We sat together, but not like
Ever before.
Our Lady Peace on repeat.
I'd written a post for Facebook
About us being over.
Thanking.
Stating that we'd agreed
(Half a truth)
To end it.

I'd helped her write one too,
And counting down from three,
We posted.
Changed our statuses from In a
Relationship to blank.
Then stood up and
Thanked into each other's
Last embrace.

Flag up as we went down.
No loud voices,
Only this mutual sorrow
And chocked sighs.
It was done.

Something inside us both looked
Up and asked
What the Hell just happened?  
I heard angels moan no...
I felt Earth shiver
At our death.

She'd asked her friend later
If ending it in such grace was
A common thing.
"Girl, you just ended your first
Adult relationship."

And she did. With class.
Tears of gratitude
For years of passion and
Friendship, and the music.

*We are, we are all innocent.
We are all innocent.
We are.
We are.

I wish I was the one holding all the cards
     Wish I could make him feel this way
               Queasy
                       Uneasy
                                Wanna know what happens next.
It's not fair he has this effect
     Able to reflect
               Any feelings I send his way
His signals are mixed
      He's fixed
               into this idea that nothing is ever real
I know he's wrong
         His feelings are strong
               "Monogamy isn't possible
The sad truth of life
         husband and wife
                  is a myth."

College is a cancer clinic.
At this university, you either live long enough to die,
or die until you want to live.
Kids drag backpacks like bags of morphine,
and are attached to their planners like they are their heart monitors.
You do your own chemotherapy,
as you poison yourself with debt,
and Friday night nickel shots.

I've chased sanity down
with whiskey and ice.
It has been months
since I have fallen asleep sober,
and even longer
since a smile lasted longer
than an ******
or new haircut.

I've come back to rooms
of coasters and candles.
They're mowing lawns
and discussing old events
to renew their youth.
I cannot see past
their prescriptions and remedies
for a tired mind.

I've abandoned meditation
for pills and the limelight.
Old friends lend jokes
and out-dated platitudes,
disclosing pity in mobile apps
and reptilian notions of survival.
Cap and gown,
they congratulate my heart rate.

I've retired from hopes
of fame and recognition,
and now all I want
is to find some time to sleep.
There is no privacy
in this fish-bowl existence,
and there is no piety left
in all that I have strewn.

I take a walk into the parkour graveyard,
looking for Polish dealers and cellphone halos.
I heard Thoth resides in sobriety,
but words fail me
whenever you are near.

I let my tongue run in endless stutters,
disguising 'I love you' as some off-hand request.
I could take you to dinner,
I could show you a longing
without the need for ***.

This late-night food has lost its flavour.
This ******* never picked up.
All that is left is to dial these numbers,
and wait by the window
for any car but yours.

Let's take a walk to the railway bridge.
We'll smoke a joint by the open forest.
You'll push your breath into mine,
make me high,
and forget why I ever
felt so low.