Why do we feign such rapturous delight,
in pretence to others that all is alright,
what if the soul is quietly suppressed,
cloaked in darkness, hidden and repressed,

Are we ashamed to drape the veil,
to retreat into darkness and embrace the pale,
truth can be found from deep in a frown,
so why wear the clothes and tears of a clown.

© H V Swan

i had your heart in my hands. and i dropped it in confusion.

number one, do not use depression as an excuse. do not use a flaw in chemistry to contaminate another soul.
second, a home is never a building. it's built a human, and it's constantly on the move - embrace changes. but like buildings, it may get demolished.
third, the hardest goodbyes are never bade. notice the colours fading, you're close.
number four, realise that the past is a broken record ought to be disposed.
fifth, all suppressed truths become toxic. not all harsh truths are better than lies, remember, telling a lie causes the liar to believe it. it might change him.
number six, emptiness is heavy. and feeling heavy weighs you down. $tay high, you'll feel lighter.
seventh, smiles are just expressions of joy. not radiating it leaves traces on your heart.

i had your heart in my hands, and i dropped it, i dropped it each time.

( FAH )

I
loathe
fighting with
my entire being.
Maybe because I have
never really been in a fight
just observed my parents, my
friends, everyone around me and
watched as the tension built and built
and built making me feel as small as a child
and as powerless too. People don’t understand
the consequences of their actions, I don’t understand
people. But, I understand fights. Words are like slingshots
catapulting friendships into dangerous territories the words you
say sometimes you mean them, sometimes you don’t and it’s the
words you mean that are the worst. Those are the words you can’t
take back.  And what I understand about fights taught me this. A fight
is like a symphony it builds and builds until its deafeningly loud, and then
its quiet, and there is nothing left leaving its audience unbearably sad and at a
loss.

If you reach up for the moon it doesn't seem so far.
I could grab a ladder
Or climb a tree.
It doesn't seem so big.