To understand you must be fully understood by yourself

I don't know.
I've just come to terms with the fact that I might love you.
I locked eyes with you for zero point three seconds.
But in that moment something clicked.
Maybe you have a lover of your own.
Or maybe you're mending scars.
But maybe we could work.
So many people pass by countless opportunities every single day without realising what they are letting slip
Away.
But not me.
I think.
I write.
And that's all I do.
And maybe that's worse.
I keep on thinking about you.
I don't deserve you in my messed up thoughts. Who do I think I am?

You know when you feel him lean in and press his soft lips against your skin? It felt like that.... Only more violent. And the marks weren't nearly as permanent. Those kisses will be with me a lifetime. Those bloodstains can wash away in the showers of my tears.

What was what

I'm not sure about anything.
At 18 it's hard to understand.
People think its okay to touch you and shout at you.
I'm a kid, but I'm an adult.
Nothing is final.

At night the thoughts linger a little bit longer.
Not like during the day....
They can play pretend in the sun.
But in the darkness they disappear.
They capture the good thoughts.
They corner them.
They take over.
The evil inside spills out.
I guess, at night things change.
At night things are free.
But not me.

I think the second I saw him everything changed. I felt my world get a bit brighter. And I felt a breeze come in and sweep away the remains of that horrid past. I knew in that moment that there was a change. This was my change. And I was about to grab hold of it and not let go. So that's what I did.