These are the days
on which time
slows down,
and the sunshine
cant cure
all ills.
And the air's frigid breeze
chills your mind,
and the birds
chirping
remind you of the way
that she speaks.
But the only thing
that eases the pain
is those
perfect
brown
eyes
and the way
she says
your name,
but those things are gone.
Theyre gone and theyre
not
coming
back.
Shes never coming back.
Never.
Never.
Never.

Dont forget to forgive yourself
Even when youre lying there,
Broken and defeated
Forgive yourself.
Focus on making it through today, and not the terrors of tomorrow.
Theres only so much pain
That you can feel
Before you run out
And the numbness creeps in.
And while your shaking,
Unable to feel,
Staring at the wall,
Forgive yourself.
When the thoughts
Burn into your skull
And you wish
You were drunk so that
Maybe
MAYBE
You could forget,
Just try to forgive yourself.

And Ill try to forgive myself too.

4 pm: I miss you so much that it hurts and I wonder if this ever goes away

7 pm: I couldnt eat dinner because the thought of you made me feel sick

11 pm: Im laying in bed and I already know my 11:11 wish will be for you to be entangled in my bedsheets and my arms, breathing slowly next to me

12 pm: Im sitting on the roof and its snowing and the first time you told me you loved me it was snowing, and so the biting wind isnt quite as cold as my attitude

1 am: Im sorry Im such a **** up, you probably never even wanted me in the first place, but of course you ended up with just me

3 am: Im crying into a bowl of cereal and I feel so pathetic because you never loved me but I believed you and I hate myself for that

5 am: The sun is rising outside my window and I keep thinking about the time we stayed up together playing 20 questions and watching the sky fade from the brilliant gold in your hair to the brightest pink in your cheeks to the crystal blue in your eyes

6 am: I dont feel anything. Im not capable of forming thoughts because the only thing I can focus on is the blank space of the wall, as I stare endlessly, hoping to lose myself in the solid space that lays before my eyes.

Do not measure yourself
By the standards of man,
Look for the nature
Within your body.
Take yourself apart
And see
The wind within your breath,
And the ocean that is your mind.
Do not be afraid
To let your rage touch down
Like a tornado,
Picking up everything in its path.
Find thunderstorms
In your anger,
And look for sunlight
In your smile.

Every day will bring new beauty