It all seemed so perfect from the beginning,
My first love since the move,
But slowly I began to realize my mistake,
Control,
That's all he wanted,
After telling me how things had to be,
He returned to his sweet and charming self,
I am a giving person,
He exploited that,
Everything,
I did everything for him,
With nothing in return but his company,
He used me,
Controlled me,
Came close to abusing me,
But I just couldn't leave,
Every time I came close,
He ran after me crying,
Explaining how he'd change for me,
For us,
If I had only known it was a lie the first time I tried to leave,
I simply could not bare to leave him,
Standing there,
In the cold,
Crying like a toddler,
He was so weak,
I thought I could help him,
If only I knew I was powerless against him,
If only I knew he wouldn't stop,
I had always been attracted to the "bad boys,"
If only I really knew how bad he really was,
How much pain and suffering he'd put me through,
If I knew then what I know now,
I never would have said hello to him on those stairs,
I never would have been looking for another guy,
I would have talked to my love sooner,
I would never have gone to his room,
Some of my regrets and horrid secrets lie within that room,
That room of his,
I had to return one last time to collect my things,
He had to stop me,
He had to win me back,
It was different this time,
This time I wasn't giving in to him,
This time I was strong,
Now I am strong for my love,
But now I must decide my true feeling over him,
And my feeling over what happened with him,
I just hope I can be that strong again...