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i was so happy with his arm around me on that ***** couch and with the satisfaction of raising my mother’s blood pressure tucked away in the pit of my stomach
“your parents are going to hate me”
we bumped noses and it really hurt but the feeling of his soft lips against mine made up for it completely
his septum ring became interlaced between our mouths so i pulled away and fixed it for him and he just stared at me with the green eyes he apparently isn’t complimented on often which is a complete wonder to me and i don’t really know if i believe it
“he doesn’t look a thing like jesus but he talks like a gentleman like you imagined when you were young”
actually he has a beard like jesus but maybe it isn’t as scruffy and his hair isn’t long but he’s the most beautiful human being i’ve ever seen
his weight on my chest didn’t hurt as much as i thought it would but he grabbed my neck with more force than i expected him to and it caught me off guard but the kiss made up for it again the colors of the room faded as i closed my eyes and melted into him
i guess you could say we were kind of like fondue because we both became puddles of human and love
but all puddles eventually dry up
It was October
He was inside me
I was crying.
 Oct 2014 Brielle O'Brien
calion
why are bathrooms
and t shirts and pants
gendered?

i am not a girl wearing
clothes, i am a human
wearing clothes.

i should be able
to wear what i please
and still be human.
Change;
Seasons change,
Just like people
I sit outside almost every day
And stare at the sky until it begins to change
Till the moon and the sky are both above the horizon
Until the sun disappears
And the blueness of the sky begins to turn purple
Till the orange glow of the sun is no longer present
And the chill of the night begins to wrap itself around people
Who are beginning to retreat from the pool into their houses
The sky grows dimmer
The stars are out; you can only see them if you're looking hard enough
Somebody once told me that people don't change,
I think they do
I think that everyone has different sides to them.
Like the seasons

I am winter:
I am cold, I am bitter, I make people miss the sun
I am depressing at times like the lack of vitamin D

I am spring:
I am learning to grow just like the flowers,
Sometimes all the hard labor to produce flowers turn out beautifully
But sometimes it's another failure leaving you wondering what mistake you made
I am many failure and still working my way to success

I am summer:
I am hot and sometimes raging
I create fires and sometimes destroy beautiful things
People have a love hate for me

I am fall:
I change like the leaves
Indicating an ending to something beautiful
but a beginning to a new chapter

I often hear people say "people don't change"
But I don't think anyone stays the same
Not yesterday or the day before, we're all constantly changing
Sometimes that's the saddest part about things-
They will never be what they once we're
Or maybe that's the best part,
It just depends on your perspective
I always said you felt like home
not like the home i grew up in of course

not like the one where after school i found my dad
half asleep
half sober
half alive
on the couch, hating himself

i always said your eyes looked like the stars
and it was a little cliche
but the stars made me feel safe
because of the night my dad hit my mom
for the first time
And i sat on the roof and cried to them

I always said you were like my bedroom
the one i would lock myself in when i was scared
maybe thats why i locked myself in you
I wish you didnt lose the key
 Aug 2014 Brielle O'Brien
ASB
you told me
about what you wanted
your future wedding dress,
future kitchen,
future kids to be like.
and I kept thinking
gods, let me be the one
to give it to you.

I never even wanted to get married,
never wanted any children, and
your imaginary kitchen is
positively hideous.
some people want the same things
out of life, but
we absolutely don't.
still, I could settle for a wedding
if it's you across the aisle;
and maybe I want kids, you know,
with your eyes, or at least
your heart, your grace, your forgiveness.
we'll talk about the kitchen.
look, I'm not gonna tell you
"I love you", not yet,
and I'm not writing you more songs,
and I am not wasting more words,
just these, just the once that tell you
whatever you want, it's yours,
if you'll still have me.
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