You look at me the way they do in movies, full of wonder and curiosity.  It scares me to think that someday you might see me the way he does now: the way I see myself.

Help is a four letter, one syllable word that carries the weight of the world.

She was born with and old soul
To die young
In a cruel world

In the light she both shimmered
And shriveled
Her name echoed off the lips of strangers

Each phrase was harsher than the last and
Cut deeper
Messages that she'd already written in her head.

Suddenly she couldn't see her path
She was lost
Her hands shook as she held them in front of her

Searching for help but all she found
Were thorns
So she retracted into herself

She swallowed nothing much except
Her words
Wincing at her own reflection in the eyes of others.

She became a wisp clinging to the grass
Lonely and sad
Gasping for affirmation

Blown away in the night's quiet whisper
She disappeared
The voices got louder, louder then ever

They bowed their heads and wiped their tears
"How tragic"
They said, as they moved on to the next.

How can one be showered in compliments,
Yet covered in shame?
The stains of self consciousness remain.

Light to the touch, weary and meak
Stumbling over words
That come in heaps rather than syllables.

Bent over and hunched, crumbling
Struggling to breathe in
The air is drenched with regret.

Liquid in our thoughts
Solid in our actions
Sharp to the point
Soft to the touch

Fluid in the matter
Choppy in the act
Faithful in our promises
Unreliable in our paths

Stop counting the roses that never came
Stop waiting on a perfect tomorrow.

Stop wiping away tears that are only half way out
Stop scratching at skin that doesn't even itch.

Stop listening to strangers with harsh messages
Stop trusting fools with guns.

I'm trying really hard
To put the cap back on the pills
To set the bottle down
To throw the razors in the trash.

I'm trying really hard
To look past the present
To block my memories
To move forward.

She's one of those charming tortured souls,
The ones with shadows in their eyes.

She drinks her liquor straight,
And she dances on her toes.

She'll flinch at the sound of a door,
But she smiles in dangers face.

She's a pretty little fool,
A sad little liar.

I'm going to erase your smile
Like it never even happened
Only god will know
And neither of us know god.

I'm going to fill the void
With sins and bad decisions
Only god will care
But neither of us know god.

Two sips away from poison
Two lies away from treason.

Two too many mistakes made for redemption
Two too many hands away from salvation.

Two minutes away from acception
Two seconds away from extinction.

She smiles coyly,
Playing with her wild tangly mane.

She ***** her head to the side,
Scoots a little closer and says:

"I'd like to think that I tend to trip more people
Than I fall for."

Mommy, I'm being bullied and I don't know what to do. I can't escape them and they know just what to say.

Dearest please explain, for your friends at school love you.... The teachers say you love to play.

Mommy you don't understand, they're deeper. Mommy they're in my head. I can't control them now and they all want  me dead

We tried so hard to stay afloat
Dodging the bullets that came spinning at our heads.

We tried to ignore the battle scars
That traced down the backs of our spine.

That final month I couldn't walk
I had nothing but open wounds.

I tried so hard to talk them out
You tried so hard to listen.

But words didn't come, instead there were daggers
I dragged you down one last time.

Now my name means nothing
For I left nothing but open wounds.

We're both bleeding.
But now we bleed alone.

Watery eyes stare at the ceiling
As aching limbs stretch across the bed
Grasping for a hand that left long ago

She would drown him in her own tears
Fighting for the light
That came at the end of a tunnel
Too long to walk alone

He held her hand just long enough
For the trust to be built
And when he felt her stumbling
He'd only hold on tighter.

One day the tunnel was particularly dark
And she particularly blind
He said I've had enough
And headed to the other side.

He'd been drowning far too long
It was time to take a breath
He tried not to care
If she got lost

Gone was her umbrella
Her protector

And she gasped for air as her tears began to drown her
She searched frantically for the arm she'd held so tight
Only to find her own feet beneath her
And a journey half finished

With each step she found her strength
She began to trust her own legs
Her tears began to clear
She could breathe again

They say tomorrow is full.
But today was empty.
They say that the future will be solid
But the present is hollow

Promises become tomorrow
Disappointment becomes today.
Happiness becomes the future
Loneliness fills the present

Forgive me when I say,
I can't take another today.

Are you really wasting time,
If you wander?

Are you really making memories,
Behind a desk?

Are you really doing nothing,
When you're laughing and thinking?

Are you really living,
When you work the 9 to 5?

Hollowed out ghosts linger on my tongue
And tickle my mind
Scratching at the back of my teeth
But never leave my lips.

Faded places writher in my eyes,
And seep into my thoughts.
Trickling down my hands
But never escape my fingertips.

I fell into a world
Where glass slippers
And shiny chariots existed
I danced on floors of marble
And crystals shown in chandeliers.

I spent awhile living in this dream
But glass shatters
And chariots became fuel guzzling cars
My feet grew sore on marble floors
And the crystals grew dull with dust.

I see the world around me
Progressing like the plague
I see the people smiling
Like its all okay.

I'm trying for tomorrow
But drowning in today
Caught by the undercurrent
Of yesterday.

"You're on the incline"
He said as I looked down into the abyss
He held my hand and stroked my face and told me that he cares
"I'll help you, we'll help each other"
He told me as I sunk into his arms.

Annoyance scratches at the back of my brain
All the things you say the way that they sound
Is disgusting
And beautiful
And I hate it.
The planned patience of every single word
Sounds pretentious and assuming.
I can't stand it.
I can't stand you.

Railroad tracks all down her wrists
Some raised so high she still trips a little
When she sees them.

Ghosts of past bruises haunt her skin
Some so raw she still flinches a little
When she thinks about them.

And the people stare as she shudders
She's faces the coldness of her past
With the brightness of the future.

And the bruises have faded
And the railroad tracks will
And she will smile.

its funny how a comment on a picture
can make you feel insignificant
how a significant other can look at someone else
the way they looked at you
and waves of jealousy strike
waves of inadequacy

Fair skin, dark eyes
Straight hair, crooked smile
Honest  face, wicked lies.

Sweet kisses move me like a lullaby
Midnight rushes over our eyes
And sits upon our brows
Tight arms surround
Gentle swaying in the moonlight
To the rhythm of romance
Let us dance in our dreams

"Diamonds are a girls best friend"
They tell me with smiles so bright they shine
But their eyes are cold and so are the jewels they hold.

Some boys on Abbey Road wrote about a lonely girl.
With diamonds and a sky of marmalade
But no one to hold.

And I have to think that if I had the choice
I'd rather stay on the ground
To have your hand to hold.

For diamonds are too cold
To sacrifice for love.

Stop. Evaluating. My. Thoughts.
They are not yours
They never were
They are mine.

Stop. Pretending. I'm. Yours.
I am not
I never was
I am my own.

Stop. Inviting. Me. To. Your. Hell.
I have declined
I will not ever accept
Mine is better.

Burn with the paper you write your notes on.
And leave me alone.

The lonely spaces between his fingertips
Invite her
The whirling of his blue eyes
Intrigue her
The mountains of his lips
Demand her
The softness of his touch
Devours her

Sleep taunts me and bad dreams haunt me
Lying awake only to fall into a nightmare
Waking up crying, screaming, panting
Grasping for air that can't come quick enough.