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May 2014 · 397
Sacrifice
Amanda May 2014
I wish I could show you,
I wish I could thank you,
and say how much you mean to me.
I wish I could hold your hand and run with you, so I can see you're free.
If I could, I'd bring you back,
and give your loved ones a day;
for you to say you love them,
you've made the ultimate sacrifice -
and after it all, it's all okay.
I hope you know the marks you've made, although you can no longer be here.
I pray you rise with the sun everyday
in all of the ones you hold so dear.
I see you're still there in every sunset, every star, and in the sky.
For my own rights, and all of us -
you held your head so high.
A soldier's promise, the ultimate sacrifice, and their family's inevitable pain.
Through all the heartbreak, there is pride and love, and certainly, no shame.
Our brothers and sisters, most courageous and fearless, men and women of the United States.
America would not be
"The land of the free"
without the undeniably brave.
So please take this, simply,
as a thank you
for taking the fall.
I've got you all in my heart,
and in my prayers tonight,
I'll end them with
"Liberty and justice for all."
May 2014 · 2.0k
Daddy's Lullabies
Amanda May 2014
It was Saturday mornings like this;
or don't you remember?
Five-year-old me riding shotgun,
watching your cigarette embers
blow hastily out the window,
listening to the engine hum.

The Beatles would play on the radio,
you'd sing along,
and try to teach me, too.
“Close your eyes, and I’ll kiss you,
tomorrow I’ll miss you,
remember I’ll always be true…”


I’d watch your fingers drum rhythmically
on the steering wheel -
something I’d thought only daddies could do.

You may not have realized it,
but at a young age you taught me
how to love life, and embrace it completely.
With loving words, and a strong heart,
you told me I could be
anything I wanted to be.

I remember being young:
you, a drummer, on the road.
I’d wake up, startlingly,
every single time you came home.
You’d leave us each with
a kiss on the forehead,
promising, always, to come home.
“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you,
tomorrow I’ll miss you…”

Singing us Beatles’ lullabies
with promises to never leave us alone.

Some nights I’d wake up
in the middle of the night.
In a panic, I’d run out to the living room
just to see the glow of the TV light.
“Daddy?,” I’d say, in a tiny voice
that only little girls laced with fatigue
can have.
Waking you up out of a dead sleep,
I thought, maybe, you’d be mad.
But you’d just look up,
and look over
to where I was standing,
And say,
“Baby, come lay with me.”

In your arms I found safety,
and the first protection I’d ever known.
You, daddy, are the one that I’ll come to
if ever I want to come home.

The TV lights glow soft now,
and that little girl is little, no more.
But don’t you ever think I’ll forget,
your voice when you’d close the door:
“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you,
tomorrow I’ll miss you,
remember I’ll always be true.
And then while I’m away,
I’ll write home every day.
And I’ll send all my loving to you.
All my lovin’, I will send to you.
All my lovin, darlin’, I’ll be true.
All my lovin’, all my lovin’..”



Happy Birthday, daddy.
Apr 2014 · 375
I'll Thank You
Amanda Apr 2014
The wind howls outside,
whispering secrets you never told;
and the rain taps at my window,
an answer so bold
but I lie here alone.

I keep your words out of my mind,
we
r a n
out of time.
It never was on our side.

I want to thank you
for making me
stronger than I was.
And maybe one day
I'll smile
when I think of you.
Maybe one day you'll call me
"Just because."

I'll admit, half of it
at least you got a head start.
It's probably good, now
that you're a part

of my past.


Yeah, maybe one day
I'll thank you
for breaking my heart.
Apr 2014 · 357
Chasing Ghosts
Amanda Apr 2014
I feel the ghost of where
your hands were
Once, months
ago.
You must've thought,
Oh, how could you think
I'd be okay
without you
Now.

I miss feeling
like I could
tell you
anything.
I miss
being your best friend.
It makes you wonder:
Why
What
and
How.

I'm chasing a ghost
I know, I know.
Run away,
you'd say.
But I can't.
It's too late.

Your hands found mine
when I reached down,
down for you
and you grabbed onto them
like you couldn't ever
bare to lose me
or bare to
let me go.
But you did,
and you did, and I did.
But I still never
let you
Fall.

I don't love you out of loneliness.
No, girl, I was fine before you.
I love you
because
I love you,
and that's all.
Apr 2014 · 778
Sheets
Amanda Apr 2014
The scent of stale cigarettes
still linger on my sheets
but so does
the smell of you.
I can't make myself wash them -
it's where you used to be;
so I cling to them
as I would to you.

Toss and turn,
roll over
Too hot
Oh, too cold.
Come back
Come back,
let me hold you.

I kiss the back of your neck,
rest my eyes
knowing you're there.
But this morning I woke
you, no longer by my side.
I feel bare.

Without you,
My bed is bittersweet.

— The End —