Drifting slowly
Dreaming silently
Dark and empty
Nuzzled in nothingness
Only to be violently pulled back by a feeling so real
Burning
Pulsing
My eyes snap open
Panic skips my heart
Scared
Terrified
All at once
Flying through time
I feel my scars
Oozing hot and painful
Trickling and tickling
Down my calf
Into my shoe
Choking on the lump of fear
In my throat
Reaching trembling fingers
To feel
But
....
Revealing a clean hand
Dry bumps
Scar tissues
From years ago
Remain
But they are still alive
And they speak to me
In memories that linger
Testing
Taunting
Bickering
Live nightmares
Ghost blood
Drips
Gush
And even though
My fingers can't see
My mind can feel
Warm
Cold
Shivers
Frighting
Painful
A clean hand
Reveals no blood
But still
The sensation stays
Hot invisible streaks
Whisper on my skin
My eyes deceive me
How can I feel
What I cannot see
Eye lids close
Head falls back
Quiet
Listening to the ghosts
Because they are real
Powerful
More real than most things
They remind me of things
Feelings
Desires
Hatred
Failed attempts
So I give in
And let the invasion
Sink in
Absorbing
Painful
Flashbacks
Lost
Taken away
Traveling through chaotic time
Dizzy
Light headed
Images of disaster
It's dark in here
In my head
I'm lost
In my head
I'm trapped
In my head
Ghosts
Please unhand me
I've seen enough
I've been through enough
Let me move on
I wish not to be reminded
I like my blood inside my body
Get out of my head
Quit snaking through my veins
I'm over that
I'm done with it
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Leave me alone

That was back in the time when the clothes line cried with the weight of our young ways
and mother's busy washing days
that left us bright and clean
can't believe I was there and have been
many seasons since then.

Reasons I had for turning bad washed away
in mums washing day and on the line
drying out fine in the sun.

Son that I am and a man for all that
I go back to the garden where drip dry's are dripping
and Sarah's still skipping
where I strip off pretending yet
glad that the ending has come
Mum stands there gleaming bright
an advert for 'PERSIL' white
hands chapped but that's alright
she doesn't seem to mind.

And mindful of all this
I give mum a kiss and tell her I love her
and glad that she cared for me
when I had not dared to see
any tomorrow.
I borrow from time to time a bit out of history
where melancholy plays a much tighter tune
and soon
I'll be there where I should have been
in the washing so bright and clean
and this time I know that I mean
it.

I finally figured out why you don't want me.
You don't think I'm good enough for you
You've got me starting to really believe it.
I never thought a guy could do that to my mental health.

And I've been too busy wondering why we're not together
that I haven't had the time to notice
that being in love with you
is making me hate myself.

I don't know
Things just don't go
The things seem so
So
I don't know
I just don't know

Take me by the hand
Yeah
Please just lead the way
I'm not one for
Confrontation
Elation
However
Is what I seek
Always
Anyways
All ways

You don't smoke and I don't smoke
but sometimes I have dreams of sitting on a tree branch in a faux leather jacket
while you sit beside me and twirl my hair around your fingers
my eyeliner smeared the way you like it
black nails and black lips, the black death sits between my lips,
don't even worry about a thing,
I'll die anyway.

Life passes through when im hear with out you,
I'm on a totaly different side beyond the out,
hearin all the ghetto my new ***** gotta dead bro,
I've bin with all these red rags mind graffiti sketched tags,
So I miss my girl my sister,
My story tellin listener
my main true,
my blessed  boo,
seen my life she has the real clue,
when I got hit right there stuck wit me,
step dad did uncalled for beatin, cant help me gettin eatin
when we got caught callit go book free,
played a role got your back,
look forward. erased the wack.
no mom,
I gotta stoney,
didn't lisson always roming,
growin with my one friend never was a loney
one two I got you,
three four I'm out the door
five six, new home cant fix,
seven eight, I lost my great,      (hailey)
nine ten, I'll be home when?.
when I got In foster so close I could of lost her
your my completion I'm your creation,..
ying to the yang
the big,
the loud,
The shoot the bang.
we never for the reppin but we ain't afraid to steppin,
got our own gang ,
me and hailey togetha daily,
our name no shame same heart from thee start
aimin for big,
bullseye I'm the dart
walk our own way,
head up with no say,
got my noes in the sky cause you know I be high,.
finger In the air for the ******* that stare,
why the ******* stalkin?,
cause you scared to be talkin,...
make out my way before i get cray
best get to walkin before I get sockin.
               whatever I'm a youngin,
I'm blessed that I hung in,

Written   By   Jesse   Mckush   Dedicated  For   Hailey   *Haglund

Dam I need a blunt,
can't put up with this ****,
I'm fealin a new person
My heart just feals like cursin...

I've bin hear,
in this new home,
sober a new rome,
If i had my shear ****
you'd sure  would hear a cheer song.
I'd feal you out so happy,
have my words churned out to sappy?.
I'm way out,
    I'm not burned,
I get it I sure learned
far out mars rover,
spot me out like your'e lucky clover,
out in a big croud
I'm rare like a drout  cloud,
like I said,
I miss my bed,
eatin all day,
    freakin all may,
Give it a doobie a precious ****** ruby
Not lit Not fit
can-I-Just-quit?.

How bout a bubble and a bowl,?
no trouble nore parol,
you know i'm slick won't get in no ****,
just help a ***** out and ******* a hit.
  I love my jane we plan to mary
when she's gone my world gets scary..
So be it if i'm sketchy,
I'm posted monalisa ,
see me on the wall,
touch me and I'll fall,
  trust I see it all,
you walk right out the door and leave me on this floor,
I've seen it as it's low thats why I tend to flow,
Best of what I know is what minds like to show..
don't come back that lock is latched,
   holdin steady bit attatched,
I need a hook to hold me steady.
some one strong that will be ready,