you made me say sorry
every single day.
you made me want to change.
you should have been building me up,
but you tore me down.
now i'm sitting in a pile of debris
wondering whether to try and piece this back together,
or call an architect to rebuild.

the trees are bare,
but the sun shines--
however faintly.
grass will freeze, and when the frost melts
it will be muddy.
remember that you will walk on firm ground again--
soon.

it's starting to feel like you only trust the people you shouldn't. people hurt people, and they don't care. some just take the trust they are given and they use it to do horrible things. i'm trying to convince myself that these are just bad people, but why are there so ******* many of them? you can't even cry, because you're so angry, and part of you was just waiting for it to fall apart. violence won't help, because that doesn't ever hurt the demons inside of you. you feel sick, but throwing up doesn't help, because there is always more pain and confusion that you just can't expel. you can't look them in the eye because you're scared that a small part of you will forgive them, and this will convince the rest of you to do the same. and you don't want to. *NOT THIS TIME

porcelain pieces of me were scattered,
you somehow found them all.
when you pieced them back together,
did you confuse my heart and skull?

have you tried to forget the way i said, "forever?"

your eyes melted hearts,
your words fostered hope.
all the times you saved us,
you were tying your own rope.
did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
and was it hard to get back in?