you don't have a home
you create a home inside of others
you built a home in me, you made me your home
to you home was wherever i was
in order to build a home you need an empty space
if theres no empty space you have to destroy, abolish, demolish everything in sight
[why so selfish?]
but i didn't mind
i let you destroy every part of my being
i let you build a home inside me
i let you replace my memories with lovely memories of us in that home
you never gave me the key to the front door
you knew my trembling hands could never pick the lock
the door was locked for a day
a week
a month
my heart pounds, my hands shake
[ youre gone, youre gone, i need to find you, you need the key, i need you]
my hands begin to feel weak
i fall to my knees
my heart beats faster
[i cant catch up]
you're gone
my ribs are bruised
my knuckles are sore
her home is an abandoned building
my soul is a ghost town

So high that you can't really tell
where your body is
and what the floor feels like
a type of drug that runs through my veins like oxygen
that I readily injected
but this drug kept me in a sane place
where I could focus and function
I could be with my friends
and I could live my life while letting you live yours
but as soon as I stopped
I felt reality crashing into me
and what I found left me breathless
my heart started beating
the shattered pieces trying to meld together
that continued to cut into my lungs
Denial was so ready at my fingertips
and I could slip away so easily
and pretend for another day
so I did
again and again
until my tolerance was growing
and soon
I was immune
only left to see
reality for what it was
and all I can think is
*****

I always told you i dont know what i did to deserve you,
And maybe i didnt deserve you.
But i still love you like theres no tomorrow
Maybe you just came along to show me life was worth living,
Indeed it was after i met you
[emphasis on after]
But it means nothing without you.
Ever since i met you ive beaten myself up over the times i wasnt there for you.
They asked me to describe you and all i could think of was the warmth of your hugs and the sound of your voice,
The way you put up a brave front all the time,
Your inner child,
Your giggle and your smile,
They asked me if i like to go sight-seeing,
But all i could think of is how your eyes shine like the full moon,
how your hugs make me feel like im at the top of the highest mountain
So yes i do like sight seeing
They asked me once if i like to swim
And all i can think of is how your voice makes me feel like im floating in the ocean.
So yes i do like swimming.
My love for you is like numbers
Never ending
Infinite
All i want you to know is that i spend most of my time thinking about you
Hoping we'd be thinking of the same thing
So that our thoughts would meet
Right now im thinking of the ocean
(I hope you are too)
Our thoughts could cross paths at the ocean
(Maybe not)
I will always think to myself
'You'd love this, i wish you were here'
Because everything beautiful makes me sigh,
Sigh because as beautiful as it is it doesn't compare to your beauty
You're stubborn and im hot headed
You're insane and i love you