Watch me pick pieces
Cardiac geometry
Repair rut you ripped

After years of tears
Posing as pointless pity
Dug despair a grave

one day
i might forget
the things you did
to me

and one day
i might not hate you
anymore

but when that day comes
i’m afraid
i might love you
all over again

a.g

under foot
fertilizer whispers of fallen leaves
     not blackened or auburned
       by sweat or toil

light rests buried under compact soil
     silent and dense
     cold and unstirred
                                       forecasting autumn

waking dreams are ground into dust
and tossed to stoic winds

pillars stand unmoved by clocks
          tradition and duty
          tradition and duty
          tradition and duty
                           swing hands in unceasing circles
do not let your light be fodder

  under foot
fertilizer whispers of fallen leaves
     as stars stare holes into your black

I'm afraid of failure
Of becoming a burden
But above all, I'm afraid
Of hurting the ones I love
And ending up alone...

Yet I'm here, I've shown
In the face of my demons
And screamed at them
That they'll never take
The very best of me

So I may not be fearless
I'm quite fine with that
For I'm brave

All of my life I have had a problem with keeping eye contact.

They say eyes are the mirror of the soul.

The only times I don't have a problem is when I am enraged with someone.

It was so bad when I was a child that I could not even watch the news on TV, as I thought the newsreader was looking at me.

Deep shame was the cause.

Thanks Dad.

FAT
YOUR UGUY
YOUR BEAITHFUL
YOUR CRYNG
YOUR SMLING
YOUR SAD
YOUR HAPPY
YOUR DEPRESSED
NAME CALLING
BEING BULLIED
YOUR HIDING
WANTING TO STAY INSIDE
YOUR ANXIETY  WAKENS
YOU TRY PILLS TO LOSE THE WEIGHT
JUST REMEMBER YOU ARE ALONE
FOR IAM TO A BIGGER WOMAN WHO DEALS WITH THESE THINGS ALL THE TIME

MEMORIES
PICTURES
TIME
LOVE
HATE
PAIN
EMOTIONS
HAPPY
SAD
ANGERY
S­PENDING
SILENCE
DANCE
HOME
FAMILY
FRIENDS
WEDDING
FURNAL
BIRTH
DE­ATH

LIFE
YOUR BORN
MEET YOUR FAMILY
BECOME FRIENDS
TO HAVE CHILDREN
WORK FOR MONEY
LOVE MARRIAGE
FEEL HEARTACHE
SAD SOMETIMES
ALWAYS HAPPY
STRUGGLE TO HATE
DEATH IN TIME