You want to be near me
but also have your space.
Fiercely independent spending days in bed
gives way to the shisha hangout.

                              In one moment, an ecstatic smile
                              is murdered by your melancholy eyes.  

You're confidence surges when you're straddling me;
a tiger ready for the passionate bite
yet you cry like a sick kitten at your own reflection.

                              You don't mind holding hands, kissing my forehead  
                              but then tell me you've just been pretending.

You tell me "I love you,"
but then "I don't know what love means."

                               You feel something is missing
                               yet are most comfortable laying next to me.

And yet I don't mind all of these contradictions...
for some reason I still want to be in your presence
because I have faith and hope that one day
you will see how much mental anguish
emotional confusion yet pure white-hot
right from the sun warmth you've given to me.
And I hope and have faith that one day
you will see what I mean when I speak
I LOVE YOU
into your heart and soul.

The intimate connection

A closeness
where proximity
is never the issue
words caught from mouth to mouth
like a French kiss of communication
Seductive cognitive stimulation
Tingling understanding
from ear to heart to mind
As soon as the first word uttered
first glance in flight
it's as if
loneliness was never known

The lighthearted playful connection

Laughter released roaring from
the core
A dream fostered by two
to champion the fantastical
adventurous night of
spontaneity and the birth of a different self
Veins, blood, cheeks chuckling
A direct line of yellow energy
from one being to the other
spreading like unconscious permission
allowing comic relief
and free-spirited flight of
words, song, dance
It's as if
consequence of action
never existed

The healing connection

Rage and pain
spouted out of a
heartbroken hose
A desperate hope for rehabilitation
And then another enters the space
Alas, another enters the suffocating space
and pumps oxygen back into the room
for hurled haughty words
and salted wounds
No need to choose a side
the center of the bed, saved for you
to curl and cry and become lost in
another's blanket embrace
Holding exhaustion for you
It's as if you had four shoulders
to hold that world of yours
instead of two

The forbidden connection**

Two beings
owned by another
through
rings
or promises
or time
The universe, introducing them
The light accidental brush of a hand
Longing iris to iris
Lust permeating the senses
Logic and sequence futile
Crimson licking up breath,
movement, muscles
It's as if for an instant
a wish thrown out to the stars
to be an article of clothing
hugging crevice, curve, skin

Is just what it sounds,
First you're up,
Then you're down

Can't decide
Of what to write
Of hearing? Of taste?
Of smelling? Of sight?

And you run in circles
But nowhere you get
Because writer's block
Has you in its net.

Cemented shoes
And silenced talk
It's even hard to describe
Writer's block

I
Am
So
Bored

Civic
Studies
Oh
My
Lord

Droning
Teachers
Boring
­Class

Chances
Are
I
Will
Not
Pass

Half
The
Student
Fell
Asleep
­
Zero
Knowledge
They
Will
Keep

Civic
Studies
What
A
Bore

Good
T­hing
I
Like
English
More

I'll write until it hurts.
I'll write until I'm weak.
Writing is the loudest I speak.
Volumes of my glass
as I down each drink,
and choose a tone, a comma,
that will make you think.
And think again.

I don't remember
how to play pretend.

Drunk on guilt and
drunk on whiskey -
I'm drunk on your hurt
and it might **** me.

So I'll write on
because you need to hear me.
We are this way because
you are
never
near me.

Stop blaming everything,
the answers are simple.
Life's not a breeze,
stop playing naive.
We'll go on this way because
you are
never.

We were forever.

No one is talking, but so much is said. We were gonna stay here but were leaving instead. We both set off but theres just one thing, were going our separate ways, not the same. 

They may feed you the lines and fill you with wine, but know that your just their pawn. Soon you'll remember that I was the one, You made your choice and now Im gone.

Morning is a Consequence Id rather not face alone

The hotel floor is my home, cause I couldnt make it sober to bed. Stumbled in and passed out, the ***** straight to my head. The night becomes faded, As this girl becomes jaded the same.  

Summer lighting flashes, and only Miami knows

Wake up late in the evening, hungover and believeing, that Id never put myslef through that again. The highway is roaring and the girl is still snoreing, I sit and wait for my ship to come in.

The rain has picked up and the wind has started blowing,
I keep walking this path, but Ive no way of knowing

A cold breeze blows and the rain dies down,
such a busy city and not a soul around.
Been walking for miles and Im soaked to the bone.
So far from anything; so close to home.

It started out as a flame
Flickering
Dancing off a matchstick that was an idea.
It kindled an idea to help renew,
To regenerate what was once lost.
The fire grew
And with it
A passion that could not be extinguished.

The warmth was welcomed by her body
A body so cold
So helpless against the dangers of the world
And herself.
The fire gave power
And with the power there grew an inferno
Once ignited, could not be smothered.

The fire whispered
Through smoke and cinders;
It whispered
To encourage the distressing ideas that flowed through her.
She was frozen
Frostbitten to the bone without the fire
And so
To stay alive
She stayed close by the hearth.

When friends became concerned
They tried to call her back
But she was too attached to the blaze.
While the smoke tangled in her hair
And coursed through her veins
She drew in ever closer.
She huddled towards the light
That was leading her to her dangerous desires,
Cutting everything off
Except for the sea of flames.
She clung to her damaged thoughts
And kept the fire steady.

Going almost unnoticed
Her skin turned red and warm;
She was too happy to embrace the heat.
She understood she was too close,
Yet she rose from her perch
Roused by the incandescence
The feverish luminosity.

She
A mere mortal
Drew within reach of the alluring fire.
The flames licked her face
Her hands
Her hopelessly lost mind
As she dove in
Headfirst.

Everyone she had turned away watched
Unable to help.


She registered one single thought:
It's too hot.

But
It was too late.
She couldn't step away from the furnace;

For suddenly she was bound by ropes of her own doing
A funeral pyre just for her.
She was stuck within the depths
Of the scorching fire she had so arduously cared for.
She tried to call out
To those just outside the fireplace
Watching
Witnessing
But the fumes enveloped her
Stifling her pleas,
Her cries for help.

She couldn’t breathe
The embers burning her lungs as she inhaled,
Silencing her voice as she exhaled.
She flickered for a second more;
The life left her eyes.
She collapsed
Leaving ash and bone to intermingle into nothing.


What she had once mistakenly perceived
As an idea,
No larger than a matchstick,
Was something she could not control.
But no one could control a fire that destructive
Or
Deadly.