not
But they will live on. They'll live on in my thought.
There are words that I want you to know
And I'm sorry, I'm sorry
But I can't let them show.

*Forgive me

I used to be happy
Once I was alive
But now I'm a butterfly in a beehive

I used to belong
Once, life was fair
But now I'm stuck here
When I want to be there

I want to be happy
But how much does it cost?
I'm stuck reminiscing
On a *paradise lost

National Novel Writing Month
Sit down and write some stuff.

Day 6, four thousand words behind
Go left or go right can't make up my mind.

So many more days to go
Still not enough to finish NaNo

Caffeine and sugar keeping me up
If I get to 20,000 I'll be in luck

The ups and downs, sorta like life
But I've got years and years to write!

Can you capture forever in a box?
Can you ship it to me overnight?
Can you capture eternity and store it
In the shadows where you hide from the light?

Can you capture forever for me?
Can you wrap it and seal it with a kiss?
'Cause there is time to be spent and memories to be made
That I don't want to miss

Can you build me a shiny time capsule?
And fill it with memories of the past?
If you can't capture forever
At least make those memories last.

Just another pawn in the game of life
Trying to take the king
Just another piece of a 7 billion piece puzzle
Just trying to succeed this thing
This thing called life
This bitter, harsh game
And when my body is gone
Who'll remember my name?
*For I am just a pawn

And then there's nothing
Nothing left
The amnesia fairy
The memory theft

Rebooting....

**** me now
Please do, please do
I'd rather face hell
Than face the likes of you
I don't want to see your face
Kiss your lips, feel you close
Because the heartache pills I'm taking
Are more than my dose
It feels good for a moment
Then the guilt fades in
For a minute it's bright
Then eternity is dim
I know what you want
You want that moment of lust
But I want you to love me
But instead I must
Let go of all of the things that we had
What once could be happy
Just always ends sad

I know you think it's funny
But try not to laugh
You put me back together
Then you tore me back in half
You made me feel perfect
Then left me to cry
I know you think you're funny
But why?

What did we do right,
Except do nothing wrong?
What did we do good
Besides not doing bad?
How did we help?
By sitting here like bums?
What did we do at all
But make people sad?
Why award the lazy
For getting off their ***?
Why award the worst
For doing good?
Why not award the helpful?
The people who are kind?
The people who stand up
When no one would?

You used to be perfect,
until you thought that you were
You think you’re amazing
You think you’re a star.
You used to be sweet
Like candy like cream
But now you’ve been ruined
But I know you’re better than you seem.
You have a heart,
I know it’s still beating...
You still have some kindness
But sadly it’s fleeting.
I thought you were perfect
But you’re conceded and vain.
I’d never fall for you
No, never again.

If guns shot words
Those guns would say
"Fight not with bullets, but with tongues"
Use the words, the powerful words
That sprout out from your lungs

If grenades exploded
And they were loaded
With kindness and happiness and joy,
Those bombs would blow
And smiles would glow
Over every girl and boy

If cannons were words
Those words would tell
That words, they touch
While weapons yell

If guns shot words, those words would say
"We fight with love,
Not guns today."

Felt the last raindrop of a storm,
felt so cold, but seemed so warm.
The last scream of a cloud,
A sound so quiet, but yet so loud.
Dealt the last hand,
cards so awful, but times so grand.
That last ****** feeling,
stopping the pain, but yet never healing.

Mom, my head hurts
My stomach aches.
Mom, I'm losing it
Mom, can I go late?

Mom, I forgot my homework
I just don't want to fail
Don't make me go back
Mom, I'm feeling frail.

Mom, I've got the chicken pox!
Mom, I have the plague!
Mom, I can't walk
Mom, I broke my leg!

Mommy, mommy
Don't make me go
I'm completely falling apart.
Mom, I refuse to leave
Every where I hurt.

There's no excuse, no reason why
Everything just *****.
I know I need to learn something
I just don't give a ****.

It's not like I'm learning anyway
No answers for which I've yearned
On one hand, I can count
The values that I've learned.

The walls had ears and the walls had tongues
The walls they hear and the walls they hum
Can you hear them call?
Can you hear them sing?
Can you feel the rains of the early spring?
'Cause the walls are thin
And the walls are weak
But the walls, they hear
And the walls, they speak.

Walking away
A victor? A coward?
Strutting quickly
No longer empowered
Falling from a skyscraper, tower
Because you gave me a shove

I only went up there because you made me
I thought that you would come to save me
But I just sat there, longing, waiting
Waiting for your love.

This one isn't about you.
Don't worry, though, the next one probably will be.  
But this one, I promise, won't be about you.
It won't be about how you left
Or how you lied
Or how you made me feel
It won't be about the good times gone rotten
Or the times I let you control me
This one isn't about you
Or about my feelings for you
The feelings that were my fatal flaw.
This one doesn't even concern you.
It doesn't even mention the way you tore me apart
And then pretended I was the one who hurt you
This one isn't about the time I told you how I felt
The time when I told you I was broken
And you blamed ME for breaking you.
No, this one isn't about you.

There's strength in simplicity
Pain in duplicity
Terror in this city
That burns to the ground

There's power in numbers
Of trees burning, lumber
A lion in his slumber still knows how to growl.

It’s just a crush
I’m not obsessed
I’m not in love
I won’t confess
You told me I’m pretty
I fell into your arms
I didn’t expect
You to bring me such harm
It’s just a crush
But I’m still confused
“I’m not in love”
It’s so untrue

He looks at me
I fake a smile,
I run and hide and cry a while
He looks at me
Fear trickles down my spine
But again and again I tell him I’m fine
He looks at me
Like mind control
Staring me down and devouring my soul
He looks at her
Like she’s a work of art
He’ll love her, and he’ll break my heart.

You can't please everyone.
Hell, you can't please anyone, can you?
That's who we are, as humans.
We try to please everyone, but all we want is to be pleased ourselves.
We're people-pleasers, we are.
Well, we try to be.
You can give all you want; take what people want to give you.
But you can't be pleased.
You can't please those who hate you,
But why care?
You can't even please those who matter the most.
But maybe pleasing them doesn't even matter at all.
And sometimes it seems that you'll never please yourself.
But it's trying that pushes you forward.

Life's a house of horror,
And death's a bitter chill
Love's 1000 floors of hell
With just a second of thrill.
The only way to stop it,
Is to forgive those who've done you wrong,
But it only starts again
When you finally move on.
Suffering is supposed to end
It gets better, of course.
But even Cinderella
Could fall off Prince Charming's horse.

An everlasting darkness is developing around.
The world is spinning endlessly at the constant speed of sound.
Making piercing noise but not hearing a thing
My ears are frozen solid; I can’t hear danger sing.
The everlasting darkness is approaching quick
Coughing from the smokes of hell, making myself sick.
The world once sparkled, but the dark is bleeding through
Heaven’s light's collapsing, all because of you.

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall
Who are you to say?
Who’s the fairest of them all?
We’re all beautiful in our way.
Mirror, Mirror, on the wall
How are you to know?
Some are beautiful on the inside
But cannot let it show.
Mirror, Mirror, stay away
I don’t need your lies
Everyone is beautiful
The way they are in my eyes.

I remember him old and sick
Never lively or free
Now I'm left wondering
If he ever smiled at me
I was only a child
When his life passed away
I can barely remember
The dreadful day
His life was a miracle
Only supposed to last a while
If only I could remember
The way he used to smile.
All the times I have forgotten
All the memory lost
I never thought that crying
Would ever help the cause
But crying is all I can do
For every memory's a blur
All that's left is the picture of
'Daddy's little girl'

My artwork is clutter
My novel is ****
My poetry's raw
And that's pretty much it.
That's all that there is
That's all I can do
And all this time I've been blaming you.
But the fact is
That's not what hurts the most
It's not that you are gone
It's just my soul's become a ghost

Maybe ADD is a conspiracy theory
Popping pills 'cause authority is wary
That we'll think harder than schools allow
But our brains are more than numb by now

We know that Martians don't exist
And monsters don't hide under beds
We know that imagination's dead
That's what you've drilled into our heads

We know that robots won't abduct
Not until you turn us into them
We know not to listen to a word you say
We won't make that mistake again

You won't listen to our problems
We had dreams but we lost them
You chased them away
But who needs dreaming anyway?

*We do

The words, unspoken
Cracked and broken
Hanging in the air
We don't need to say them
But we know they're always there

The stale taste of words unwritten
White teeth clenched and pink lips bitten
Eyes, unblinking, stare
We don't need to write the words
We know they're always there

Tales untold and clauses unformed
Letters and punctuation swarmed
On a page and everywhere
We don't need to hear the words
We know they're always there

The words, unspoken
Cracked an broken
Hanging in the air
We don't need to say the words
But we know they're always there.

Years, they are years, and years go by
But time is arbitrary and time is mine
Time is a *****, but time's by my side
So I'm just living like I'm living
And I'm living my life.

Years, they are years, and years fly by
A million precious moments in the blink of an eye
Time, that *****, has left my side
But I keep living like I'm living
And I'm living my life

Years, they are years, and tears you cry
What happened to the time I knew that time was mine?
But time is arbitrary and time is lost
I guess I just don't have enough to cover
Time's high cost.

There's one single thought that has plagued me every night since summer began to end
Every night since I felt the ghost of freshman year
Breathing down my neck
And promising that nothing will change this year
This thought haunts me like a vengeful spirit
Trying to break me down even though it knows
I'm still broken from last year
And I can't be put back together
The one thing that constantly beats me up
Is knowing that school is approaching and I
Can't ever stop it
Because there is no way out
Even when it becomes too much and I forget how to breathe
Anxiety that chokes me until I can't even ask for help or beg for mercy
And maybe, just maybe they'll let me out
And I can go home and pretend that I'm not alive
But it's only for a day
Because when that's over
The
      Bell
            Tolls    
                   Again

You told me I was fragile
I had to agree
I knew that eventually
you would hurt me
You said you would never
But nevertheless,
You hurt me more
than I ever could guess
And now I am crying
Like never before
Crying since the day
You walked out the door
*And I couldn’t miss you more

Give me five more minutes of summer
Give me time to prepare
Give me a little more time
I'm not ready yet; I'm scared

Give me five more hours of summer
Give me time to rest
Give me time to be free again
And let me be my best

Give me five more days of summer
A work week that's free of work
Give me an escape
From everything that hurts

Give me five more weeks of summer
Hell, give me fifty-two
Give me time to spend
On me, before I suffer through

Give me five more months of summer
Please, just set me free
Give me five more years of summer
And please, just let me be.

My secrets are yours
To have or to keep
To haunt you in the night
Or to sing you to sleep
My secrets are yours
To save or to borrow
To cherish today
To forget about tomorrow
My secrets are yours
To hold onto tight
To sing you to sleep
And haunt you in the night

Concrete jungles
Paper towns
Paper people
With real-life frowns
Paper smiles
Plastic stars
Ignored taxi cabbies
In yellow  paper cars
Paper couples
Singles too
Real life me
Paper you.

What is a dream
But false hope and lies
And crushed happiness
Turned into despise?
What is fate
But heartbreak and pain
Expected sunshine
Turned into rain?
What is happiness
But a figment of mind
A nightmare of happiness
Catches you in a bind?
What is peace
But war having stopped?
What is hope
But a balloon that has popped?
What is a dream
But false hope and lies?
And what is love
But heartbreaking goodbyes?

What used to be true
Has evolved into lies
Falling in love
Then doing otherwise
Not even paying attention
To what we do
Ignoring relationships
We used to pursue
Like nothing's important
And nothing makes sense
Pointless conversations
No longer intense
A meaningful sentence
You just go along
I'll always remember
Before it went wrong

I'm not alone
But I, sure as hell, am lonely
I'm a train that's settled somewhere beyond the tracks

I'm falling apart
And I can't be put together
Time's a bouncing ball, and I'm the jacks.

Hanging on to every word
Hoping someday
That my heart will be cured
But I know that it can't
And I know that it won't
Because I just love you
And you simply don't
But still I hold on
To every word
Waiting for a heart
That can never be cured