somehow you end up in my dreams
& I’m left wanting more sleep
you, on the other hand
wish I would go away
& stay out of your life
I wish you’d understand that I’ve spent many nights
with my face in my pillow
hoping for a sign to move on
but instead I just hope that someday we’ll be friends again.
yesterday, you proved that that’ll never happen.
the countless hours I’ve spent reminiscing
with tear stained cheeks
& a stomach full of twist & turns
was for nothing.
you’ve made the past few months of my life a constant fear
of rejection & hurt
but I still held onto the,
“he’ll come back. he will.”
you’re not coming back
& I’m done waiting.

I miss being vulnerable
the feeling of being open
the ability to be exposed
and pretend I’m not broken
I miss letting people in on my secrets
I miss people wondering my fears
I miss people wanting to know more and more
but all those people have disappeared
those people took parts of me with them
leaving holes inside for me to find
maybe that’s why my heart hums
but I have to keep an open mind
I’ll hide the pieces people have left for me
(I wish people would’ve done the same with mine)
I’ll pick them up and hold them dearly
(oh and I wonder why I’m so confined)
do I really miss being vulnerable?
letting people in?
I can keep telling myself, “people always leave”
but I’ll only regret it in the end.