I often hide how I feel
Because it's reality that is real.
I was always told anger is bad,
It was not okay to sometimes be mad.
Religion taught me it was a sin,
And heaven I would never win.
"you will go to hell" my Mother threatened.
Often using these words as a weapon.
I learned to believe these hurtful words,
As the darkness began to build inwards.
Emotions and feeling are a part of daily life,
And does not truly affect my afterlife.
Anger is a strong emotion,
But does not mean I lack devotion.
What is in my heart,
Is where love starts.
The feelings of being misunderstood,
Goes back to early childhood.
I often blame myself for my lack of strength,
Punishing myself at great lengths..
Hiding all the things that went wrong,
Just so maybe I would finally belong.
Fear has always took control.
Leaving me with only a broken soul.
I did not fight back,
And strength at times I did lack.
But that day I chose to run away,
I knew I could no longer stay.
A simple promise I made within,
And what a struggle to keep its been.
Forgiving my inner child for her fear,
Leaves me continuing to persevere.