Bottled up inside
Are the things I never said,
The feelings that I hide,
The lines you never read

You can see it in my eyes,
Read it on my face,
Trapped inside are lies,
Of the past I can't replace

With memories that linger,
And won't seem to go away,
Why can't I be happier?
Today’s a brand new day

Yesterdays are over
Even though the hurting is not,
Nothing lasts forever,
I must cherish what I've got

Don't take my love for granted,
For soon it will be gone,
All you've ever wanted,
Of the love you thought you won

The feelings I have now
Won’t disappear overnight,
But somehow, someway everything will be alright

I'm leaving now
To slay the foe
Fight my battles
High and low

I'm leaving parents
Hear me go
Please wish me luck today

I've grown my wings, I want to fly
Seize my victories where they lie
I'm going guys, but please don't cry
Just let me find my way

I want to see, and touch, and hear,
Though there are dangers, thoughts, and fears,
I'll smile my smiles, and wipe my tears
Please let me speak my say

I'm off to find, my world, my dreams,
Carve my niche, sew my seams
Remember as I sail my seas,
I'll love you all the way

Indeed
We had fun,
Teasing and imagining,
About the shadowy,
Time to come.
Indeed
I feel adored,
Compliments and vivid hopes,
Personally for me,
Only me.
Indeed
I feel accompanied,
Because you said,
You never wanted,
Me to be needy.

m.i

The music that’s been formed by his voice
Is lifting my body to the sky
Merging with the carnation pink clouds.
As my body sways within the northern lights
Dusts from the fairies of the north
Brightly gleam my face.
Stars are seducing us
And formed a line
Of a sensational beauty.
Light danced on the waves
Of the arctic oceans as they did
In his eyes.
His hands moved with feelings,
In emotion.
We floated among the words
That bounced between us.
Two drops of Jupiter
Looked at me in a way so heavenly
Oh darling ,let me float with you.

Sometimes the poem
doesn't want to come;
it hides from the poet
like a playful cat
who has run
under the house
& lurks among slugs,
roots, spiders' eyes,
ledge so long out of the sun
that it is dank
with the breath of the Troll King.

Sometimes the poem
darts away
like a coy lover
who is afraid of being possessed,
of feeling too much,
of losing his essential
loneliness-which he calls
freedom.

Sometimes the poem
can't requite
the poet's passion.

The poem is a dance
between poet & poem,
but sometimes the poem
just won't dance
and lurks on the sidelines
tapping its feet-
iambs, trochees-
out of step with the music
of your mariachi band.

If the poem won't come,
I say: sneak up on it.
Pretend you don't care.
Sit in your chair
reading Shakespeare, Neruda,
immortal Emily
and let yourself flow
into their music.

Go to the kitchen
and start peeling onions
for homemade sugo.

Before you know it,
the poem will be crying
as your ripe tomatoes
bubble away
with inspiration.

When the whole house is filled
with the tender tomato aroma,
start kneading the pasta.

As you rock
over the damp sensuous dough,
making it bend to your will,
as you make love to this manna
of flour and water,
the poem will get hungry
and come
just like a cat
coming home
when you least
expect her.

I wish i was interesting
I wish i could sing beautifully in front of my friends
I wish i know how to dance, be it ballet or hiphop
I wish i can be beautiful without even trying
I wish i wasn't so scared to speak for myself
I wish i could draw or perhaps paint
I wish i was fearless, not afraid to be whoever i want
I wish people love me, the way i love them
I wish i wasn't so clumsy, in life and love
I wish i am attractive enough for boys to notice me
I wish someone could give me a tight hug now
I wish i get to meet my soulmate soon
I wish my friends understand how hard my life is
I wish my family doesn't pressure me anymore

I wish for alot of things
But none of them came true.

Jealousy is a prison,
That encloses you in shackles,
And locks you in a room.
The lack of trust flows through my veins like adrenaline as I struggle to break free;
I slam my head against the brick walls hoping someone will hear me.
I cry for help but it's like screaming with your mouth closed,
As I drown in my thoughts, and overthink my misery.
The prison walls grow tighter around me and I begin to close my eyes,
As I pray for the days where I can see the light.
Jealousy is something that can tear you apart.
And for me, it's a prison I can't get out of.
I was born without the ability to trust,
So I weep to myself hoping I will get out.

I've been losing a lot of weight recently, and I fully understand why.
It's not because I feel like my stomach's to big, or there's to much fat on my thighs...

It's because I don't eat my lunch-- no this isn't a plea for help.
All this is is a chance for someone to explore my mental health.

The lunch bell rings and I trudge my way to the cafeteria day by day.
Head straight to the line, grab my sandwich, milk and head on my way.

Beeline to the seat before anyone notices me.
Sit down, take one bite and then I start to see.

I can't help but look around when I'm sitting there all alone.
Or feel the stares back at me as if I'm sitting in the danger zone.

You see nobody pays much attention when you're with a clique or a group,
but the moment no one is with you, all heads turn as if they're stuck on a loop.

And when you're like me- battling with social anxiety,
Every stare can feel like a dagger, you begin to feel each eye as if you were all that mattered.

After maybe one bite of my lunch I'd get up quickly, toss away my tray and leave.
Head bowed down hoping that no one still notices me.

But leaving the cafeteria I find myself back on a battle ground
For I still have to sit in silence, waiting for the lunch bell to sound.

When you go through three weeks like this, something begins to catch your eye.
You're no longer filled out, every breath becomes a sigh.

But even then you know you still can't help yourself
You're stuck in a battle, get away from the stares or help your health.