She simply
wants me to
stay
asleep
stay
with her
In my dreams
forever
or at least
until
she's through with me

Icy pitch
No warmth in her tone
all is cold
she frosts glass with her breath
her nose almost touching the mirror
glaring coldly into her own eyes
tears freeze
in the middle of their
descent
down her stony face
but the blue blood that drips down
into the sink
makes her arms feel warm
and fills her with
fire

Everything stops when I see the            blur
hear the low, vibrating                                 buzz
                                                       RIGHT IN MY EAR
Flinch
spasm
FREEZE

My muscles
every last one
tense and rigid

                                         Don't
                                          Move
        ­                                    An
                        ­                         Inch
My head snaps to my shoulder
My hands fly to my neck
                                   my signature tic
protect my ears protect my head
or the monster
the horror
                               the bee
will fly into my skull and-


I feel its legs                covered in short fibrous tendrils oh god no

scuttling inside my head an itch I can't scratch

a whimper lodges in my throat
                               threatens to turn into a

SCREAM

-into my brain

the blur flashes by
as sweat     r
                      o
                          l
           ­                 l
                              s
down my back
MY SKIN IS BURNING EVERYTHING IS BURNING
the wasp in my head is
STINGING ME EVERYWHERE AT ONCE
Tears sting
Arms sting
everything stings

***** this phobia!

Burn, freeze, sanitize
my hands
So they'll forget how yours feel
Cleanse my skin again and again
And maybe I won't remember
How soft you were in my arms
Lobotomize my brain, please
So I can forget who you are to me
Then maybe a smile
will appear on my cracked lips
And I will
lose you
to that beautiful new world