baffling how hard it can be
when you’re momentarily free
to document something so deep
about what you may feel

you think too much
please slow down
crazy starts to resonate
til you wear crazy like a crown

when will you realise
you’re wasting it
years will creep past
so shut the door to the demons who visit

warm sunshine presence whispering
forget, be free & have fun

oh wipe that smirk off your face
it’s easier said than done

to try will always be enough
as long as your efforts are true
things might feel a little less tough
lost, lonely girl of only twenty-two

i don’t feel like her
the one trapped beneath the grid
they keep loving
the same old ****

delicate line
from top to bottom
firmly posed

these identifiers of allure
is a pain I can no longer endure

touchy subject
wish I didn’t have to write about it
it’s eating through our souls
til we take on the shape of her
that’s the only goal

pathetic

empty as an unlit bulb
with no lamp shade
lonely in the centre of the room
overlooked

good days
bitter sweet
but you know
it’s merely a treat

head in a bad place
buried in the sand
deflated balloon
tasted so bland

gaze into the distance
stare at the stillness
glance at your feet
just take a seat

try good thoughts
on the bad days
breathe just a little bit deeper
collapse and feel the rays

stare at the sky
and just try
try to connect

why do we stare at the clouds
imagining our dead relatives can see us
who fed us that lie
is that why I always stare at the sky

don’t read your book of mindfulness
lift the quilt
tuck every hair
can’t see me?
like you care

you never see it in her eyes
the discomforting shadow
who rests beneath the disguise

prop her up with bamboo
like a limp old flower
so she seems shiny and new

babbling to those who don’t care
and to those who do,
she will not share

reliving in flashes
disturbed by each sting
her heart has turned to ashes
unable to forget anything

as she clutches the wooden bench
she doesn’t feel the splinter
but it doesn’t quite compare
to the pain she felt that winter

Exhaustion seeps out of my sockets
Backed into a corner
Pinned to the wall by pain
Sorrow clouds the room as it starts to rain

Take me to the roof top
Stay here just for comfort
Delay the desertion  
If you need me
I’ll be sleeping

Cross the road
Hand in hand
Fingernails digging in
Suffering locked to my skin

I’ll be the messenger
Tell every single part of me
Your agenda today is
To bury yourself and bleed

didn’t you know?
it’s a one way ticket
purchased my own gloom
finding myself feeling entirely doomed

they spread on the bed
some call it the starfish
to me I see the starfish as a symbol
a symbol of utter freedom

I can taste the envy on my tongue
gulping it down before it seeps through the sides of my mouth
before the words pierce holes in bonds

they are so free
free from evil thoughts
free from worry

who is that
how do you feel
what if
what if

switching off
is not on
the cards
for me