It felt as if
my heart burst through
my chest and shined
with the brightest colors
like a blazing sunrise.

I couldn't breath
because the feeling
weighed so heavily
on my chest
I couldn't bear it.

So I ran,
I ran away from
the cause of all
my pain
that was created.

Your love, I couldn't bear it.

I don't want to write
about the aches and pains,
the light-as-a-feather feeling
of love anymore
because they aren't
just some words you
write on paper,
they're the feelings
left from the one
you thought was the one
and they weren't
and I don't want that anymore.

There are things that I love more than anything in the world:
the smell of the rain on pavement,
the sound of crunching autumn leaves,
watching a blizzard while sitting by the fireplace.
But most of all, my favorite thing was how you used to
hold me and whisper "I love you" in my ear.

I'm in love with a mother's son
with brown hair and brown eyes
with a husk in his voice
and gently pursed lips
in just a t-shirt and blue jeans.

Now, you see, it's been years
since we've spoken or even seen each other
but I can still remember what it feels like to
touch the stubble on his face
and feel his fingers interlaced with mine.

I've been trying to come to terms
with the way life is --
its ups and downs
twists and turns
and all the spaces in between
that I can't control --
and I have no idea whether to
accept that this is the way
life is or find a way to
change me.

To the ones who
don't see the light
and feel the demons
beneath your skin,
I pray that one day
you will feel the brightness
that comes from happiness
and you can break the chains
that bind you
because why do others
deserve the light
when all you see is darkness?

I would rather feel
the harsh sting from your silence
than nothing at all.