In the depths of mind

Recollection becomes found

Revolution makes no sound

Hope only a handful find

Strike a pose

Only a certain few knows

Walk what you smoke

Spray to clean,

Don't choke

Ripped cloak shows you don't care

Hands shield shape

Shows another perspective scared

All those things you fake

How many bodies do you take?

Too bad there isn't photoshop
for your once beautiful heart.

To have a burning

To show no compassion

From tbe feeling of hurting

Or just a strategic mission

He's a ghost whisperer

Brings them back to life

A few tweaks of computer

He has a stellar vibe

He's just probably passing time

How to make it an even score

Never thought of mine

Just a desperate obnoxious *****

But I can blow it off fine

Would you like to see how much more?

But I look around no longer in view of line

And how about in store?

Yours has risen above the shine

So why still more make it sore?

Waiting for a final bind.

They have always
fascinated me.

Whether it was
the exotic colors,

Their ability to
show up everywhere,

The clumsiness of
their take off,

Or the peculiar noise
when they would sing
their known song.

Intrigued by this all,
what I really admire most is,

How they can stand
on just one foot
without the fear of falling.

he lived
to see the
glory day's of
my childlike heart.

he'd tear
it up only to
come back and fix it.

i ponder,
what would he
think if he could see
how high this
new and less abused
heart is flying?

i wouldn't know,
isn't it strange
how you're finally
loving yourself
after
losing something
that helped make
you who you are
today?

Am I dead?
Or is this one of those dreams,
Those horrible dreams,
That seem like they last forever?

If I am alive, why?
Why? If there is a God or whatever, something,
Somewhere, why have I been
Abandoned by everyone and everything I've ever know?
I've ever loved?

Stranded.

What is the lesson?
What is the point?

God give me a sign or I have to give up.
I can't do this anymore.

Please just let me die,
Being alive hurts too much.

As you should be
You should be proud
Proud of what you have done
Proud of how far
You have obviously made it
And everything
Every little thing I find
I am reminded of what I carelessly forgot

If I could
I would bleach my eyes
So they could forget
Everything they have seen
Except what they seen in you

If I could
I would rinse out
My mouth and my throat
To take away the taste
Of anything except
What I tasted with you

If I could
I would burn my skin
So new flesh
Would grow and only
Would it ever know your feel

And if I could
I would turn back time
With my feet and
Let everything be you
Let all I could have ever been
Be with you

I remember the majority
And I could spend my life
Begging at your moving feet
To be something else
To be proud of

Past love and
Decades of mistakes,
Nothing equals this
I have failed you in the most impurest of ways
I would give my life
To have a new one,
To have had you

He calls her
'Sweetheart',
and complements
her hair.

Maybe it was
a little wrong of me
to ask her so loudly.

But what can
I say?
Being hurt like that
causes me to
lash out so
tragically.

Sit her down.
Ask her if she'd like a cup of coffee.
Eleven creams, ten sugars,
handful of ice.
Ask her how she's been,
don't listen to a word she says.

Follow her wandering gaze,
tell her you don't hate her,
say it loud enough.
Say,

"I don't hate you.
In fact,
I can't bring myself to feel anything.
Life would be better
if you just died."

Try to wipe the smile
off of your face instead
the tears of her fallen grace.
Let reality settle in,
let it hit her
that this wasn't what
she expected to hear.

Tell her how she hurt you,
rub it in. Rub it into
the bone marrow of
all her half broken bones.

"You're not worth the time,
you're not worth a single day.
You should consider
ending it all.
Save some unfortunate and
unexpected soul the trouble
you bring with your fake smile."

Let her mind wander for miles,
let it really sink in.
You never wanted anything from her, you don't see
anything in her.

"I don't hate you,
I really don't.
I just wish I never
had met you."

And you get up.
You go, you walk out the door.
You've done it to her before.
But this time,
you know she won't be
coming back around
on her ugly knees,
bothering something
that means nothing.

You like to set things
up so nicely.
What's the matter, dear?
Hiding something behind
that persistent snear?
Coming off cold
and treating everyone
Indifferently.
It must be awfully lonesome
sitting atop that thrown.
Don't you know,
Everyone has their own crown?
Am I giving myself away?
Either way,
You will never bring me down.
Don't frown.
It's not nice to fall
short with the game
you helped create.

You ask me what I like
Your eyes, bright
And you can tell I'm shy
But I can't tell you why.

Royal blue and silver
Would send my spine a shiver
And quill my silent quiver

And I would pull your chair out
But my mind is full of doubt
Because I'm not sure how this all goes about

I'm not sure which side to stand
But you ask for my hand
And we're walking over sacred land
And we like the same kinds of bands

I want to seem worthwhile
So I contemplate my style
And I search through my minds file
While you tell me the heritage of your title

It's on the tip of my tongue
The days of when I was young
And I want to tell you the words I'd spun

But you tell me my eyes make your heart run
And all the things your family does for fun

And somehow
I want to talk about that
And remember
That it's in the past
Because the way your eyes look at mine has my mind
Wondering if something could finally last.

We could
run through the woods,
find vacant waterfalls;
Explore
the rocks and
wildflowers.
Then I'd wonder 'round
with my mouth,
exploring all the places
I'd memorize
that make you shiver.

We could
run away together,
wherever you want to.
Maybe
the city of an apple,
maybe
just another small town.

We could
get lost in a small
apartment,
walking down
Broadway Street.
Spending the nights
in cramped and
smoke filled places,
singing soft grunge
until you are found
for the star
I have noticed
that you are.

We could
cruise down the
Boulevards of Hollywood.
Your hand on my thigh,
the wind in my hair.
Smoking rolled up
cigarettes made of
the earth's green nectar,
feelin' like
I don't have to hide
behind my silly
disguise.

Just tell me all you
want to do,
and I will want to
do it too.
Everything,
only for you.

I'm not one for Syfy

And if you're wondering why

It's because ghosts with cellphones

Are foreign to the wondering eye

Lights flash about
A decade and too many
Mistakes too late

Even in Australia
Rainbow's stale and
Are thrown away

And Tommy,
He has a party to
Be the center of

While vacant laugh
Echoes in a lonely room
Of 'I told you so'

The lights are on,
I can see just fine.
If they were gone,
I still wouldn't be blind.

Periodically grind teeth
Shards along the ground
They no longer cut tough feet;
A mournful sound

Hands begin to shake,
You gave and you gave until
There was nothing left to take
The day will come for you to feel

You saw them low,
It was in the eyes
And a heart racing in tow
You dream of wholesome times

Shots are echoed
The blast was once comforting
No longer heard to be followed
In time, find belief in something

Like a phoenix from ash
You will be born anew
Survive every shattering crash,
You'll be standing in a new view

Hold your head up, love
Alone in your room
Your faith staying high above
Self medicate those old wounds

One day we'll be clean and dry
Our sins will not out live
We'll love without a try
Our time will come to self forgive.

I am self titled
In the matters of
Everything that is dark

I am whoever you think of
And I am absolutely none of them

Because people have their opinions
Of pinkys and lies,
The deceit and broken ties

But as strong as you might,
The views don't define me

So I cheers to you,
My fearless fantasy
For understanding how you
Have to love yourself

Cheers to my Speak Now
Because you can't let
Fear control your life

Cheers to Red
In the way I wish it was different
Because you were different

Cheers to nineteen eighty nine
For being a building block
Of everything to not do wrong

Cheers to my Reputation
For it doesn't define
Anything but what the
People of masses want to believe

And cheers to Me
The wonderful,
Unending piece of
Peasantry, worthless *******

You don't fit the look
Or think like others,
Multiple personality traits
And mental instability

But *******
You sure are ******* amazing

My mouth betrays
my less ugly heart
And my feet stray
Don't know where to take part

And you're high up
So high that you
Forget the one's you left behind
That were never enough

And I'm also high
Just passing some time
Enjoying another favorite ride
A quick supplement
To a heaven paradise

It was pinks and blues
And now it's just a use
Another form of abuse
To take comfort in
The pain I mindlessly
Decided to choose

Is it too much to ask to be
a dear friend and slap me in the face
and whisper a shout by saying,
"Dreaming away your life!"

unfortunately
i wont be packing my bags to leave
no matter what you
do to me.
i'm better
than that and now
i know i'm better
than you.
to judge is to
be innocent,
but do you think
what you do with
everyone's knowledge
makes you
silky clean?

With new teeth
And no wandering eye
I will be rebirthed
And have worth

Fear of death
is all it takes.
One last breath,
trying to pass another day.
In you,
I will stay.

Leaving trails
of long flaxen hair,
she scurries away and
wishes them fair
in the game she loves to play.

The trail leads back
to a room with
one vacant chair,
across the table she sits
with a vacant stare.

Hand fluctuates between
tapping nails on flat surface,
inhaling cancer to
sooth some comfort
and itching a scratch
too far down her back.

The walls lined with
crimson velvet,
they never collapse.
Each pump of blood,
they expand and
close in with lost content.

She runs her hand
through her soft hair,
she'll be bald by
the time he gets there.
She finds it worth it
when they finally take a stand.
Do a little dance
in the rhythm of their preference.

She cracks a smile,
rolls her eyes.
One of these days,
one of the hundred thousand strands
will lead a boy to hold her hand.

Someone to watch grow as a man.
Someone to help her learn to understand.
Someone to make life long vows.
Someone to show her how to
fix the weight in her brow.

I have
no choice but
to go searching,
looking for life in eyes
that watched me when I
was a careless teen.

I search but
I am never to touch
or speak where I
am not wanted.

You have grown
big and chiseled,
looking so dandy and
chipper.

I could ask
if life is being fair,
if you're finding
everything you wanted.

And you can tell.
Notification of
who viewed it last
probably, or
you just know because
it's what you wanted.

Having the one
who you spent time
pinning after but
turned out to be
so carelessly blind,
on the verge
of tears because
could that be
me with you?

Enjoying the sand,
the bright sun.
Could we have had
that same amount of fun?

Doing things without
remembering me,
I suffer from
being the
dumb
one.

I had a dream.
Loaded up a cold van,
drove miles and miles,
blistering sun left
arm uneven tan.
Blaring repeated tune,
your heart now beats
for a different moon.

I had a dream.
The kind where
I'm on the side of a road,
I yell like a forgotten toad.
I'm met with radio silence.
Eyes that never cared,
eyes filled with violence.

I had a dream
on the edge of an empty bed,
I rack my hands through
my stormy head.
The sunsets,
casts shadows through
blue tinted shade.
Deadly icy frost,
it's long shed.
Memories never lost.

Morning comes,
met with beautiful sunrises.
Parallel to the words
I tried to find behind
your timid, deadly eyes.

Strolling down the walk
under the blistering sun,
would I have been
good enough?

Showing me your
favorite spots,
eating late lunches
on the dock.
Would you have
held my hand?

Late night talking
in the cooling summer breeze,
how is it that I
still find reason
to daydream all these
pointless dreams?

You look
fiercly new and ultimately
something akin to
worthwhile,
like you could have been
the best place
to have called
home.

It's funny how
at the bottom of the
pages here begin with
'The End'
and at the top it's
'The Start'
I wonder when
I'll stop writing
about you,
and begin writing
about him.
Which one do
you think I'll
end with talking
about?