So I haven't had time
To read many prose and rhymes
Sneaking pretty words like drugs
From all the **** poem writing thugs
Hide up under the bar
I've only read two so far
Work is cutting in to my addiction
Reading and writing, my affliction
Maybe I can hide in the storage closet
That gives me time to write one comment
Jotting rhymes on my arm
Who said poetry didn't cause harm
Its my obsession
This is my confession
I cannot hide it anymore
I recognise I'm a poem *****
I go from one poem to another
"Feeling" them up like a lover
Then on to the next
For more word ***
Yep, I'm a ******-poemac
Addicted to poetry crack
Your pretty words are my drugs
And you **** poets are the poem writing thugs

We're sand, you know
Slipping through splayed fingers
Our hearts,
Are but ash filled bubbles
Carried upon the lilac,
rough winds of May
Blown by peach faced children
Sensitive to the human touch
Grasped too hard,
And a poets heart
Will burst
Should we fall,
As we so often do
We can't be caught
Promiscuous in our words
Faithful, in our dreams
We,
Ash filled bubbles
Eternally in May and lilac~A

Poisonous fairytales
Princesses sleeping
True loves first kiss
Secrets not worth keeping
All lies
Mere madness
Cruel truths
Surrounding sadness
Give your heart
Get tears in return
Give love a match
It'll watch you burn
Poisoned by fairytales
Raised on lies
No happily ever afters
It all ends with goodbye
The princesses in towers
Will never be free
And frogs stay frogs
Just kiss one, you'll see
There are no knights
Shining in white
Wishes on falling stars
Don't make things right
Sleeping Beauty and Snow White
Were never kissed and awoke
Prince Charming was a liar
He wasn't rich, he was broke
Poisonous fairytales
Cruel lies
Don't drink the cool-ade
It all ends with goodbye

I've lain on this horrid couch for days,
vintage in hand
ever staring
at this hideous popcorn ceiling.
A cheap white, low lying coffin lid.
You can never rehabilitate the dead
We are dead.
Yet, more alive than any of the sane people.
How I pity the sane.
Boring.
****** to a life of hell they are.
In these popcorn ceiling caskets.
And routine,
is hell~A

I'm burnt,
I've dwelt in the flames
These metaphors we choose to speak in
Well,
They're lies
I burn
No metaphor needed
Half moons consume my skin
As I crave
Heart beats
I lack one
And I know,
You dont believe
But they say
I'm pretty
In
Flames

The profound ignorance in a society gone mad
Obsessed with the sight of blood, naked skin, sad
Any murdering ***** is upheld and bejeweled
The thought of a good ****, and everyone is fooled
Worship the sinner
Spit on the saint
Don't remove the rust
Just cover it with paint
Smile wide
While you take it up the ***
Do I want seconds?
No thanks
I'll pass
No one today
Dares to speak the truth
Its considered impolite
Quite rude and uncouth
But dont mind me
Or the words I say
For I'm just a minor
In this life's ****** play

I've heard many a story,
About the creation of mankind
And the way life was in the beginning
But only one, stays in my mind

It has been said for thousands of years
That in the beginning, we were while
And one day, the great creator
Split us, and separrated our souls

This being the reason
We search until forever
To find our other half
So that we may be together

Every soul a puzzle
Only two pieces, they contain
Searching eternally for the other half
A souls distant memory remains

A longing deep within us all
For our souls eternal twin
The other piece of our puzzle
Our lover, best friend

Its been said that When
The two halves meet
The very universe stops moving
And the earth quakes, under feet

I was lucky enough to meet mine
One fine, summer day
His soul called out to me
And my heart was whisked away

But alas! He belongs to another
Inside, my soul cries
Though he denies this with his lips
I can see truth in his eyes

I may have to wait
On and on until forever
Perhaps in the next life
My puzzle piece soul, will be together

In the great akashic records
Where mankind's secrets are kept
Is recorded every word spoken
Every tear wept

It is a timeless record
Of every sound uttered
Every love given
Every hateful word muttered

It keeps track of every soul created
All the lives past
Things that are forever
Things that do not last

It is the collective unconsious
Of every living thing
All that is real
And everything dreamed

Some have given name to it
As the great book of life
Where the creators record
Every good deed, and all our strife

Know that in our lives
Everything matters
Every deed is recorded in a book
And the pages, will never tatter

I'd like an explanation please,
If you wouldn't care to take the time
Tell me why I drink so much
And feel life isn't worth a dime

Please, take just a few seconds
Realise I'm sending out a plea
I'll pay you for your time,
If you'll just listen to me

Understand my whispers
Are really hidden screams
Reality is so visceral
But nightmares replaced my dreams

Tears have turned to blood
In the ocean they drown
No matter the number of prayers
My soul remains hell bound

Please explain this darkness
Why the sun will never shine
And why it is that I give
But no heart will ever be mine

Can you sit with me a moment
And not see the ugly I hide
Just speak of smiles and truth
Could you kindly abide?

And when the sun passes
over this weeping tree
When the dark of night takes over
Could you just maybe remember me?

Do you remember the honeysuckle?
The way it smelled then, So sweet
The scent permeated the summer air
Down by the lake where we would meet
The sound of waves on the lake
Was the music we made love to
Sneaking away, you and I
To be together for a few
I can't help but to smile
When I see those yellow and white blooms
Do you remember the honeysuckle?
It reminds me of you

Loving you is like,
Kissing broken glass
Pain felt,
A swift kick in the ***
You know I'll be right there,
To beg you for more
Please kick me harder,
I haven't yet hit the floor
I need some more,
Of that pain you give
Its an addiction,
I need it to live
Please hit me again,
Right in the heart
I don't want it to end,
Can I press "restart"?
You know I love it
When your shards cut deep
So much so,
I feel it in my sleep
Yes dear,
Your pain, I can't pass
Please, kick me again
Right in the ***

I need a bleach bath in some boiling water
Scrub me down with brillo and lye
Degerm,
Sanitize

Im ***** from the inside out
Tainted
Painted
Alienated

Whiskey won't drown it out
If I'm supposed to whisper,
Hell, I'll shout

I've got problems, honey
I'm the goodbye girl
Not a taboo saved from my actions
I deal in nightmares
Whole, not fractions

Acid, can't touch my rust

I need a bleach bath in boiling water
Scrub me down with brillo and lye
Degerm,
Sanitize

I have this tendency to somehow stay caught
In the in between
And I can't avoid the realisation
Of never reaching reality
I dream
I sink in the ureality in which I dwell
My whole life is lost
I fight daily with a past that chases me
No matter the amount of sweat
I pour
Running
I'm found
I can't make sense
I'm senseless
And I can't help but like it
Cry at it
I've no hope of salvation
From me

We are but scorched women
Giving away pieces of our worn,
Paper hearts
Only to watch them burn with daydreams never lived
Crying tears of soot
Leaving trails of black
on once rosey cheeks
Our kisses, but ash
Painted red smiles
our masks
Souls of ebony,
traced with scarlet
We sing unheard songs
of glowing embers
Falling on deaf ears
Hearts not to be held
or touched
Ash falls apart with the softest breath

Scorched Women

I woke late this morning from too much "fun" last night
Yes, I was back down "L" street perched on my bench
I tried to wear colours, but they didn't show through the dark
And I put a clasp in my hair
I thought I looked a little less than dead
The cherry trees in the make-shift "park" are starting to blossom
I feel bad for them because they're stuck planted there
Perhaps this is why they weep
I thought of sharing my paper bag whiskey gift
But no
So I shared my tears instead

I was making dinner
Just the other night
My little girl, my all
My WORLD
Asked me,"Momma, am I ugly?"
I stopped,
Dead in my tracks
****, grilled onions and peppers
To hell with fried okra
Let them burn in butter
I say,"What on earth, would make you think such a thing?"
She,
My Stella, my all,
Replies," My friend, said I am ugly.
She said my scars are funny."
My heart, STOPPED
What does a mother say?
I was at a loss,
My face, drained of blood
Ugly?
My Stella?
She was sick,
At birth
Yes, she has her scars,
Yes, she's abnormally small
But I think,
She's the most beautiful
Of ALL,
I knelt,
Got on my knees
I looked in her beautiful,
Sky coloured eyes
And I said,
"Stella, you, are beautiful.
In all my life, never, have I seen a more beautiful little girl. Your scars, well, those are Gods love marks. Like lipstick kisses. And they make you special."

She waits,
Her waiting started in summer
Honey suckle, started to grow around her ankles
Ivey, took root between her toes
Still, she waits
Fall,
Honeysuckle, Now bare
Ivey, ever growing
Trees, losing their leaves
She waits,
Winter,
Even as the frost climbs her bare legs
Snow, sticking to her eyelashes
Winter winds, blowing, freezing
Still, she waits
Spring,
Birds nesting, chirping in her long hair
Honeysuckle, flowers to her knees
Ivey, growing and green
She waits,
Hundreds of sunrises, and sunsets
Countless new, and full moons
Eyes upward,
Arms out stretched
Still, she waits
Again, summer
She is covered now,
A lady of green
Vines of honeysuckle,
And Ivey
Unrecognizable,
She waits.......

The world should've stopped spinning
The day you stopped being mine
The sun should go dark
And the stars should no longer shine
The moon should fall
No longer grace the sky
Every stream, lake, and ocean
Should all go dry
The bird's should lose their wings
And the breeze should no longer blow
Roses, should never again bloom
Fireflies should no longer glow
The trees should've died away
Not a living thing should be found
Children should've stopped their laughing
Silence, should be the only sound
Beauty and all that is good
Should've ceased to be
But it seems only I stopped living
The day you took your heart from me

The devil resides on a fence post,
covered in honeysuckle and black berry vines
Across the dirt road in front of my house
He squats there,
atop that post
With his beautiful grin and blue eyes
He has demples when he smiles,
and hair the colour of hay
His voice,
is that of silken sin
Offering up a drunkenness that the finest of whiskys can't give
He drowns me in satin,
posing promises never kept
He bruises peaches,
and feeds on flames
Beckoning my flesh,
with the sharpest of silver blades~A

We are all sinners
We all have shame
Some just hide it better
But it's all the same
Its easy to be
In a nice sheltered life
And judge other people
For misunderstood strife
The fact of the matter is
You dont know what you'd do
If an awful, life changing
Decision confronted you
Is not passing judgement
A wrong in its self?
What gives anyone the right
To judge someone else?
No one wrong
Is worse than another
So perhaps we should all shut up
And not preach at each other
Come tell me about it
When your kid's starving and you have to steal
Or you're twelve, knocked up
And now life's real
Tell me about it when you've grown up
Dirt poor and lost hope
So in order to keep sanity
You get hooked on some dope
Tell me about it when you get *****
And you have to make a choice
But the people keep trying
To shut you up and take your voice
That's right folks,
No one is more wrong or sinful than the other
We were all created equal
Sisters and brothers
We are ALL sinners
We ALL have shame
Some just hide it better
But it's all the same

Sit on the shelf
Smile and bat your eyes
Open up wide
So they can better feed you lies
Be sure you're dressed pretty
Not a hair out of place
Put on your eyeliner
Powder your face
Pretend you don't hear them whisper
Things they say as you pass by
And NEVER, EVER
Let them see you cry

I slipped last night
On a moon beam,
Shining through the window glass
Onto my bedroom floor
And I fell into the night
With you
The stars chattered in Twinkles
At the two of us, laying on their velvet night sky
So beautiful, that the very shadow of the earth
Decided to join us, and the moon
For an eclipsing view
Of me and you

So you don't see your kids,
You have no job
Poor you,
You're a slob
Im a 90lb woman,
Call me snob
While I wait tables,
At two friggin jobs
I support my kid,
And I do it by myself
I don't call my momma,
For a ride to somewhere else
Sorry If I seem dismissive,
Or unsympathetic
But don't expect me,
To pity the pathetic
If you don't care,
Why should I?
Spending money,
On the pills you buy
Pity yourself,
Then ask,"Why"
You have no car,
No life, you don't try
Yea, I do understand,
It's addiction
So get some help,
Dont blame, for your affliction
If an idiot like me can do it,
You can do it too
Raise your own kids,
Get a job, you fool
Uneducated?
Yea, I was
But I got off my ***,
And I did it, "cuz"
I had nothing
No family, no friends
And I worked my **** off
For a means to an end
I grow so tired,
Of all the excuses
Some people give
To justify abuses,
I hear my baby cry
Every friggin day
For a dead beat dad
Who just walked away
Forgive me,
If I seem "uptight"
But wrong is wrong,
And right is still right
God help it, I know,
I'm no better than anyone else
But no one can help you,
Till you help yourself

I snort poetry
Just give me a rhyme
I'll breathe it in deep
Like a******* line
I love words
Poetry and prose
I'll snort 'em right up
Like I'm sniffin a rose
They give me a buzz
Get me high
Give me wings
And then I fly
Way more addictive
Than any drug I've tried
Write me a poem
I'll read it and get fried

Shut the hell up
Put a smile on your face
Behave yourself
And tie your shoelace
Never ever
Speak out of turn
Or they'll set you on fire
Then watch you burn
Make sure and do
Just like you're told
Don't act out
Always follow the fold
Don't you dare
To ever rebel
Or society will make
Your life a hell
Comb your hair
And tie it with a bow
Never forget
We reap what we sew
Go to work
And pay your taxes
Or society can't afford
The men with the axes
Never give
Your opinion a voice
You dont decide
Society makes your choice
Follow the lead
Stay in line
Or you'll be payin
One hell of a fine
And never forget
You're owned by "The Man"
Or he'll take your house,
Kids, and life, cause he can

My greatest wish is to write soul ****,
To be a soul **** star
To take your soul and make it feel,
Like it never has by far
I want my soul ****,
To be so very *******
That everyday you're on your knees,
Begging to read more
I wish to give your soul a *****,
Or make it really wet
So that when you read my words,
You won't have any regrets
I wish to be a soul **** star,
And write the loveliest writes
So that when you go to sleep,
You dream of them every night
I want to touch your soul,
Flat out make it ***
So that all of my written soul ****,
Beats in your heart like a drum
Men, I hope you think of my soul ****,
As a large pair of breast
That are so amazingly hot,
That they won't let you rest
Ladies, for you I want my soul ****,
To be compared to that guy
The one who loves you dearly,
And never leaves you to cry
Yes, I want to write soul ****,
To be a soul **** *****
I wish to make your soul feel,
Like it never has before

Blue skies
Sunny days
Children's laughter
Heard miles away
Dimpled cheeks
Golden hair
Blue eyes
Sparkle so fair
Scraped knees
Bumble bees
Bird's singing
From tops of trees
Afternoon glasses
Tall with sweet tea
This is what Spring means
Only to me

Tulips catch sky water for the fairies today
Late blooming March Bells,
the only sun
Dandelions dance, taking even the breath of The Almighty
In their glistening glory
Weeping Cherry tree sways, as though she's a ballerina,
Covered in perfectly cut crystals
Oil on the street,
becomes a rainbow with fragments of light,
stolen from heaven
As I watch,
Heaven falls
Making love with every earthen thing
giving shine
Love
Nourishing
Spring Rains

Stella said," Momma, I want a jump castle for my friends at my birthday, and daddy."
But daddy won't be there
"Momma, I hate court. That judger is a meanie weanie."
I know baby, shhh
"Can I have a jump castle?"
You'll have your castle, now hush
Stella sais," Momma, why don't daddy like me?"
He does baby
"Why won't he look at me?"
I don't know, princess, daddy is sick
"He needs a doctor and a sucker and a shot."
Yes baby, shush
She said,"Momma, why did daddy hurt you, like the tangles hurt my hairs?"
I don't know baby

I let a stranger in,
to ******* bitter fruit
I silenced his gun,
Told him to shoot
Gave him my body
Wrapped him in my vine
Kept my dark heart
It's black, but it's mine
We danced our skin dance
Till we saw the sun rise
I feel no shame
No need for more lies
I'll do as I will
An it harm none
I've been set free
My will,
Be done~A

I understand now, the legend of the succubus
And from whence it came
Being broken hearted, alone, and jaded
Can make a night stalking lunatic, of any dame
My heart has been stolen,
I'll never be the same
So now I wander the night,
With the "succubus" name
I'll slip into your dreams,
Make any man my prey
A female demon of the night,
Its the truth, what they say
A nocturnal dream,
I'll dance in your head
And when the sun shines,
I'll hide under your bed
I cannot love you,
As I have no heart
My heart was broken,
So now I roam the dark
We succubi, hide in the shadows,
Watching our game
We are all heartless creatures,
We feel no shame
Yes, I understand now the legend of the succubus,
And from whence it came
As my heart is gone
Now "succubus" is my name

My paper boat is sinking
In the mile deep salt
I'll drown soon
The moon
Only watches
Lusts
for the
Sun

I'm sorry,
I don't know how, to make amends
I'm far too sensitive, see too much
To have any "friends"
My mistakes,
Ingraved, in stone
I can never be forgiven,
Nor left alone
For these strange sins,
I cannot atone
Like the water,
That so loves the moon
Someone like me,
Can never dance in tune
Wierdo,
Beneath all others
I, am well aware,
But please, when I pass by
Could you kindly not stare
Do me this favor, just look away
As I'm well aware of my mistakes
And I know, I can never fit,
In this life of only "takes"

Crying tears of acid,
Beneath the burning sky
Watching with rage, the glowing embers
That seem to smile, floating by
Wishing for the doom,
Of everything in sight
Ripping the heart of innocence out,
Hungrily taking a bite
Deep within the folds,
Of my souls hidden pages
I hear the mournful cry of love lost
As the battle for goodness wages

I'm jealous
Of that tee shirt
The way it so carelessly lays
Against his ink covered skin
I wish I were that
Tee shirt

I'm that burn
Killing your smile
Turn you to ash
And I'll do it with style
Women like me,
Not a dime a dozen
Bend down for me, baby
Put your head in the oven
Crazy? Me?
You got that right
I'll light it up,
Burn it all through the night
Just when you think
The fires gone out
I'll wear your blood on my lips
With a grin, no pout
I'm that burn
Like vintage whiskey
Get closer baby,
C'Mon, kiss me~A

The stone Angel fascinates me
and repulses me
It stands about 8 feet tall in a fountain
Its made of white fake stone
It pees
He wears a gown and has wings
His white hands gather around his middle holding a far too small water jug
Unless your within 2 feet of it
You can't see the little stone jug
It stands at the Corner of Tennessee Avenue and Beech Street here
*******
in front of an ugly little strip mall
I walk by it and we smile together
That Angel and I
I said to it one day," How lucky you are to get to eternally **** on this MayBerry Hell"
He smiled back
He pees as the children play by
As temporary lovers hold hands
He pees as the old people hobble by with their canes
When giving directions, people here actually say,"You know, it's down by where that Angel pees." ***
Sometimes I wish I were he

So the other day I put on my big, black hat and hobbled down town
(Yep, hobbled as I fell stupidly playing in the yard pretending as though I was a kid and tore a ligament)
I donned my black chucks and I was hot **** again for a while
I threw on that big fur coat my grams left me And a few of her gaudy jewels
Anyhow, I went down to "L" street and sat on that bench again
The one in that make shift "park" where they lined up a bunch of big rocks and called it good
I sat and looked at that giant lady painted on the side of that falling down brick building for more than a bit
"L" street, The bad part of town where you can get anything
Not named L street because it's L shaped, but because of a pill that apparently makes you Tripp
I guess you can or could get them there, the L pills I mean
So I sat there thinking and being mad
Staring at that giant, painted, brown woman
She advertises tobacco from 80 years ago and she's almost gone
Flaking and peeling,
Pieces of her lost to the wind, and to time itself
She smiles
And she's beautiful
And I hate her
But since I was 15, She draws me to her
That Tobacco Lady, with her smile, and red dress and feathered hair
She always smiles
When it rains, she smiles
When it snows, she smiles
Hell, when half the ******* town burned
That ***** smiled
I cry, she smiles....

That Tobacco Lady

There's a woman, in the basement, still
Her screams, they wake me at night
She eternally beats on the walls
Yet, no freedom, none in her sight
33 days, kept in the damp,
The dark
Those 33 days of night,
Have forever left their mark
Her finger nails gone,
From scratching at concrete
I hear her praying
To the creator, she wishes to meet
Her voice loud, though hoarse and cracked
Ringing forever in my ears
And somehow, I know I'll hear her screams
Every night and day, All the rest of my years