Today, a simple day
I like to start my day with someone gentle and sweet,
Who only needs a little extra sleep
Who I’ll be extra quiet for when I zip my things

Fluttering in and out of sleep, I can’t predict when you finally speak
                        “Are you going on a walk?”
                        “Not yet, darling.”

Sleep, darling.

---

Yesterday, you held me when I cried
And looked at me in a way that made me
Want to kiss you, wondering when
I’ll stop being so scared

I’ll keep thinking of the way
You looked at me and the way
I had to look away, scared
Of what I’d do

Too many thoughts and the wrong state of mind kept me from loving you yesterday.

---

Today, you told me you dreamt
Of kissing, something vague and hazy enough
To remind me not to tell you
That I dreamt the same last night.

Between my usual fevered dreams, there you were.

---

I think I’ll be OK.
Nothing to repent for.
No shame left to carry.

the feats of butterflies! something of reckoning.
watch it part the sea of still bodies
linger above this shiny world, relentless wings
bated breath and sweet hope swells. stillness stillness
the light is green and of course the bodies jolt and sing
sweeping them into an existence where all the lovely unseen creatures go

Repentance, repentance
Empty words I could’ve used long ago to heal myself but
My wounds have scarred, and my hands are ******
You are stained with betrayal, and I
Am rippled with shock, fragmented
With a deep want for pain. Harm to you a thousand times.

Repentance, repentance
Not enough for your misdeeds
Your harm needs blood to cleanse

Imagine, at the end of your life
I’ll wait at the foot of your grave
Waiting for pleading knees
Buried in soft earth

Even the sorry eyes and words of comfort aren’t enough,
Because sympathy won’t save you from her fate.

I am always half awake,
Occupying the space between
Then                   and now
        Today                     and tomorrow
One half dreaming, dizzy,
                           Falling. Always falling,
Graced in gravity’s pull
I’ve never found the bottom
But when I do
I’ll just keep digging and
                 keep falling.

My eyes are blurry with tears but oh,
How the lights glow in the haze
I try to step outside myself and
Ask the sky what made me this way,
But the fog only stared back silently

One single star blinking back,
The same star that I’ve always seen
Under the same sky I’ve always breathed
In the same place I’ve always been

Nothing has changed except everything
(And even that has faint traces of you)

You and I, I liked to believe we’re the same
But your life isn’t mine
And your love isn’t mine
The distance between us, tied together
Over countless fields and mountaintops
Stretching from here to there
               lets meet somewhere in the middle,
               where it grazes Missouri.
               or is it Montana? I’m not sure but
I’ve always been sure
Of this heart and
I left it in the airport
The night I left you
With sleep in my eyes and
Tears on my cheeks

Oh, tears, tears.

I always knew it would end like this
Blurry eyes begging for forgiveness
Unanswered calls, hollow bones
Silenced beneath packed earth

Ask for another chance and I’ll watch you weep
Silly girl, this was always your fate

I fear for the day I die young
Imagine this brilliant youth, crushed
By the fragility of mortality
Imagine my drowning fear, rooted
In visions of a cruel death
(Premonitions or sacred wishes)
Rushing to the front of my mind
Hanging above my head

Imagine how they’d mourn
The gentle poet
Dead by 22
With nothing to show for it

I fear for the day my words reign true
For an artist who shows their scars
Is one who is not afraid to see them so
And suddenly I feel myself
          growing,
              growing,
            ­      growing
                       All too quickly.

And the rush of this fleeting youth,
Makes me ache with the chase of death