Be sweet to me and I’ll return the flavor.
Why don’t we buy a cabin in Colorado?
Don’t love me out of mercy,
and don’t make me have to run.
Best of things don’t come easy,
and if they do it spoils the fun.
But I don’t want fun.
I’m looking to get wed, not wet.
I’m trying to get by, not high.
I wish that it was easy, not hard.
I’ve fallen in love way too many times and it hurts more every time I do.
Maybe when I find the right one I won’t have to fall again and bruise.
Why fall when you can rise in love?
Why don’t make it easy?
Can we sit down and choose the color of our fence?
Can we laugh at stupid people together?
Can we feel like God’s top priority for a day or two?
I wanna look down on you looking at me from the bed.
I have enough problems of my own, but I’ll find room for yours too,
and isn’t that ******* beautiful?
I had a dream that he ****** me in the backseat of his car and that’s as close as we got to being a couple.
I ran away from him but I felt godawful.
But that’s what I had to do.
(That’s what I had to do, right?)
Now I’m walking over ridges and through valleys somewhere high in Colorado.
I’m looking for a spot to build a cabin as part of some dumb personal bravado.
I have nothing to prove to a single soul except my own and I’ve been contemplating lately whether I’m temporarily lonely or whether I’m
ready?
Someone wise told me once that when you catch feelings you fall like dominoes, and that wise someone was me, cause I have.
I’m my best confidant, but lately I’ve been contemplating whether I’m just desperately needy to be loved or whether I’m finally
ready?
I’m in a dead zone for cellphones, in between two peaks of Colorado mountains.
Here I’ll build my cabin and watch television with old Hollywood actors.
But I won’t be doing that alone.
I’ll let him choose the color of our fence, we’ll stand beside it holding hands.
I’ll take the risk of having to run for the hills again, I’ll be quite already there.
I’ll bring him shade in the summer, heat when waters freeze.
It all sounds so easy.
I’ve fallen in love so many times and it hurts like throwing yourself off a cliff in the mountainy Colorado.
But why don’t we rise in love?
Why not make it easy?

a clear, rapid stream
runs across a vast grassland
into the blackness.

Troy says beach walks are all the rage.
I’m a city kind of guy.
He could play guitar till the end of day.
And I’d drink beer till night.
He hates to vape and I really hate it.
That strawberry smoke tastes better when he exhales it.
I’m chopping wood to keep up the fire.
Fire lasts, feeling expires.
What now?
He treats me like the weaker one.
He treats me like the weaker one.
He treats me like the weaker one.
And the RV doesn’t feel like home.

I wanna remain faithful.
Make him happy but I can’t.
Pour grenadine into his glass with a shaky hand.
He tells me to chill.
But knows **** well I can’t.
I wanna hold onto him but I can’t even hold myself.

I don’t wanna go on a roadtrip or the store that’s a couple miles away.
I’m good overthinking, smoking, swimming at the shore of the bay.
I feel the sand falling down in between my fingers on the ground.
Does he mind a reassurance ******’s rant, I hate that sound.

Troy thinks that the bygone era’s gone by for good.
I’m all that’s left.
I need just Joni and a whiskey to touch down.
He likes grass instead.
He hates to show off and I’m losing patience.
God, if he could just manspread on the chair and let me watch.
I’ll just wash clothes in the river and live on.
Without him or with him.
What now?
I got a whole country to cross.
I got a whole country to cross.
I got a whole country to cross.
Cause one plus half ain’t two.

I love how his hair comes down.
How he lets me down.
It’s so attractive.
I love him with his glasses on.
That just turns me on.
Like a light switch.

I wanna remain faithful
I wanna remain-
I wanna remain faithful
I wanna remain-
Sorry if I come out hateful
But you get in my way
I’d give you all my warmth
But you’re pushing me away

I’m a bad, bad, bad, bad case.
You keep pushing me away.
I wanna remain-
I should’ve remained-
I’m a bad, bad, bad, bad case.
You keep pushing me away.
I wanna remain-
I should’ve remained faithful.

I caressed the surface of your car where you parked it.
I put on your green sweater from where you dropped it.
I wear the clothes you gave me and an honest smile.
I caress your strands of hair like lilies of the nile.

Said rose was your favorite flower and I’m all about hedonism
I don’t walk past a bush without linking them to you
I’ll pick every rose from every square mile
And every drop of blood will turn out worthwhile
Said rose was your favorite flower and I’m all about escapism
I don’t let go of fears without unveiling them to you

Cause I love you for a reason
and that is to not feel lonely on a Saturday night
out in West Hollywood
I understood despite
us being temporary
to nourish us for life.
Cause love is like a garden
the more roses you give, the harder it is to keep it alive
And I don’t wanna get high every time I’m with you.

I wanna touch you
To know I want this to stay alive.
I wanna caress you
on your shoulders like lilies of the nile.

Rosemead flower.
Laurel
Canyon. Hour
‘s late.
Don’t make me sour.
I endeavor
to hold you closest.
Even when summer
wilts ‘fore me forceless.
I wanna hold
and be held closer,
than you hold your roses
closer than closest.

Ryan, is Texas sunny?
Do you like it there?
I’ll love you if you give me a plane ticket to Dallas and conclude your harlot days.
Ryan, I’m just one of many.
No more than ordinary.
I’m almost ready to relearn how to love for my *** days are at an end.

You say you want a boyfriend and want things to stay the same.
I’d fight my nature but can’t, I turn like a weather vane.
Four familiar notes play and suddenly I’m Virgil Caine.
But you, sweet boy, you stay the same.

And you’re too sweet for me.
I don’t even mean to sugarcoat, but I think that.
I’d give you what you want, but the miles in between won’t let me get closer to you.
Must be warmer where you’re at.
In Texas.

You need something I have an abundance of and nobody to rain it on.
But you’re in Dallas and all I can do is write this poem.
So enjoy the weather.
Bathe in the sun.
And good luck in searching for the light of your life.

Waves frozen mid-crash.
Cold sinks through the glove.
Trace swallowed by frost.
Sand buried in snow.
Red hot volcanos.
Arid palm trees sway.
Long for the scarce green.
That’s how I escape.

You didn’t come all this way to slap me in the face.
With rubies on your white gloves red like blood.
You didn’t come all this way to leave me on ice.
Roofed over a brick maze, here comes the drop.
You didn’t come all this way to send the chandelier down.
Perforating me with a hundred million shards.
You didn’t come all this way to cave the roof in on me.
I fear nothing having climbed on top of what I feared.

I am evil, who isn’t?
I dream of scarlet and crimson and vampirism.
I am fixed in stone forever.
I fantasize about ribbons and bruises on knees.

You run out of paint, you bleed for art.
I could save myself, but I’m not that smart.

Watch me fly away, light hitting the mark.
I’m visibly drained, I’m visible now.

Baby, I’m soft like candle flame.
For I allowed myself to waver and wane.
I thought that was the trick to ignite the lights inside their stupid, pretty heads.
Alas, it was all in vain.
They could never love me for my poetry and late night whereabouts, the way I make my bed, the way I watch the stars.
But you, sweet as revenge, you came into my heart cause I let you in.
I could’ve chosen somebody next door, but I didn’t.
I could’ve listened to Sylvia Plath and loved a thunderbird instead of him.
Instead of the easy way back into poetry, I chose to fall deep for you,
and willingly I fell
into its whirl.
I’m fearless for this and for that and for what it’s worth I’m proud of myself more than ever.
Every lover I wished I could keep by my chest at night is now my enemy, but they’ve given me more than they know.
I ruin everything or maybe I’m too smart to chase thunderbirds, listening to abrasion taking place in earshot, time is running low.
It’s a long shot, but I think I might be right and despite the unfortunate events, I have more time than I know.
I’m only sweet and hot like summertime and I don’t dare throw my best days to the wind chimes’ tinkling.
I’m head-deep in my vulnerability and it’s feeling so **** sweet, swimming in debris, having more than I asked for.
San Juan, love me, please.
I’m still waiting for love to happen to me.
Patiently, enduringly withstanding summer breeze extinguishing me.
I’m open again to a new pair of arms to guard me from wind eroding me, erasing me off the face of Earth like sandcastles left to be.
I’m soft like candle flame, Juan, love me deeply, please.
Deep like the deepest point of the ocean, that’s how deep I wanna delve into you.
I haven’t loved anyone for more than a year, can you change that, please?
At least now I know it’s not me.
Can you love me, please?
Do you see yourself next to me?
Don’t you mind me asking?
It’s not like I’ll be this young and eager for dozens of summers, so I’m emptying this glass that happiness is until I find my peace,
find somebody to share it with.
Just tell me I’m not unfit to be loved.
Juan, I understand I’m not the problem, but can you verify that though?

You hypocrite,
you were talking **** all day and you almost said you love me,
kind of ironic,
because that’s what I wanted to tell you for ages before,

I am what I am,
I’m see-through in my mirror,
which I call the sparkling sextant with the view of the sea,
hidden beauty for V.I.P.,
(that means no one),

you are see-through like glass,
even your brown eyes,

you’re closer to the sun than I am in astronomy,
it has effects honey,
you are who you are and now I know it,
after I said I love you in vain,

whatever,

let me finish what I’ve started in early 2018,
which is enhancing the worst in me,
so I become top tier being,

something you think you are but you’ve never loved someone,
like I loved you,
and you just don’t know

anything.

At this point I’m sure I’ll forever be on the mend.
Waiting for the best thing that happened to end.

A billion years from now,
I’ll still be yours.
Just like it is right now,
I belong where you.
I’ll continue to ******* lowlifes in the comment section.
I’ll glorify your harshness long as I got a heart that beats.
All this love I’ve to give.
Swear it came out of the blue.
Whatever comes, I’ll be here.
Dreaming of having you.

At this point I’m sure I’ll never find happiness elsewhere.
All I’ve ever wanted was to live in the embrace of your haven.

Venice, scoop me up and lift me up before the waves pull me under.
Cover me in sunburns and wash me ashore to the beach birds’ flutter.
I swear it all came outta the Pacific’s blue.
Long as I have a mouth to speak, I’ll continue to babble about you.
I swear it all comes down to becoming one with you.
Long as I have a heart to love, I’ll continue to adore you too.

A billion years from now, I’ll have sunk in the waters by the continental shelf.
But in my lifetime I’ll carve swans in hedges with metal shears, sunglasses I picked up at 7/11 in South San Gabriel.
I really wanna talk **** ‘bout coworkers marriage problems over coffee, getting fired cause I’m hot, red hot in trouble for blowing bubbles at work.
Doing wheelies on shopping carts but during the day since none of the witnesses knows my actual name.

They say write and write till you write your future into existence.
LA, **** me into your frontier and hold me within your dominion.
I want something lasting, not everlasting.
Something I can have without having to cherish.
I had a good thing, but it ended.
And my heart, it’s since been mended.

My world is minimalistic
but my mind is significantly infinite

Verdant land with one blue river curved in two spots
dual array
to unravel my worst convolution

To ease the long lasting existential blurriness in which I’ve lived
and for many important reasons.

but returning to the starting point I’ve found art in doing nothing
Only ordinary things
like loving and being loved.
Striding across pages of my future autobiographical books
about nothingness.
Because it’s the softest and most adequate form of art to have been made

half past eight

summer evening

Perfect backyard wooden table in some place away from here
abstruse nostalgia written in grapheme
and circular shape of my ripened mind..

Could these reflections symbolize the freedom I’ve been chasing
and in the end found in

Long trips to balmy beaches in the front seat of my car

all these things disarrayed on paper plains
one meandering river
vast misplaced ocean
Holy Mind

never been called a charismatic storyteller under a disco ball
When the wind was rapid
or when the seas were calm
it was nothing extraordinary peaceful weather ivies growing down
white carpet laid in the midpoint of my floor.
My poetry grew sky high starting new close to the ground
Therefore my Wiжa was an ideal outro to the sleepless nights
and knowing everyone has changed.

If this is art
then I live for it.

After all i limn the same thing

Something between
present
and absent

Something surreal accessing the greatest kingdom
assessing the ways
to battle obstructions.

and most importantly to locate those Arcadian rampant lands
where every word spoken turns gold

LB

or the visible border between the dream and dreamful reality

Alluding to my nearest past I’d like to make all my words clear
in grapheme
summertime
Dual mind

Many upper decisions to abide by afterwards when the sun elevates
Perfect thoughts picnic table in the wild
Soft
like
a lullaby
..

Empire State Building, floor 102.
That’s where I’ll be waiting for you.
You guys are like family, I love you in a way.
I’ll be your friend and solace, strong roof over your heads.
Pull up to your wedding, be your best man, wipe your tears when it’s over.
But don’t jump off, babe, soon we’re all going to be happy.
In Empire State, someday we’ll all be free.
I wanna fall in love at least once before I die, even if it brings me down.
So don’t jump off, babe, soon we’ll all stop being lonely.
Empire State, someday we’ll all be free.

I can see the words trapped in your eyes when you look at me.
Someday you won’t have to fear it.
We’ll hold hands doing laps around Central Park in summer.
We’ll french kiss on the subway like some blazed down gunners.
Don’t be afraid of the dark when you feel it.
Someday you won’t ever have to fear it.

I’ll go to New York City, I’ll be grateful to stand where they stood.
I was in heaven when they were dying, I swear I emphasized with them when nobody could.
It’s sad when I think what my brothers and sisters have suffered while I sat on Jesus’s lap.
It’s not my ******* fault that Jesus made me gay as ****.
I’m looking in the wrong places, forever out of luck.
But someday I won’t have to wander.
Someday I will open my blinds and invite the light in.
I’ll be at the beachside, old and happily married.
In a townhouse painted green which has a garden of hydrangeas, nourish me.
I’m a hemlock baby, fruit of toxicity but I’m still beautiful.
Step on me all you want, but I’ll still do lots of good.
The empathy within me is as strong as a stone wall standing tall and lingering on.
There’s radioactivity, discovered by Madame Curie and I’m carrying it along.
But I have faith still
that God loves me
I wish to love another in the same way, Lord let me.
I will give you
roof and solace
Someday you’re gonna need it before you get to give it.

I can see the scars on your soul when you expose it to me.
Someday you won’t have to loathe them.
We’ll dance with locked hands jiving to music of liberation.
Remember what they took from us, be proud of what he had.
Don’t hate yourself and don’t think you’re broken.
You’re just beautiful in a world that’s not yet awoken.

A songbird once sang to me that someday we’d all be free.
The pain that you endured, it will be your strength, it will lead you forward, it will hold your hand.
A songbird once sang to me that someday we’d all be happy.
I’ll come to your wedding, be your best man, cry with joy as you’re standing at the altar.
Empire State, we’ll throw baby showers, grow vegetables together, perform in gay bars on street corners.
In Empire State, we’ll kiss on the subway, be invisible, marry each other on floor 102.
I wanna fall in love at least once before I die, I just wanna fall in love.
It’ll be okay,
we’ll all be free someday,
Empire State, don’t you jump off.

We were so perfect,
that we defined ourselves as
surreality.

I wanted a fun weekend
and now I'm slowly starting to need you..
I tried to lose myself in Oklahoma
two days off from someone who knows me through
Wind in my hair never felt so free
Now I can't get over you,
Jesus freak.

You taste like fruit marshmallows
delicately melting in my mouth
deliberately too sweet
citrus gold
white hot

I can't get over you Matt
I wanted to arrange my cards, now I'm cheating on my boyfriend and I cannot sleep at night
I tilt left and right
forever in a sugar rush
play pretend
dopamine high

I know that what I do isn't right
I like to call it a fever which will turn out alright.
Even though I lowkey wish you stayed for another fortnight
and one more
and another
It's a lost cause but let's try - not like I have anything else to live for at this time.

I wouldn't be as bold if I had already crossed you out
Maybe if we went back to Daytona, things would go according to plan and we wouldn't have to part ways in August, what do you think my love?
I could live like Lizzy
compose in a trailer park
as long as I'm the same, it's you I'll write about.

  Pull me close to you
    I'm at my weakest now
As long as I'm the same it's you I'll think about.

    It's more than a fever
  Babe I get it now
    I can reach infinity
  Lemme show you how

July is the month of storms
The bolts that haunted me last night
Lit up the sky like glass shatters
And I was in fright

June, I burned myself like thorns
The heat reigned all over inside
My home and the concept I fathered
Bloomed like a bird of paradise

Or an oxeye daisy, crooked but beautiful inside
Season’s hot like Hades, ain’t weird that I still cling to the fire, fire, fire
After all I’m crazy, and I’m the leader of my own life
My man drives a Mercedes, he powers it with those golden eyes, eyes, eyes
Sweltering air looms over town
And thunder was so nice to me
Thunder was so nice to me

Alanya was burning in the night
As I danced in an on-deck foam bath
I feared I’d end up smoking burned
Instead I swam in a blizzard of ash

They talked the winds would spawn a twister
To harvest all of my joy like a reaper
But lightnings were lighting above my writer
And so I wrote all the danger away

Am an oxeye daisy, crooked but beautiful inside
Season’s hot like Hades, ain’t weird that I still cling to the fire, fire, fire
After all I’m crazy, and I’m the leader of my own life
My man drives a Mercedes, he powers it with those golden eyes, eyes, eyes
And his golden touch
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

(But you know it)
Thunder of love rolls into my bed like a typhoon and it makes me sad
How they know who you are
But you know it
Nothing as extreme as love could ever wreck me senseless and it makes me glad
To still love you despite that
But you know it and you do nothing with it
Yes you know that I love you in spite of it

July is the month of storms so electrify me

my dear tangerine
described my sadness as sweet
arizona dream.

summertime,
in our yard,
cherries reddening in the big sun,
the skies have reached the peak of blueness,
bluer than last year,
when we were lying under sycamore trees
with our minds wandering around at cloud level,
blasting our favourite music and singing along to it,
that i called life,
that i call the future.

Grandparents took us to the fair “I need a penny”
I said all sweaty in joy, grandad said “I don’t have many
more. But go on and play along”
Now I’m sitting at the ice cream shop in love, one I miss every day
I’m waiting for the walking green, woman at the florist’s ties a new bouquet.
I think of North Carolina and the South
Think of all the things I couldn’t live without
but now I do
Now I can’t function without you
I walk by the fair, your touch over my hand and I think of how I have everything I want
and how I wouldn’t trade you
for an extra penny or a ride-along.

One is Attraction, the pull undefeated.
A willow swaying in a barren land that’s counterfeited.
The siren on the shore, the relentless deceiver.
Dilator of eyes, arrow of love that’s unrequited.
A lightning in a jar.
A vault full to the ceiling.
A crater from a star.
Ravaging like war feeling.

Two is Courage, the push of death and glory.
A volcano of heart spewing out lava, caved in quarry.
A dagger cutting deep, the vicious territory.
Mistake to rue, the driving factor of the story.
A temporary elation.
A heavy pen to write with.
An abrupt deviation.
Wings and a tall cliff.

Three is Confession, the towering dam collapsed.
A diary in the sun, the voice of compassion and lust.
Naked truth and waterfall, an iron door trespassed.
A glimpse of the future, a ripe fruit of the past.
A dark room entered.
A pink envelope delivered.
An amatory venture.
Beauty in something shattered.

Four is Rejection, the end of the world.
Calamity made happen, melted candle and the cold.
The night killer, umbrellaless in a downpour.
Coins in ripped pockets, a fractured soul.
Debris of cards.
The shortest kiss.
Excess of stars.
A bullseye missed.

I call my men babies cause they are
I call you on the telephone - your number crumpled up
I grasp it tight.
I never meant you bad or ill
I’m just too wild to grasp
You think of me like dream
You’re ******* right.

Freesias
Gardenias
Roses
You’ll only realize I’m gone when I’m withered
Dahlias
Azaleas
Orchids
I’ll sing my song if you pour me a river

I call my man baby cause he is
I call him on the telephone - I’m down for the count
Need to be held tight.
Need something more than goodnight
Need something higher than high life
You’ll only realize I’m sad when I’m withered
So pour me the great Arkansas River.

I ring the bell, hoping you’re home Esther- I know you’re not.
I saw you left the window slightly open as if you never left.
You know, I feel like you could’ve been the right person to cry on the shoulder upon upheaval.
Because like mine, your spellbound odyssey had its twists and turns and derails-
and the people that come and go.. you’re not like them like me.
Me, I was drifting toward cliques the way moths are allured by candlelight at night- but pulling out other’s weeds never makes you a better gardener.
And you can’t just float through life.

Why do I feel so much like you, continuously swimming against the tide in my senior high school year?
In the wrong place like you, when you were a fashion magazine editor in New York, contemplating life and chatting w newly met men over plain ***** in lousy bars w your only friend.
then delving your body into steaming hot baths to eradicate that familiar weight on your exposed shoulders.
Counting every crack in the ceiling and pondering the origins of bathtub faucets you’ve encountered.
You didn’t really care for which direction your inner compass was turning-
me neither.

I never went to prom.
I never even wanted to go.
I never wanted to graduate.
I never wanted to grow up…
Safe to say I have no big plans to look forward to, but just like the foamy tops of waves that carried you, I’m sure they will find me someday - same way I found you.

So, why when I gaze into my bathroom mirror I see you?
You, on glamorous movie nights, dreaming of going to bed.
You, in a psych ward, after yet another failed attempt.

Some things are too hard to heft - therefore they should be let go of - it’s a gift to be aware of it.
I’m almost certain, that you thought that too, while ironing your victorian nightgown or watching tears race down your new stanzas, staying all week in bed.
It’s not a bad thing to feel this way.
And one thing I wish you’d known since the beginning of your spiritual road trip is that you don’t have to be rich or outgoing or just so cool
to be the greatest.

Love yourself like you wish to be loved.
Love others like it’s why you were born.
Love God for he answers all your questions.
I don’t have bad intentions.
I just want to spread love.

Love my daughter in heaven, forever.
My parents for giving me a life to build.
I don’t hate those who hurt me.
I forgave all just to save me.
Maybe this is how I’ll enjoy my life.

To keep my head above water.
Head above the blue.
If happiness’s a door
Maybe love’s the key, I can tell it’s true.

To keep me from losing my way.
To keep me from losing my faith.
Maybe if I keep on letting go.
I can move on without dead weight.

I’m doing it for you and for me.
Living, not sure if I’m meant to be happy.
But I’ll keep on breathing.
Believing.
Forgiving.
Because my intentions aren’t bad.
I’ll do good, promise to God.
I’ll make my family real proud.
I’ll see my kid again, daddy loves you, I’ll be there at the rainbow gates.
And I’ll keep living.
And living.
And living.

i can be ur canvas for u to paint me as i’m getting undressed
my baby doll face is smooth and my porcelain body fragile to the brush
but i believe that in the right hands i could be made into a work of art
so hold me in ur arms and hide me from the sun that’s scorching and hot
let’s dive into an azure ocean and forget who we really are
live for true love that we crave deep inside
i am urs baby and u are just mine

u’re my dear muse- always on my mind
we belong in the louvre yet we’re ahead of our time
it’s only u and me that matter in my life
and as long as u’re nearby i’m grateful i’m alive
i live for this feeling and maybe i’m just so in love
like an unreasonable dreaming child
with a prolonged monologue fastened firm to my motley heart
so in love i live ur life instead of mine that’s alluringly benign and divine and
i live us and i love my life
but that’s really nothing bad
u know- choosing compelling fantasy over plain reality is one of the few things
i’m glad i’ve done
when i see u in the sun i feel calm
i imagine the waves composing a song that plays over me thinking:
i am where i belong
and that’s in ur arms
u know darling- when u have enough of this world
why don’t just get lost in something pristine
with someone u truly love?

my longing of highways- of moonlight that’s soft
living free
love is all i’ve got

i draw stars with baking powder on the stove like a painter on a drawing board
scatter cinnamon on ur sweet face
tilt towards ur glossy lips that taste like lush cherries grown in summer haze
but there’s no haste- none of that
i suppose we all know art requires time and passion or else it may fade
only pleasure never tension
i’m open for interpretation
i’m pretty in ur eyes and i stay pretty just for u
i cry at night and i blur paint laid below my watery eyes but u say it’s alright-
i listen to u
so decorate me how u want- pin glittery stars to my lemon blond hair
paint daisies and dandelions in prime on my face cause they’re my favorite flowers
and i love the way they smell
ornament me with great diligence and angelic emotion
pour urself onto me
all ur colors and their shades
we have all the time in the world
we have love as strong as no one has

i promise i will be ur canvas
paint me as i lay my head on ur chest and as it’s dimming down and sun sets
let’s get loose and jive on a watercolor painted lawn
shift astray and thrive like grapevines climbing monet beach house walls

What are you in eyes so blue?
Iron gate that’s cold, inflexible
Fragile like ice on a pond
Yet it’s hot as it melts in my palm

I’ll never ebb to the foot of our bed
I’ll never walk over the threshold unless
I’ve filled the room with your favorite scent
I’ll make my clothes smell like my precious man

In the summer of my life I was burning
charming
like a God.
But when the colder times came in hotly
I gave up
and I was lost.

In the rhythm of philosophers pondering on the lawn
with the kitchen radio on
watching stars go by at dawn.
I resign in the fashion of determining my home
and the next chapter will come.

In the spring of my life I was thriving
I was beautiful
like lotus.
But when redwoods’ leaves began falling
so did I
but didn’t die.

Telephone lines above me.
Electric like Elvis’s guitar.
Guns & Roses playing softly.
I’m feeling like a fallen star.

Gas station, LED lights.
I’m a deer in headlights.
Ovation, green lights.
I’m having a panic attack.

I dyed my hair black, do you recall that, baby?
I used to think I’d dye it blonde again when I’m happy or did I wanna dye already?
Red sky, who are they to downgrade me?
I just lied my *** in the grave they dug me.
Slap me upside the head already.
Tell me to be smarter.

Starlets making news by malice.
I’m just idly crossing that turnpike.
Once I was in love, in Paris.
Entranced reasonlessly in my mind.

Hollywood, limelights.
I’m so prone to gaslight.
Only saw me in bad light.
Poked fun at my loneliness.

I sought solace in Mötley Crue, remember, baby?
They were all laughing, jumping rope and I wanted to jump off something high already.
Red sky, who were they to affect me?
I just had to stand for myself, apparently.
Bury me in your arms already.
Tell me I’ll be okay.

We’re hitting the road now, baby, tell me it’ll be okay.
We’re entering the desert now, baby, fifteenth interstate.

Clover.
Yachts.
Vermilion.
Who were they to upset me?

Hoops.
Harleys.
Equinox.
Who were they to decry me?

If I write you a Devil Glitch, will you love me like your next *****?
If I give you some attention, will you ease off all this tension?
If I write you a Devil Glitch, will you love me like your next *****?
If I give you everything, will I get at least some of it back?
Wonder why I’m clingy, wonder why I’m so anxious all the time?
Wonder why I’m so tired, wonder why I don’t trust anyone?
Red sky, who were they to change me?
I just nodded when they used me.
Drive me to Vegas already.
Tell me to be braver.

Red sky, swallow me.
Injecting eurodance straight into my blood system.
Red god, pity me.
I don’t let them, I’m a wall.
Swallow me, swallow me.
Into the chasm of vermillion.
Red sky, pity me.
I’m too hard to see through now, I don’t give up, I’m a wall.
So let me fall, fall, fall.

Envy, there’s envy and jealousy.
Lust, there’s lust and it’s killing me.
Looks of judgment, there’s embers and they’re burning me.
Lights, astigmatism has me spinning.
Mile markers, numbers increasing.
Heartbeat, it’s speeding - speed, my heart’s beating.
The most electric feeling.
Beating like Jailhouse Rock.
I feel it in my chest.
I need to stop.

Red sky, who are they to downgrade me?
God in the sky, what am I to say?
I have a lot to let out, this life’s unfair and rigged.
Will I make the news if I write the next Devil Glitch?
I could write the longest poem.
Will they love me if I do?
My lover says they’re not in my lane, cause we’re mean but beautiful.
And what am I to say?
Yes, you, red sky, what am I meant to say to you?

7, there’s 7 letters in my last name.
7, there’s seven lanes in this ****** highway.
Heaven, there’s paradise down in Nevada.
And I’m cast out of it.
7, there’s 7 sins they preach about.
7, my lucky number since I was a baby.
Heaven, my boyfriend’s cuter than yours.
And I’m not over it.

Mean but beautiful.
Mean but beautiful.
Mean but beautiful.
Mean but beautiful.

Nothing.
The dreams don’t exist.
The fears don’t exist.
Memories.
Relationships.
It’s all empty space.
Love affairs.
The dogmas.
Gaping wounds, wide smiles.
Unsaid things, joy rides.
Broken hearts, good deeds.
There’s nothing in this place.
Just silence.
Absoluteness.
Peace.
But the place where I’m at right now has every one of those things.

I don’t drink
and I don’t party either
don’t do drugs
and not because of fear

I’m 21, but a rock solid introvert
social anxiety has me seeking cover
thoughts like stallions, I need to hold my horses
just sad
I’m way too young to be thinking about…

let’s not go down the rabbit hole
I’m not Alice
know no malice
but I’m not soft

why don’t we just go downtown
hit the store
our boulevard
lagoon palace

I cried for years knowing my baby was gonna die
and when she did it took me three days to stop
I was out of tears
and aware of afterlife
two nights after she visited me asleep just to say she was fine

and on the nights I cried in advance
I could’ve drunk or danced
but I didn’t
it’s all awfully sad
I should be living my youth, it’s bad
I’m too young to be thinking about…
death.

Call it touchstone, cause I tinge you gold
Rub my face against your chest like a noble metal
If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t discern my value
I’m a diamond in the form of a petal

Tears of joy make the finest jewelry, so do the raindrops that dot my forehead, running home to ya.
I await the comfort of spring
Months pass as I blink
The fuller the moon, the more I seem to love ya.

A shoal of stars passes above Calabasas and the peaks that reach beyond
The Hollywood Hills is where I go
My life is a love song
I’m a diamond unburned by every storm

I’m running for my life from my life
I’m running home to ya

I bathe under the moon under stars
I don’t know what to say to ya

I don’t know what I’m feeling when I’m with ya
But one thing I know
Is that it feels good

So spin me ‘round in the ocean of galaxies
Twirl me now straight into your deepest fantasies
Call it even, cause I need it all
Call it touchstone, cause you tinge me gold.

the movie finished baby,
if i don’t move on now,
then i will never move on,
rockwell,
rock well,
been daydreaming in a parallel world on a nonexistent beach,
in roswell,
sipping gently on lemonade served in a fine glass cup,
if you rock then rock well,
suddenly it was the night,
then the day came,
and i was evolving all that time,
i was growing beautifully like an orchid,
but life got boring,
and i realised,
if i don’t stop fearing change now,
then i will never grow fully,

it’s only a matter of time,
every caterpillar turns into a butterfly,

it’s just a matter of time, love.

i had always thought
that to climb up any wall
i needed support

I’ve never had a thing for metaphors as a poetic whipping boy.
But when I think of it my heart’s kinda like the ancient city of Troy.
And I’m winning at the lotto till it’s just another knockoff seller.
Every guy I genuinely liked but they ain’t **** in hindsight whatsoever.
And every friend I would’ve taken a bullet for but would they have stood for me?
Every wrong decision I’ve made, if I managed to fix them then who would I be?
And I see animus when there is one, is it unanimous that everyone fells that?
Or maybe I’m overanalyzing every vowel, every aspect, every change in tone and dust speck.
I’m vengeful as **** and haven’t had a whole lotta luck finding love and **** like that.
Keeping friendships’ hard alike, dirt all over the welcome mat, I’m too proud to sweep it up.
Life’s one big stratagem, but I’ve made peace with that instead of battling it.
One brutal expedient, but I’m not sowing havoc in the name of embracing it.
And yes, I lie, yes, I add on stolen gems onto my crown.
But I’d never burn somebody’s whole world down.
Cause that’s what y’all were to me.
All you ******* that made Troy of me.
You’re my homie or a phony?
You won’t bother text or phone me.
I watch my homeboy **** it up, waving bye, his fault he missed the boat like that.
Glow up like a cityscape, forever à la mode, I’m on my Taylor Swift **** and your perception of me’s a folklore.
I shot my shot with a stiff, pretend I’m colorblind to red and green.
The dud must be eating ****, explains why he’s so ******* full of it.
I’m on my payback **** and if you double back for more that’s a no-no.
I’m on some hot guy **** and if you want a war this is a no-zone.
I’m on next level **** and if you wish to reach my level, get you a wishbone.
Outta my mind on all-night revels, all nighters getting me all disheveled.
Opening bounties from red devils, get you a reality check, I’m not ending up in flames.
In and out of heaven for forever, try and diminish the malevolent.
Never let a passerby bedevil me, you on some mythology ****, you ain’t gonna see me burn.

Can’t infiltrate my walls like Troy.
But he can infiltrate me though.
I’m on some daredevil **** and I’m it.
Doing kinds of **** I’d never thought I did.
Don’t stress yourself over a ploy.
Don’t bother fool me with decoys.
I’m on self-improvement and I’m the ****.
Bouta do everything I scrapped out of fear of doing it.

I’m no **** superhero, but I’m like the Iron Man.
Don’t stick my neck out for nobody but me and myself.
Got a heart of steel but I’m still a hopeless romantic.
Hard to keep your head above water when your nature’s aquatic.
I’d like to think I’m smart enough not to jump into conclusions and possible scenarios.
Don’t jump into fights I ain’t gotta be no part of or have me win for the satisfaction.
I really owe myself that after all the **** I let happen to me and I’m regretful.
It made my psyche empirical, built up by raw emotion and that journey was painful.
Anyway, I could’ve hit his DMs up or hers or theirs.
I could’ve ditched my persona and be a villain that I was cast to play by them.
I maybe should’ve made it seem like I didn’t back up all afraid.
Or maybe it’s a good thing that I let them triumph as I sailed away.
Because in the end I turned their ruse against them, cold blooded like a cryostat.
I played their pride as their cities went up in smoke, but I ain’t no copycat.
Guess now I’m back to nurturing self-love and ornamenting that iron door.
Get it on with Troy, get you a reality check, you on some lowlife lore.

You stand still on my freshly drawn painting
happy ice cream Ibiza sunbathing
away again derailed during the late ending
bars were bending
you escaping
like a beam of laser or perhaps a wave of low frequency
into nothing but an anthill
into dark abysses blackening
That was the deepest I’ve dived into poetry
while standing strong on paper like an aphonic waiter
missing bedrocks freer plain mind
inner amity measurement waving hello in your new life
like a guest
an observer
Paraphrase all matter
everything sky high and deep indigo being
Make your world original
and get your name written into the universe’s journal
as the most poetic individual
whose world was as black as the very first few seconds of existence
only air no ground to stand on
find yourself an alternate orbit in a different time
different space respectively
Turn your mind into a fountain pen later into the legendary fountain of life
Invent exuberance
Invert antic meanings
become a planet afterwards a distinct universe
You and your paling blue crystallized eyes
You have a roughly designed past
arbitrarily by him himself
Find a lover
get a pen
Soon another
world may end.

All planets lined up,
advantaging alignment,
and I work on trust.

i know how it feels like to be a sagittarius
and i know what u mean when u think u have the whole world against u
almost like i had a facility for reading misjudged minds
i was born on the 13th of december with the silver moon attached to the starry sky
sliding across it like a turtle on a beach off to begin its new life
and i can’t show my entire thankfulness the way i desire to express it-
u’ve always been the north star guiding me where to head in doubt
as i fought my auto-destructive mental malaise with my head up in dull clouds
i sense the feelings in ur words
how their warmth illuminates
i know how u feel and i feel the exact same

and i know u ache for our generation every single day
u just wish things would go differently
u just miss the goodness that never commonly existed
and i couldn’t be more proud of u
i may not be a perfect human being but that doesn’t disqualify me from saying u are
and when i dream of u it feels like i’ve never loved before
the way i adore u
cause u know- i’ve always had taste for people who dress fancy or look attractive
but now that my sweetest feelings have been revived upon the sunrise
i feel like i’m in love for the first time
u are more than a lover to me-
u are the droplet to my needy rosebud
sunshine to my sequoia
riverbed to my missisipi
or just the foundation of the better world u want to construct
and if u could i’m sure u would
i believe in ur pure intentions and balance on their authenticity
ur words are more charming than classic poems to me
and i can listen to them like songs throughout rainy nights
because u own a good heart
that mine is chained to with a chain made of daisies as if it was spring
and even though i’m emotionally far past that line- or a life stage- who knows
we can pretend that it’s spring

i know what it feels like to be a sagittarius
i’ve always walked left when others turned right
i stared at the pond by the main road after the day was over
i stayed home after dark
i kept asking family how it feels to be in love-
so i said to myself no more loneliness or pondering my sadness
whether it’s summer or freezing cold
and when i get lonely i pray that i may lie down with u and watch the sunset
atop the roof in a peaceful riviera in a happy mindset
no past to define me- just words to descry the sense in staying strong
that’s what makes us perfect people
love u all day all night long

Nothing’s prettier than that smile,
on the face of someone you love,
and it was drawn by you,

nothing’s prettier than that smile,
no manmade crayon can draw,
but the truest love of yours,

be the first who drew one on mine,
the time is up but who cares,

what’s the fun in a life lesson?
long gone,
you are hard not to think about,

why am I writing another love poem about the same lover?
because I never get enough,
it goes over and over,

Hollywood,
Gone By Daylight,

then I find someone new and get attached,
hoping we disconnect,

new stars to colonize,
and new lands to explore,
one day I love you,
one day I don’t,
you will forever be a part of me,

the moon was clear,
like the change between us,

wooden like R and its guardian,
I don’t conduct electricity,
nice try though,

I only hope one day I will find someone who will be worth
being hung up on all my lifetime,

afterlife too.

At last I’m free from my fear.
I’m sore but resilient after the fight.
For whatever I’ve left I remain here.
I’m not dying but following the light.

Listen, it’s whatever.
I ain’t got **** to say.
I’m a Cali boy forever.
Heart left by Ocean Way.
I’m at mercy of the universe now, ain’t got room in heart to spare.
I love you real much but I’m at a turning point, breathing in dead air.
And the metal zipper of my black leather dangles in the wind, music to my despair, ain’t got a word to say.
I listen to what I used to listen.
It brings back time and has me reminiscin’.
But I ain’t got **** to say.

My backyard’s a graveyard of roses I’ve planted for him.
Only saying cause you asked.
Will you help me dig them up?
Let’s uproot dead roses of love undone and plant our own of love to come.
We’ll fertilize them and sing folk songs on a long road from home.
I’ve got it in me, believe it or not, but I’ve got it in me.
And love will come.

Let me center the whole universe around us.
Let me worry ‘bout you every single time you miss my call.
Let me rant to you in an unabridged way.
Let me release like vape steam what I ever venture say.
My 11PM attitude, high on verisimilitude.
I swear I love you, but my heart feels dead.
Just look at the fallen petals, ash instead of soil.
The dead air I’ve been breathing, it used to be a joy.
But I believe it, believe it or not, but I believe in resurrection.
Of a broken heart.

My backyard’s a graveyard of roses I’ve planted listening to Super Freaky Girl.
We were like Jimmy and Kim, we were like flame and gasoline, people got hurt.
I loved like a maniac, I almost even told my closest friends, how happy I’ve been.
But I’ve been lying all my life, it wasn’t even happiness, it was a chore I kinda liked.
Cause he had my back.
And I took bullets for him.
For him I gave the *****.
Unlike giving them for me.
But one thing I’m willing to say is even though I’m wilting to decay is,
I loved like a maniac, like fire it burned, but it went away.
Cali boy forever, the yearly switches got me crying by Ocean Way.
Santa Monica screensaver, we were there, but now we’re a world away.
And I ain’t got **** to say to you, ain’t got anything.

Now there’s dead roses rotting by my house.
If you help me, we can plant brand new ones.
I’ve got it in me, believe it you do, I’ve faith in it too.
That love can come
of love undone.

May this summer embody the greatest things in life
be a piano ballad melody familiar and sound divine
Glimmering reservoir
and sunflower petals gold
reflecting rays of vivid light appearing from above.

The main gist of my widely spread efforts was to glorify my big wish
Beyond wishfulness
originating in my quiet emblem of earth-like misty shades
Wings to fly
Voice to speak
complexity laid firm just to bespeak.
May this vogue of living melodically in this celestial madness stay
divine metaphor
and one melody I replay.
In the similar place underneath lush green leaves hung
like a model of our universe.
I’m the archer of stars
on my cluttered veranda I lay
Nimbus fluffy cover above my hips it feels like July young never late
you and I
two stranded satellites meet after the thriving odyssey in arts
Your grandeur and solid dignity
uttered perfection
In personal style of anterior architecture
Remember one short sentence:

Stay where you are
may your heavens emerge

I wear my heirlooms
on nights like these
Let the cool night air overflow my bedroom
acute senses
tensions rising
doorbell ringing
sirens blasting
the air weighs on my shoulders like a thousand jets
the people are hustling
but I borne havoc and glass dreams amidst chaos everlasting

Murdered by my dreams once
and left in a garbage bag
on the side of a road
which I once ran
down
to
the stars

There's a drought in the neighborhood now that I've stepped into the longest summer of my life.
My days go by slowly
TV shows all through
fly to Alanya in July
not stepping outside.
That's how I'll let the longest summer of my life fall through my palms like dry thyme.

And why it's so hot I don't wonder why.
You were the first who made me love my life and perceive rainbow when lightning strikes.
Long story short - I only need you not to go dry.

It's on my old Hollywood bucket list to watch "Valley Of The Dolls", I've seen it recommended on an Insta page - the one I follow that posts about Sharon Tate.
It's about three women that pursue a career in the entertainment industry but fail and out-of-hand drug abuse progressively prevails.
It reminded me of my life, as odd as it sounds.

Into the Valley of The Dolls
all my ex friends leapt and never have we talked since.
And there I was - sunburnt and worn out after a long weekend off in the South West. I had a blast but
I didn't feel like telling anyone.

Shortly after I strolled down the maritime boulevard and caught the glimpse of air hockey tables standing where they usually are - and there I was - sunburnt and hot
and the people I was with.. I no longer really know.

Therefore I

Won't lower my eyelids in the valley once
I'll stay away from the wildfires
I'll do it for fun.

I'll never smoke again to impress anyone
Not even drink if my burns cry to be numbed.

I'll be in the sun - pondering my next move
Reach for your picture or a poetry book?

It’s never too late
to slow down and later to
reinvigorate.

Macadamias, argans, coconuts are what I bathe in, Voice Memoing my thoughts, future poetry.
Bathwater hot like Hades's breath
love or die by the hot
My eyes blue like Neptune yet sweet like a honeycomb
and the thoughts that don't stop coming linger
like a superb plot.

Unkillable but sleeping with a gun.
Intrepid but afraid of rearview mirrors
in deserted parking lots.

I left Alanya and drove opposite of Konakli a week after the fires invaded.
I thought I was going to die.
I went to Lake Salda where it wasn’t raining ash
Sick of the red skies
and the AC that I so loved.
I ran away from smoke clouds and I didn't wanna go back.
But what's evil lingered
and so did hope.

I left Alanya and never went to Konakli
I saw the epicenter of wildfires in my county
but never the flames.
The flames saw me.

The desolation haunted me
Didn't buy a single martini
And the ash in the water bugged me
but what could I have done? do not ask me
On the bright side the sun couldn't burn me

And finally
I flew home leaving flames and havoc behind me
Speaking mildly
I thought I wasn't gonna come back.
One lesson I've learned
is as simple as that:
What's evil lingers
and so does hope.

One blue day I had a bizarre vision
There was something fishy in the air
Stood up and looked out of the window
My eyes grew wide
Like porcelain saucers
Your heart became
Cried on your back and begged you to stop
But you didn’t listen
Because electricity took over your brain
You were corrupted
And I was so ******* scared of voltage
So scared you would change me irrevocably

I couldn’t think of any possible reasons
Maybe I’m just too dumb to understand
Why you freed your newborn demons
And watched them sink into quicksand
It was you who got taken away
I’ve been trying to fix you all day
But you couldn’t stop
Cause you were already in phase two
You gained so much power
That your volts broke through my head
Your telephone wires imprisoned me

And my veins became your wires

There’s a guy, let’s call him Anton.
He fell in love with someone he’s never ever seen.
And that guy, he sought the reason.
A guy who won’t hurt you is one you’ll never ever meet.
The guy, he overstayed it at the château.
He’s afraid he’s someone that he will never ever be.
And what he did was find his reason.
Now he aviates asleep like they never ever dreamed.

I’m waking up from my dream.
And it took place in the clouds.
I’m getting nearer.
I got that feeling.
My ETA’s now, never ever been this near.
Bound to an airport, one I’ll never ever leave.

Do they hurt me or is it I that deals the damage?
Am I hurting them out of fear of being hurt first?
Now I’m contemplating over an ocean of clouds.
My eyes shut, letting the winds direct me to the end.

It went like that:

One night I was in a room
Lying on a bed and to myself and he entered like he knew
Reached his hand over to me
I was hellbent
On clamming up and being left be
He insisted I gave him a chance
And one he got
I think I fell in love
But I don’t mind as he won’t break my heart
Cause now he’s gone.
Another night I fell asleep
There was a guy right next to me
Handing me paper scraps, watching me
I said “Speak it aloud, set it free”
He confided in me
Gravitated real close to me
Our souls collided in a kiss
And some white lies to solidify it, the once upon a dream connection
It reappeared, the sound of a lock dropping, it was real, it was heartstopping.
Later came the disconnection.
It felt like waking up from a dream, one I wished I’ll never ever see end.
I’d let him fix my heart but it’s already on the mend.
Question is, what will it give me, knowing when to say when.
This taking off, it’s all I have until I wake up before the flight ends.
The third, he was familiar in a room of familiarity and family function ****
No thought to be over-processed, he was touching me, real tangibly
Laying over me
Gifted me a word of kindness but missed the point entirely
A shot in the dark, a spark in the heart.
I didn’t inspect nearby looks, I just listened on.
And so I hope I see him again in a couple years
I don’t know if I will
What I know is that it ends before it begins.
Like backstage romances and post-show kisses or Singapore hotel love affairs, I dreamed that too.
Patrick’s came too soon into my life to make the fourth switch.
A Judas french kiss, I’ve been over that too.
I don’t dance to his own music, I just like him cause he’s cute.
Another night of many I was over it
Already picturing gas price meters and 7/11s, cigarette smoke and rubbing fingertips
Steady with a baby but as in romance
Pending if I must admit, but tangible in a sense
When he was just in my head and not in my bed
Cause I had it all on lockdown
But I was still at passport control, anticipation had me losing control
I keep waking up before I land
To see the hills again I’d do god knows what
But I got some other plans
Got a boyfriend in Mexico, would die if he let me go
Got my daughter figure at home
I can’t exactly make amends
Or demands, each’s a far cry though
I’m bound for an airport and I’m Anton now
I don’t worry about anything at my best
I’m running to get the bag
Money to fly me west
Not to outrun the wolves with hearts laced onto their spiked black collars
racing to bite me in the *** for having the fruit I’ve sown rot
I never wanted to be vindictive, for what’s it really worth.
But somebody’s gotta be the bad guy.
Aim to escape this trance, it ends
It’s gotta have a horizon
New York, September 24th, 2024?
I’ve waited so long, think I’m going for numero dos
I broke up with my boyfriend for someone just as bad
But it lead me to my next, I need to give him more attention
I listen to him talk in Spanish, pretend he’s not so far away
4 months elapsed like steam
I’d do it all again
I wanna make it up to him for loving him as a replacement for Jack ******* Daniels
But what is distance gonna do?
What’s the ocean’s threat to drown?
I don’t fear thunderclouds as I cross them.
I don’t care, cause really I’m not there.
It’s just a dream, one I’m in, but I’m waking up.
Don’t matter if I like it or not.
One isn’t enough, I need more.
Remember, September 24th.
Hope my problems vanish by the third quarter of 2024.
That’s when the flight ends.
That’s when I’m all yours.

I borrowed personality from the perfect girl in school,
in my biggest year,
the most eventful for sure,

I was on a self-set mission,
caustic and cold like the last friendly winter,
to the goal,
never backwards,

unsatisfied never afterwards,
born to win,
snap of the two bosses after the titanium aura vanished like a weak spell,
legacy ruined,

no place to sit peacefully and dream like during a starry night,
the tale is over,
legacy ******,

but it’s what made me a stronger person that I wanted to be,
ever since I met you K.,
your eyes had something mine were missing,

and I’ve heard you’re still around,
the walls emit power
of the holy turtle of the far east,
swiftly as a turtle dove on the light breeze,

I’m awoken once and for all,
fate didn’t want me to rule one kingdom forever,

so I sat on my hands,
though the world is an endless thing,

unholy thing,

let me walk in style through new walls like the best new king,

I inherit personality from the best girl in my dreams.

Nothing such as the nagging feeling whether it’s love or a one week thing.
A perfect mixture of affection and greed but never sure if they blend well.
On the water surface there’s ripples and watercolor palaces.
Like spilled paint.
Dancing from left to right.
Is it wrong or right?
He’s cute but I already got someone.

I never lock the gate to my personalities manor.
I’m in Denmark but I wish I was with him in Oregon.
It’s most likely a come-and-go kind of situation.
But regardless, I wish he was here watching the buildings dance.
Their reflections.
That resplendent street in Copenhagen.
It’s like they melted like I melted when I met him.
Like a watercolor palace.

just like wave after wave,
the summer went away.

We
We fell
We fell in love in a different universe.
We
We fell
We fell in love in a hopeful place.
Place your hand on mine, don’t take it away.
Face on my face, let’s make out till it’s late.
Wait till they figure out what’s going on,
behind close doors,
behind the walls.
Place where we are is unreachable.
Grace, I’m no longer scared of true love.
Ace of clubs, we’re just now falling in love,
wasn’t that long ago,
who would’ve really known.

We fell in love in a hopeful place.
Under palm trees in my favorite place.

Place I’m from it’s lost to corruption.
Hate to reiterate so don’t ask for more.
Save yourself pain, I’m a blank card now,
I’ve started over now,
pessimistic and low.

But we fell in love in a hopeful place.
Where stars come out, that’s my favorite place.

Live in color
Leave one hue
be repetitive if you want to

See your contrast
Sea of hues
feel your own divergence too

Be the greatest to love the first to holler and leave
quit everything
and take a road to California reasonless

stay behind familiar walls of all feelable feelings
bad subtexts
Watch over your perfumed shoulder

Love your loved
for a week or two
or eight months

Be a gypsy for Maxwell Steele and my forced fantasy
of ending fortnight
To my ascending syzygial guru
and modern arts.

For better
four of my addressees
on the telephone wavelength alas

Scene not for me
Seen fantastical things
Now let me stay home for a day

I don’t wanna dance anymore

once upon a dream i stayed at a beach apartment complex
i went in sore and tender
i was coiled like a snake or a salamander in fresh linen
w white angel wings that never got me anywhere
like a faulty angel
but on that day in particular
it was hotter than ever

is there any affliction the sea water can’t cure
i have a headache from the sun
i feel hot standing next to u
i feel hotter lying in bed w u
i squint my eyes and submerge in the mesmerizing blue
like fluid glitter luring me closer as a siren
Odysseus finding his home in nowhere
i go in w u
bb u saved my life

i’m carefree but i think of everyone devoured by their own sea of mind
i contemplate all the time
and i wish i could’ve told u that i love u sooner

Esther, don’t chase rocks beckoning u from deep waters or u’ll hit rock bottom
Esther, i love u, u matter
u can’t just give in to the noir waves of the ocean as it won’t make anyone gladder

Susan, i’ll never forget u
i’m beyond grateful but i had to go on
people gossiped i was crazy for clinging to my own truth and i don’t regret it
if they don’t get it they can *******
i lost my zone of comfort in the name of love and i’m proud
i shouted out what had to be said and i never thought of letting go of ur hand
and i hardly ever shout
nobody gets to write ur story or change ur beautiful mind
i’m beyond happy i got to be the one to tell u this
bb i saved ur life

i can’t keep my eyes neither hands off of u
hold u tightly like i held Benjamin in summer of 2018 and spring of 2020
breathing in aloe vera in a sanctuary
a hundred dollar face tattooed on me
highlighting my worth that i can’t always see
don’t go
i won’t let go of u
promise u won’t let go of urself or of me or i’ll fall
and there won’t be anyone to catch me anymore

i can’t do it without u
won’t go for a swim without u
i’m afraid i may not find my way back if i go or ever find u

once upon real life i stayed at a beach apartment complex
i went out pure and happy
it was a beautiful dreaming session
like an ideal tropical vacation, honeymooning forever
every night felt like a sojourn in paradise
i was swimming in pearl white linen but it felt like i was swimming in a sea
i was hugging my pillow but it felt like i was holding the most beautiful person i’ve seen