We are just friends now.  The fire in your eyes is now smoldering embers- fading to ashes as you move on and on and on and there are more girls and more girls and you're thriving off the thrill of the chase that you crave so badly and I'm still singing sad love songs when I'm alone and driving for miles and miles and miles on an empty highway... Aching for a nonexistent yesterday and shackling myself to my favorite memories to keep me from floating away.
I'm hanging on by a heartbeat.  The only thing that keeps me warm at night anymore is the thought of your lips on my neck and the softness, the gentleness of those little forehead kisses.
"It's the fire in your eyes."
****, I keep hearing this.  I can't escape you and your indifference cuts me to the core.  I can't stand a plain goodbye.  I've never been good with ordinary- and what is so puzzling is that I know you are so far from it that you could never be okay with this...typicalness.
It was, we were
Always more that that.
Please tell me you need me like I need you.  There is no certainty involved in existence, I know, but I can hardly get used to these bones and these lungs and this heartbeat that thumps for you ever so steadily in my chest.  You ruin me in the way I suppose I always hoped to be ruined.

It's only love
It's only loss    
It only hurts for a second and then
It's over and
You're gone and I'm free
To feel all the feelings
I could have never felt
With you by my side.

I pray that
This night within me
Will surrender
To the vibrant brilliance of morning
And the sun will swallow me up
At last

I want to hold your hand
And touch your face
And tell you all the reasons why I know you better than you know yourself

So, maybe she'll give you everything she has on the first date
But she will never know
About the way you twitch in your sleep
Or that you brush your teeth in the shower
She can't remember
When we were wild children in the rain
Or the time we jumped that bridge on a fearless whim
She won't understand
Our made-up, secret language
Or that you wear mismatched socks because no one sees them anyways

So, maybe she's easy
A prize to be won
But she will never know you like I do
I promise

It's 1:51 a.m. and nothing feels real
I want to be back- back in his bed
He was pulling me closer
His fingertips groping for more of me, more of me...
To one there was only the other.
We moved and touched without thinking
Using only our hands and our passion to guide each other through the dark
I want to be back- back on his dresser
His eyes glued to me as I whispered drunken nonsense
"You're beautiful," he said. "Look at you."
"I hate you," I slurred between kisses
I was talking too much...truth poured from my lips like a dam that had finally been broken
"I hate myself too."
And his eyes saddened, contrasting strangely with that crooked smile that beamed just as brightly
"Somehow you're falling for me..."
I inhaled and felt my lungs swell with everything that he was
Felt his hot breath stiff with alcohol as he chuckled and leaned in again
It is all so blurry
I want to be back- back in his arms
Feel it all again
And again
Because he never called
And he's probably awake now
Thinking about a girl who isn't me
I don't want to ever
Ever
Forget
The reason I wasted so much time basking in the glow of his evasive memory
Or why it is now 2:17 a.m. and I still can't sleep
Because maybe I'm afraid that by the time I wake up
We will have drifted further apart

Golf cart rides and
Watermelon rinds and
A driveway kiss and
Sunshiney bliss and
Catching grapes in your mouth
A1A, heading south
Bare feet
Eyes meet
Doing cartwheels on the beach
Singing to the radio,
Solo cups
Tangled up
Building fires by the sea
Forever, him and me