It always starts the same way.
"Hello it's been a-while."
And then half-formed regrets hidden under word layers,
wrapped up to
conceal, deceive.
A smile. Goodbye, farewell.

The ache doesn't come from parting.
Au Contraire dear one.
It comes from what-ifs, might-have-beens, should-haves;
and always the knowledge of walking away,
letting a part of you go,
a whisper on a breeze,
a prayer.

how can i
tell a boy
who laughs
at the concept
of souls
that he
sates
mine?

i spoke to
a stranger
with a
hair-trigger
self destruct
button that
they wanted
to push:
and god,
how i wanted
to help-
but when
it came time
for me
to leave,
i left.

trusting tarot cards
and boys with
long, thin
hands:
just trying to make it
into some
long-term
plans.

i realized today
we both are afraid
of being left.

lavender and
lemongrass:
november and
an empty
moon.

i'll take
any shape
you ask me to,
just as long
as it takes me
closer to you.

october boy:
i wanna make you
my forever boy;
my never sever
always together,
whenever boy.