i hear your car pull into the driveway
and I rush to close my eyes.

i pull the covers to my shoulders
and pretend that i am sleeping

this has become my ritual

i can hear your key turn in the lock and my heart presses against my ribcage.
i have been waiting for this

you quietly enter our bedroom
the smell of snow follows you in.

silence
(just for a moment.)
then
the rustle of layers being shed

i feel the bed shift as you climb in next to me

slowly
you reach for me
lightly touching my side

in this dark room
i am beaming

'hey'

it's all you say,
but in it i can hear the high note of every love song.

with a smile firmly in place
i slowly open my eyes

only to find myself alone

in a room miles away

and all these years later
i still have a tendency to wander
to spin
to dance

and you watch me.
you watch me drift from foot to foot just testing my own stability
(i'm a lot more stable than i used to be)

i'm finally used to me

we ****** on my best friend's futon
i had bits of gravel embedded in my palm

i'm always falling head over heels