waking up every morning i feel like nothing
going to bed every night i feel like nothing
every hour in between
no matter how many or how few
i feel like nothing
i feel like even at the very core of my being
i am nothing
that where my heart should be beating warmth
there is nothing
nothing but an empty chill
a nothingness that spreads to every fibre of my being
and to the entire fabric of my existence
but
when i got to be with you
it was easy and enticing
to
feel
like
e v e r y t h i n g
Y O U
made me feel like i was everything
t o   y o u
like i was the sun you opened your eyes to
like i was the stars you searched for yourself in
like i was every breath you took in between the two
when i was with you
and only then
did i feel like maybe
just maybe
i could be everything

i have nothing new to say
i am the same tv static as yesterday
watch me fail to form a single sentence
watch me become a ball of fuzzy feelings
watch me as others look to me annoyed
watch me as others give up and leave me
watch me when no one else will
watch me
even when i stay the same tv static as yesterday

Time flies.
In the winds of your thoughts.       In the skies of your memories.

i don't know why i am the way i am
i don't know why i'm not hungry
i don't know why i can't sleep
or can't stop sleeping
i don't know why i feel like i'm already dead
or am better off so

did i fall or throw myself into the abyss?
did i **** myself or finally become a hurricane?
a beautiful storm catapulting toward the main land
destroying everything in my path
including the cement
and finally fizzling out
fizzling out like a firework
loud and eye-catching
catching the eyes of passers-by
and camera lens
before my foot goes over the edge
i ask myself
would my dad think it was an accident?
would my mother?
or brothers
or sister
or friends
would they think it was an accident?
or would they know
would they know i've been struggling to stay afloat
would they love my shattered corpse
or memories of what i was before the storm began to form