Your name used to wander through my thoughts every night.
It kept me up, it made me ill and worse than that, it made me feel.
Paper sheets with scribbles of your name, pillows wet from tears due to your games, even toilettes filled up with what I ate that day.
The thought of you made me tremble, while my knees shook, my heart dissembled.
Time went by, my knees were still, my heart wasn't completely ill.
I was okay, not well, but okay.
Nobody saved me, I did it myself, with help from a book, good friends and yourself.
I'll never be cured, I still have a dent.
After all, who doesn't, after being this wrecked?
However, at this moment I can say I'm fine, not well but just fine,
Where your name used to be, there's a hum in my mind.

Those rocks
And mountains
Casted a shadow
And also
Those little
Dwarfs

The trees in winter
Casted a shadow
And also
the birds
While they laugh

Those lakes
And rivers
And other million drops
Casted a shadow on the
Land

Those numbers
And words
Casted a shadow
Those letters
And their meanings
At a stand

I've been putting them down on paper
In blue ink without a stop
My mind being the exemplary model
Hands committing the sins
I've counted the number of times
I slain the beasts on those pages
Tear the paper and throw it
Crumpled torn and frayed
With every step I take
The kaleidoscope reflects another mistake
With every ray of light disappearing
The shadows take the place
I sit back in a modest way
Greedy for the ripened fare
A sound playing at one corner of my head
Embodying cognitive dissonance
My fate is warbling
Symmetrically.

It's not impossible to rhyme
If you know how to keep time
Yet, if you don't or won't or can't,
It's all right. In the name of art,
There are Things far worse than free verse.

I dream that you
Tie me to the monkey's fleet hands
And we leave for some rushing green waterfall
lush and lonely
Where we drown in divinity.

Meanwhile in this world
your words fall in sparks
they burn
they fuse, become the scales upon my skin
I would slough them off if I had the strength.
I don't have the strength.

I wished for sugar-men with eyes of stone
Instead, a lotus-eyed boy with frail bones came
upon me and took my heart away.
You were not there to see.

So now I must roam clad in shells and scales
With eyes that are tea-brown in sunlight
looking for dark and mossy wells in which
to bathe a heartless body
without losing too much blood

And wonder how
You are not here to see.

A new kiss
Softer lips
With gentle urgency

Love trembling through
Soft caresses
Adventures never fleeting

Tears of happiness
To replace the cried out tears
Smiles constantly painted

Something new
Proving with greatness
Why the past is forgotten.