honest art
that's what I wanna see
from you
from me
expectations are high
(hell, so am I)
want to be as big as my dreams
wanna flow out my creativity like a stream
make you feel like I'm make believe
(but it's only in isolation that can be acheived)
want everyone to distantly respect me
(and I wonder why I'm ******* lonely?)
I'm a contradiction
consistent and willingly
but most times without thinking...
these new lights are blinding
(not when I'm driving)
(but **** lately has been slick)
crying gets old quick
but it sure feels good
and I don't cry enough
I get told I should ...
more more more
bored bored bored

Tonight,
I am manic.

A vast new world,
A different taste
From my dysphoria
From my fears
From my anguish.

I am hyper,
Hyper-active,
Hyper sensitive.

I twirl and flounce
All around
All around you.

I can be brighter
Than the sunset
And lighter
Than the stars,

But this isn't that.

This is random giggles
Taking my medication late
And cooking too much
Talking too much
Thinking too fast and too much
All at once.

This is reckless behavior,
Heightened *** drive,
But it's a back-and-forth,
Because my *** drive doesn't function
Without you.
It's a to-and-fro because you keep me in check,
You keep me at more of a balance
Than I had been.

But the mania
Still poisons
My mind.

a runway model
in a cornfield

/ the stone a short film on snowfall

VVe vvrite words
to fill in the emptiness
as if they vvere concrete patches
for neglected sidevvalks
that nobody vvalks on
Carry on
D A R K  poets
Toss that alphabet
tovvards my shovel
let me bury it
forever

those chances you wish you'd taken
wish I woulda been bolder
less cold-
-er, is that possible for me to do?
I've got walls made of iron and ice
and I never thought twice
that it'd leave me swimming
regret pools up in lost chances
lost moments of boldness
lost moments of warmness
could have experienced your soul
could have hurt myself when I saw it was foul
didn't even let myself find out
didn't even let ourselves melt down
into each other
maybe we could have another
maybe it's all lost in blurry summers
maybe I gotta get over myself
feeling like you'd still give a ****
why do I even give a ****,
cause I wanna feel good?
or because now I would
could
should
have