she was lighter
and he was cigarette

she needed him to feel worthwhile
and he needed her to feel the flames

but just like every lighter
her light ran out

and just like every cigarette
his fire died

and just like that
they forgot who they are

this is the problem, you see. i hate orange flavoured things, but don't mind the fruit or the colour itself. i despise chocolate flavoured items as well, but will never complain if a whole bar fell into my lap. i cannot decide if it is the simple idea of disliking the watered down version of the original thing that irks me the most, or if it is something more. perhaps it is the very thought of a half truth - an illusion, if you may - that disgusts me, because these things will never be as good as the real, original item to me. you are the same, i have realised; years of sporadic vanishing and reappearing have not wavered my feelings for you, and all the people i have tried to replace you with pale in comparison.

i might be capable of lying to everyone around me, but i cannot do it to myself or you. the funny thing is that you know this, as much as i know it too. for we are vulnerable as we are broken, and somehow deep down in the darkness where we sink we are guided by the same light, which always brings me back to you, and you to me.

-

"how have you been?"

i miss you in ways i cannot even begin to describe. i miss you the way sleep lingers in our eyes as the dawn breaks, and i miss you when our song comes on. i miss you the most when the storms arrive or when a joke is made and i turn around expecting to see your accompanying smile, but meet empty air.

the truth is, i'm lost. i miss you completely, terribly, unbelievably so, and it eats at me every single day.

"just fine."

i put on the biggest smile i can muster and walk away.

(A.H.Z)

too drunk to blog
allow me to send my inebriated thoughts
ton the temporal lobes which halo your ears
I spend seventeen seconds spending spent time
on times spent wallowing in the too many you're the bests
genesis is failing
genesis is falling upon us
like snowflakes spent forgetting the times we forgot
I forgot to tell you
no matter how drunk I get
I will remember you
so let's regret the forgotten reasons
of reasonable men reasoning the realist responses
of people who forgot to check their phones
for the second time today

I'll drop a twenty dollar bill into the take-a-penny tray at the local gas station today
A tiny donation to the broken mother with four kids who needs a tank of gas to get her to a job that barely pays her the money she needs to feed her children
She goes without tonight

I'll smile at the Walmart door greeter this week
An acknowledgement that will ripple through her subconscious to tell her that suicide is not an option
The boy on check out lane 4 is

I will pull over expeditiously for the ambulance racing by
The new father to be is craddling his newborn baby
Crying out helplessly while his fiance bleeds on their new kitchen floor
Her life will not be lost today

Your reactions to the world around you are what show the world that it does not revolve around you
You revolve around it
Feet planted firmly
Gravity holds down the ability to stay content to my skin like microbs burying into a foreign body

Hold the door tomorrow
You might meet your reason to wake up

Stuck in between two unequal perspectives, I take a slight turn behind. The light trail was obvious. Straight heading towards something so calm and embrace. Along the path, abundant of beautifully bloom lilies and daisies grew on small green bushes with butterflies flew along. The smell, was breezy and soothing. And it probably was the nostalgic moment someone could ever felt. And turned back into reality. It’s once a dream you thought you could never achieved. And those light trails getting bigger shine through as you walked by. The shadow following you is getting smaller and everything seems so full of determination and pride. You realized, there’s trees growing higher, high as one of your goal trying to reach the sky. And it make a canopy, for you to shade under when the sun shining too bright that it sweats all over your journey of willful heart. Smile, standing over the decision who no one ever thought you could make. Belief, you are stronger than the concrete heart of yours which love was absence for years. This is a long life journey, you need to walk by two feet, regardless the existence of people, trying to mask the perspectives and decisions of your lifetime.