I met him on a subway.
and when I saw him it wasn’t those cliche looks.
it was just something I never felt before.

I ran onto the subway, leading me to 42nd Street, it was crowded for a Wednesday.
I got in at the last second and let my air sigh of our my mouth louder than I wanted it to and I looked around self consciously seeing if anyone heard me.

then I saw him.

and I wish I took a gasp of air before I looked into his ******* eyes because I found myself not able to take another breath.
he was perfect, just simply perfect.
he had his earphones in (listening to a song I will never know)
iPhone in one hand, a light brown backpack on his back, and an easy wardrobe of faded jeans and a black t-shirt.
he was simply perfect.
and when I thought that he couldn’t be anymore amazing, he smiled at me.
not one if those “hey stranger” smiles but a “hey I’ve known you for a long time” smile. and maybe I’m looking too into it or I’m just imagining an angel in one of these “life crisis” moments. but it didn’t matter because I was here to see him I was here to see him breathe and think and watch him so normally but I just couldn’t help but feel like it was the most fascinating moment of my entire existence.
I wanted to speak to him, I wanted to hear his voice, his name, his favorite song.
everything.
just every single thing about him, I didn’t even know this guy and I was already in love with him!
is that even possible? to be in love with a complete stranger?

I was ****** out of my thoughts when the subway halted suddenly.
my grip tightened on the metal bar filled with every germ I could remotely think of.
the doors whooshed open as he stood up from his seat and started walking over to the door. No!
I didn’t want him to leave just yet.
I wasn’t even allowed to take him in yet, I wasn’t able to understand him and how his heart works.
a burst of feeling erupted in my body and every fiber was telling me to do something.
but I did nothing.
he simply grazed my shoulder and whispered a gentle sorry in my ear.
and I’m still trying to figure out if the apology was for barely bumping into me or for not asking what my name was

I refuse to forget...

A woman who was judged
and rewarded false ownership
for they
will never understand
the purpose of your
short presence
like I

Golden ribbon lines the room,
Sweeping eyes, impending doom,
Plastic smiles light the way

Clinking glasses, set them down,
Making jokes, inducing frowns,
Everyone's an enemy

Awaiting that one special face,
I walk around in somewhat haste,
Glancing around secretively

I close my eyes and count, one two,
Not knowing you're across the room,
It feels as if I'm lost at sea

Three and four, opened the door,
Five and six, black shoes go click,
Voices around chat mindlessly

Seven, eight, surrounded space,
Nine and ten, my eyes open,
You're still hidden, and so I plea

Ever-changing eyes seek me out,
Learned my tells, know me throughout,
I wonder now where can you be?

Till I see your smiling face,
Walking slow, a tortured pace,
Finally, you're here with me

Dresses and suits rule the pack,
A sea of jewels laced through with black,
Let's glide about like royalty

Chatting, charming as we go,
Through these crowds, I hope you know,
I'm wearing this smile for only you

Secret looks and hidden smirks,
Make this night one of the first,
It's time to float comfortably

Home again, it's nice to say,
Tonight was a sweet escape,
Did I say you looked august?

Leaving now, those playful eyes,
One last smile, it will suffice,
I shake my head, you're enchanting

{ n.j }

i once had a friend

we would talk philosophy and things of deep matter

it never felt depressing talking of old ways

invigorating.

i remember in between these conversations we would draw together and laugh at how horrible we both were.

you took my arm once and we went around to look at chalk art.

i looked at you for a moment and the next you were gone.

old souls intertwined.

we were perfect.

i was nervous for what could be of us.

and you are gone.

forced out of my own hand

twisted bent into a new identity one you can make out of a new location.

i never said goodbye.

i couldnt.

She was only sixteen,

Yet her mind wandered about the galaxies like no other beings can do. She recognized every little details on the fireballs and the faraway stars when no other beings can. She carved the rocks and shaped them like the stars of the milky way. With different kind of hues coloured the atmosphere, she breathed in them all.
She danced her way around Jupiter and hopped on the rings of Saturn and danced like it was her first dance with her groom on her wedding day. She shined like how any other stars would shine. With all her might she pushed herself back to earth like a falling star.And just at the balcony of the house on the corner of that street,
                  a little boy wished upon her.
He wished upon a wishing star. He looked up to her. He told her his worries.

She was only sixteen,

but her heart felt every little emotions any hearts can and can't feel. She felt things that could forever scar her heart. She felt despair,rage,embarrassed,annoyed,betrayed,hurt,
                 ­      but also she was inspired,she felt joy,proud,strong and she loved.
The miseries she felt upon being neglect, she dig a hole and found a little dusty emotion in the corner of her heart....hope. She hold onto it,treat it like a child and there faith came up to her and fall in love with hope. She's stronger than any other beings can be as faith and hope unites.

She was only sixteen,

yet she shut her eyes and flee to Neverland with Peter Pan.
                             "Give me your hands" he whispered.
           "The second star to the right,and straight 'till morning" he said. He held her hands and off they went with fairy dusts from Tinker Bell stuck on their icy cold lashes.
To join him and the lost boys.
To be the first lost girl.
To never grow up as the world gets more beastly by minutes.
To forever have a childlike mind and a childlike body.
To escape from the harsh reality and enter the world of immortality where fairies and wisps flew by like it's a normal day for grocery shopping.

She was only sixteen,

but she had hurdled through life with things that the beings in The Wizard of Oz lacks. She tricked manipulators with her wisdom,she showed her betrayers how huge of a heart she has.
She forgives,
       She forgets.
She braved herself through all the horrendous obstacles she had to face. Life hit her,hard and just when she got up it kicked her in the stomach and let her bleed. But she saw things differently. She accepted the kick and let all the negativity in her lungs escaped and let all the positive vibes entered her.
With hands as small as an elf's,she opened it and let everything get caught in her hands. Like the net of a fisherman,not everything great gets trapped. But when he's blessed with a huge fortune,big fishes came to him.
           The thorns,the sadness,the euphoria...
She accepted everything and smiled. "Thank you" she said everytime.

She was only sixteen,

but she's already a beautiful aurora herself.

She's the young girl
Whom I know
That has
The velvety look
In the eyes
But unchangeable
On the inside.
Whenever any
Barriers come
In her way
She patch them up
Get it done
Fearlessly without
Any hesitation.
All of the
Callous sayings
Blowing away
Towards her
Might disenchant
Her but
She stands up
And support herself.
She is a well-built
Girl with a
Powerful faith
And conviction.
Maybe she is
A solitary girl
Having fun
In her own world
But she justly
Be worthy to
Be loved.
Each and every one
Take a slight
Moment to stretch
An attention
And be thankful
For having an
Atypical flower
Rising in the beds
Of roses.

m.i