I thought we would be it...
I was positive you were my forever.
How Naive.
I was willing to to overlook your past
Everyone deserves a second chance right?
Little did i know this was now your 20th chance.
You will never be able to let go of your past, too much damage has been done.
What hurts the most is how well you did at pretending.
Pretending you were capable of giving me all of you...
You had ever inch of my heart, body and soul.
How Naive.

Your smile made my heart happy.
Your laugh made my heart dance.
The way you looked at me made my heart want to leap out of my chest because my love for you was too much to contain.
You were amazing and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life feeling the warmth of you pressed against me.

Sometimes your eyes turned black and you were no longer him...

Your harsh words would make my heart sad.
Your angry voice would make my heart still and frightened.
The way you looked at me brought tears to my eyes.
I would try to hide them because no one wants a weepy sensitive girl.

Your eyes turned black in front of me for the last time the day you didn't see me anymore, i became just this thing in your way.
The ****** of your hands on my chest as I went flying into the wall.
I hate that I still love you and my heart is shattered.
I now want nothing more than to disappear.

We all have our demons and i knew yours were quite fierce.
No child should be forced to go through what you endured.
Forever changing who you could be and who you were capable of being.
I dont want to make excuses for that fire breathing dragon that consumes your soul, because in some ways i know he was always there.
Anger and pain is just sewn into the fabric of your being.
Saddest part is the glimmer of hopfullness, goodness and love that i know shines dimly  in the depth of your soul.
I know you wanted to love me the way i deserve, i dont doubt that at all, but you never had a chance.
You were never given the tools.
So you lie and manipulate.
You know no other way....