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How am I
supposed
to live for
something
when I die
five times
a day?

This repeating
image of
sanity
will drive me
     mad.
"A coward dies a thousand deaths."
“…wait, are you afraid of the dark?” he asked with a tone of disbelief.
“So what if I am?”
“Well, I'd say that's a shame. You allow your imagination to control you.”
She couldn’t disagree. He was right and she was embarrassed.
“turn off the light,”
silence.
"and just listen to my voice."
And she did.
 Mar 2014 Alixandra Cole
Riot
free
 Mar 2014 Alixandra Cole
Riot
she always looked so beautiful but she never believed.
if her smile was a word it would be: free.
everyone wanted to be her
and though she could not see
whoever saw her new the meaning of beauty.
but she’d still go home
feeling “unworthy”
because the kids at school said she was “too curvy”.
so she went home everyday
trying to change who she was
all her parents told her was “high school is tough”
the blood in her bathroom now cleaned back to white
she covers her arm
“mom i’m going out tonight”
all she wanted was to forget
she only had one cup
and before you know it
she was wasted as
forgetting everything she knew about life and it’s wonders
getting into the pool some one is pushing her head under
but no one is there  
she's alone
and alone she can think
about the beauty that she never had
the beauty that was weak
and if only she had her mirror
she would say
"wow, that's me"
but another day goes by
without her being who she can be
she always looked so beautiful but she never believed.
if her smile was a word it would be: free.
everyone wanted to be her
but now it's too late to see
because the broken glass in her bedroom was the vary thing
that gave her beauty
your beautiful no matter what
I was once beautiful
I was once free
Then you came
And took that from me

You said you loved me
And I was believer
Turns out I didn't see
That you were a deceiver

But the problem lies
That I've fallen for you
And I cannot deny
How I wish you loved me too

So now I am broken and lost
Running after you asking why
You turned this heart to frost
And just walked by

Me everyday, every moment
Joking with me as if I am meaningless
Keeping yourself on check--but you are no sant

–And I am not innocent–

Though the more and more I run
To convince you that it is not about the love--lack--but about why you did what you did to me knowingly that I will take it as you loved me
The more I seem desperate
The more I seem crazy
The more I lose my colors
The more I betray myself

And the less I seem like myself the
More you distance yourself from me
All because I want to know why
That merely makes my pain greater
Makes me despise myself more
For not being able to let it go.

I wonder why I do this
Why I try
But I am not like you
I cannot lie

So I love you
And you know
And I shame you
For hurting me so
And I forgive you
For leading me to this state
But I won't recover--don't ask me--it is too late.

Because:

I was once beautiful
I was once free
Then you came
And took all that from me.
Credits to Starseekeer.

— The End —