Loving you was the easy part. Admitting it was hard.
Hot chocolate. Strawberry Cream. Bubble Tea
I was drowning in your ocean. You were the blind lifeguard
You knew your oblivion, and so did I. Roses on the thorn tree.

I just think that I don't know how to think
I feel like feeling is all but an unexplained thought
I feel like I have an undying thirst, but all I do is drink
Drink, and drink… almost as if expecting a drought

I turned loving you into my life
I felt that it was gone when you were
I thought that love was only when I thought of you as my wife
You sheltered my storm, you brought clarity to my blur

I got so addicted so quick
My daily medication
Till I met you, I didn't know someone can make you feel homesick
Mine. Justification without the explanation

I loved you in real life, and even in my best fantasy
It made me hate love, for destroying the idea of you as my forever
I wanted to experience with you. Greece, Hawaii, to the Annecy.
Hi. Bye. Love. Hate. Now. Never

Yes, I wanted to discover the world with you.
All I thought about was you. Nothing new. Nothing old
I felt that I lost myself when I thought I lost you
My feelings were so out of the blue.
Cloud. Sunflower. Pink Marigold

The wait.
Is what I hate.
Do I go or not?
One or four fruit?
Quick! Before they all rot.
“Wait”, he says. “Wait”, she says.
But my patience is eaten by fear.
It doesn’t make any sense. Every nerve is tense.
Tell me the end is near.
When the end arrives, has my end only begun?
An end to the boring wait, but the end to my fun?
Stop being indecisive. Stop with the “I don’t know”.
Determines if in the end I do live. It’s not a way for me to live.
Tell me all your thoughts and feelings. And in return, my emotions will show.
Make it end! Make it start! Even if I have to change.
Tell me if we end up together or apart.
For you, what do I have to exchange?
My heart?
Friends.
The end has come. It’s no longer near.
Did I get what we wanted? Or what I deserve?
At this point, I honestly don’t care.
The wait.
Is what I hate.
But if it means getting you back...start it over my dear.
One or four fruit? As I sit in the waiting chair.

I smile even when it’s the last thing on my mind.
But it’s fake.
I love even when the same energy isn’t being given.
Big mistake.
Maybe I laugh because each time I hope my happiness will stay and become real.
Maybe it’s easier to think everything is a joke than to actually feel.
Why do I write my thoughts?
Why does it fall in rhyme?
Gives me a place to breathe. Feel a sense of peace one last time.
I’m on an unexplained mission. Searching the petals and waters for a sign.
Have you seen a love that is sweet, and divine?
Why did love make it so easy to fall in it? I love because and even though.
I love everything my lover does. Any wishes they have, i’ll never say no.
Allergic to heartbreak.
Yet addicted to love.
Medicine to every headache.
Yet it’s never enough.
Sanity to my insanity.
My heart starts to wonder.
How to stand the rain. How to get over somebody.
Because all I’ve ever known was under.
This class of love is confusing. Why can’t I ever learn?
In this game, I always feel like i’m losing. And I never even got a turn.
So I’ll smile when it rains, and I won’t deny that it’s fake.
I’ll repeat the same mistake, and drive on love, although everyone is telling me to break.
Most importantly, I’ll stop loving you. For mine, and God’s sake.

Is it scary? How safer I feel with the dark?
That I always went for the kids, and never the park?
Trapped by people on the other side. Who loved the outside, and not the inside.
What is light? Its strangeness cases me to hide.
And run back to the shadows, where I usually fall back, and abde.
But, if I decide to ride the rollercoaster? Light or dark ride?
Do I need to close my eyes? Pretend my shadows are by my side?
Is it bad that I have more than one shadow? If I said I didn’t, I lied.
Sneezing, I flinch, and close my eyes. Embracing the light, the same rules are applied.
I’d run into the dark with no thought of light, but what if there is someone new that I have not met?
What if she wants me to give you my shadows? And I fall into her bright, but gloomy net?
What if I trade my soul for her dark light? What if she wants to wager? Wants to bet?
What if she makes me believe that the dark is not bad after all? So her presence I’ll let.
No rules are set… yet.
I need to forget everything that I have been told. She would want me to leave my thoughts of light to join her life.  
Dark, irresistible features. Beautiful, but cold. She would want me to leave my place here, to be her wife.
But that’s no life.
Look at the dark in me. Look at what could be my light.
I know that I put the darkness there. I know that it’s a self-inflicted fight.
Will I ever turn my darkness to light? My moon to Sun?
Will every shadow, every part be gone? Every single one?
With my thoughts of light as my enemy, my ally. Strength, and weakness. Will I stand or run?
When all my light goes dark, or all my dark goes light, will the war be done?
Who will be the one who won? Am I the one? Who’ll be entirely light? Or dark? Who will choose all or none?
I guess that I am lark and dight. I guess both is right. I will be unmarried, but still be a wife.
But that’s no life.

Can we be friends again?
I used to think I could never just be your friend.
But we can. Before all that other **** occurred.
Is it a one-sided hurt? You looked fine the whole time. It’s absurd.
Every night since, I shed one less tear. What is now easy, was once hard.
This is my way of telling myself that I can’t bring you back with a letter, or card.
Did you dream about our end? Did you practice or rehearse?
Since when does forever mean temporary? Hearing your name always made it worse.
My forever is infinity. When I said I could love forever, I meant it.
Why couldn’t you imagine a future with us, meanwhile I had always dreamt it.
I’m still learning to forget. You. Us. The Misunderstanding. The summer trip.
The summer of fried chicken, and waffle cones. Ice cream, but not a single chocolate chip.
You made me run into the thing I’ve been running away from.
We ended up becoming the exact thing I tried hard not to let us become.
You were helping me control it, but the you started adding to my stress.
Is it bad that I want to forget out beautiful mess?
I wasn’t your first. You weren’t my last.
I admire how you made love, and heartbreak look easy, but how’d you move on so fast?
We were good while we did last. I’m not broken anymore. Someone else gave me a cast.
I’m proud to say that I live in the current year now. No longer in the past.
You swam with me in the ocean of love, but left me drowning in all the feels.
I only want to go back to when I didn’t question if love was real.
So I’ll be refilling my heart with the love that you did steal.
Don’t get mad when you see someone else causing my broken heart to heal/
So forget about me. And I’ll try to forget about you. But I’ll still question if love is real.
Deal?

I thought love would excuse stupidity,
Never thought it’d be the other way around.
I thought love was the reason for and why,
Loving someone blinded by what they think love is, is something I wouldn’t want to do
I see it now. I’m sorry now. For what i did to you and everything I put you through
I was never good enough. I would’ve understood if you’d dubbed me.
I changed myself. For you. All I wanted was for you to just love me.
I thought love was the reason for and why.
Now everything is different. Hello, new you. Old feelings, for now...goodbye.
Anything to keep your smile. Anything to stop your cry.
Somebody tell me that I’m doing the right thing at the right time. Please don’t lie.
Tell me that we’ll meet again. Old feelings, new you. Some other time.
Would it be crazy to jump knowing there’ll be a fall?
I’m getting addicted. I’ll never be sober. Am I risking none or all?
Our harmony was worth the change. I guess i made the wait to hear our song.
Are you the answer to my question? Maybe you’re the right to my wrong.
To recover from your drugs of love and distraction, I find myself taking more.
You are more than enough. Why do I know that from my core?
I was broken. I was slowly dying, yet alive.
I was lost. I was suffocating, yet breathing.
Are you mad at me? Or what I caused you to think or feel?
Are you mad at what we’re not? Maybe I go to sleep wishing something in my life is real.
Every breath, my lungs are filled with fire, and water, instead of air.
Why? That everytime I tried to call out, you’d hear? Only you cared.
The truth is, I started to fear. I realized I didn’t want to share.
But the truth is, I realized that I’m actually scared.

Medicine on the floor.
Medicine by the door.
Wait. What for?
It’s going to work? Are you sure?
Sure, I need more…
More, of what I can pour.
Pour, upon the poor. Of which I need to ask for
Medicine wasted. Is that something new? Or…
The reason why I’m feeling sore.
But I know from my core, that I need more…
Medicine to be on the floor.
Medicine to be by the door.
For something in my life to be sure.

I don’t want to laugh if it’s not with you.
I don’t want to smile if it’s not with you.
My love for you...it’s air.
I can’t live without it,
It keeps me going.
It’s scary what I’m feeling.
I’m not sure of a lot of things,
Except for you.
My feelings are air as the real we breathe.
You actually change the speed of my heart.
Pools for eyes, touch to drive me mad, and to get anything you want, you know to use your smile.
Not perfect to you, but perfect to me. Flawless. If not...perfect flaws. Hair. Highlight of my day.
Why is it, that the thought of you makes me lose my self control?
Even though i’m not, i can't think straight.
I can’t hide my feelings for you.
First and last thought of the day. First but never last on my list…
But if there’s only one on my list...then aren’t you last?
Would you believe me, or laugh if I said you're the fairest of them all
Your laugh does wonders. Your touch does miracles. Your smile keeps me sane.
Everytime I see you, I feel like i'm flying. But it’s weird because i know that i'm falling.
If I had one wish in the world, no hesitation it’d be to see you everyday
Given the chance, I’d listen to your heartbeat on repeat.
You always stood apart from the rest.
Just let me, and i'll love you. Even when i hate myself...maybe even more
I know I can’t live without air...but i’ll rather have you.
You’re the one I need for sure.

One day someone will read my life in these words and fall in love
But what they won’t know is that this person is no longer here and now above

Play with you in the game of love? Sure, what's the big deal?
Yes, I understand that nothing is real
That's rule number one? I don't see the goal, but I know that I'll win
Yes, I'm used to securing my heart. I give a confused grin
How do we start? How do I even play?
Second rule is a reminder of the no love rule in the game of love?...Ok
Wait... all we have to do is spend time with each other?
Man, that's so easy, I might introduce this game to another
Wait a second
Did you know that your hair's color changes as the seasons do?
Even the snow tries to touch you.
You make the world seem brand new
I like when you sing like no one is watching
How you dance like you're alone
I'm the best me, with you
You're my new definition for home
The trees and flowers try to reach you
One look at you and that's the perfect explanation
I can't use the L-word, but what's another word for this sensation?
Ugh, forget the game, I know I love you
Forget both rules, there's nothing above you
What do you mean I lost? The game just started
That can't possibly be the goal... to end up broken-hearted?
Now there is a hole in my chest that screams to curse your name
And the pain
And the wicked game, that like your heart, is the same
You're leaving? But the game is not over, it had just begun
Find another to play with because you don't love me?
But I wanted you to be the one
What happens if I can never play with anyone else?
What happens then?
I hate this stupid game. No, I can not just be your friend
Destined for doom.
What kind of game, before the start, has an end?
Okay, the day has come.
I'm over you, but you still can't be my friend
What do you mean that you've always loved me?
What do you mean that you honestly want my love again?
Oh, I get it, I'll give you a ten
It's all apart of the game?
You can't fool me twice. I've learned that love is pain
So, jokes on you now, I know that everyone is the same
It took all of me to forget you. But who should be ashamed?
I'm not.
Because now you're in love
With the newest winner of the heartbreaker's game

Your touch is like something from above
How come you have me wrapped up in something called love?
It’s what I’ve been trying to avoid
But when I started talking to you all my plans were destroyed
Why does this mean so much?
All these emotions from just one touch
Face like an angel, eyes purer than the sea
You have no idea what you mean to me
You are my baby and you will always be
You are my baby and the source of my sanity
I can’t share you, I’m sorry I’ve tried, but I’m selfishly in love
Love, good explanation of how I’m hellish, but it’s enough
A lot of definitions of love, but compared to my feelings, they make no sense
If we could only change the past, I'd remove my fence
Only I could go back in time, give my past self some advice
I’d say not to take advantage of how you made the bad things in my life nice
I’d say you never know what you have until it’s gone, so stop all your wars
I’d say because in the future, your baby won’t be gone, it’s just that your baby won’t be yours
Trust me it hurts way more when you know you could’ve prevented it
So I’d say to keep loving you with all the love I got, and to stop all my ****
Just wanted to say I love you, that’s it
And it increases every day, not just a tiny, but a little bit

I'm sorry.
That I made you love me, when I didn't love myself.
That you showed me your vulnerability because I made you think that there was no one else.
I'm sorry for laughing, when I should have been crying.
For leaving, and running away, when it was my fault all along.
For making you feel like you weren't good enough, and everyone else was right, and you, wrong.
That I made you think you were bad for me, when it was the other way around.
I'm sorry.
For misleading you, and making you lost, when you wanted to be found.
For hurting you, when I swear I just wanted to love you.
I'm sorry I let you think anyone could touch you, or that there were some above you.
That I whispered poems of love, but I had ambivalent feelings.
For reopening, and worsening all your cuts, and wounds, that I should have been healing.
That I was closed off. That we wasted each other’s time.
For pretending that I was soft. For only making sense in my rhyme.
I'm sorry.
That I kept my promise of not breaking promises, and instead, I broke your heart.
That I robbed you from experiencing true love, and that my intentions were not good from the start.
I'm sorry for making you think that everything was okay, and then doing the unthinkable.
For letting you believe in me, when I should have let you know that I was broken, and unpredictable.
That now, you don’t trust anybody. That you think it’s better not to put yourself out there.
For making you not want to love again. For making you feel like you had to share.
That it’s not fair. I'm sorry again. I know I don’t deserve to, but I think of you every day.
I'm sorry that I always ruin everything, and now that’s all I can say…
I'm sorry.

It's too much.
Maybe I feel too much.
Maybe I am too much.
Do I hear, or see too much?
Are you too much?
I'm not ready.
Maybe.
For you. For me. For us.
But mostly me.
I'm too much.
So I think by not thinking.
And I think it's too much.
But I think that we're just fine.
I think that it's enough.
Maybe.
We're a flawed perfect.
Maybe I love you.
I feel too much.
I am too much.
I hear, and see too much.
But you're not too much.
So I'm ready. For you. For me. For us.
But mostly us.

If I could capture every wave
But only enough for a lifetime
I’d free the ocean’s slave
Under the temptation of making it mine.
I’d sail the sea to find the one
Who’s voice dies in the wind
Yet calls out to the waves, and the Sun
To repent for all it has sinned.
I’d embrace the life, the death
The love, and disaster in between
I’d take away heartbreak’s breath
Transform it into love, amongst the blues of foam, and green.
I’d release it’s adventures, and songs of wreck
Uncover every secret that was kept under
Slow down time, but just for a sec
Expose the naked beauty of the thoughts of blunder.
I’d let it’s sound echo far, and wide
Just to make people wonder
About the ocean’s stride
The self-dedication to capture the thunder.
At every crash, you’re forced to embrace the tidal knife
So if I could capture every wave
But just enough for the rest of my life
I’d fall in love with the ocean’s slave
With the temptation of making it my wife.

Missing you proves that love exists because I loved you when you were gone
I’m sorry I give you competition when it comes to loving yourself
It’s hard to think of anyone else when my heart knows that you’re the only one...
for me? You made me the best version of myself
And helped me fight the battles of reality
They just started
But I already lost.

What’s it like to wish a day away, and find out it wasn’t worth it?
To give all your love to somebody, knowing deep down, that they don't deserve it?
Have you entered something through motivation that was only expedient?
Continued in a relationship, while knowing that love was the missing ingredient
Ignored all the warnings, and screaming signs, only to fall in love with thought, and potential
Put yourself in detrimental situations, and denied yourself of missing things, that you knew were essential
Been in a one-sided relationship. Loved someone at their best, and even at their worst
Produced the most pure love imaginable, but still they wouldn’t put you first
Gave everything, just to lose yourself a little bit
I know what it's like to wish a day away... and it wasn’t worth it

I went to bed hoping that I would dream dreams of love
I woke up back to the nightmare that was my reality
Each day I wished that I was enough
And fell in love with the thought of you loving me
I excused all your faults and all the signs in red
I pretended that I cried for me, and not for you
I forgot to love me and focused on loving you instead
But you don't understand how easy it is to need you
To love you
Or to think of happiness without you
But I guess, you weren't mine to keep
Too bad, I was looking for half of me in you
While I ignored the whole of me
You were only here when you felt lonely
And when you needed to be held, after given something to fear
Perhaps, it is me to blame
For falling in love with a nightmare
Who goes by your name

I knew the love was not mutual
I know, sometimes it’s hard to love when you don't love yourself
Never thought that my love could be perceived as unusual
Promise that you didn't pick me because there was no one else
I know that logic, and emotion doesn’t walk hand in hand
But why stand at a closed-door when mine is opened?
Maybe it’s better if things don’t go as planned
You were my sunlight in the rain, the reason I had hope, and coped and
The reason I learned that life’s treasures don't last forever
I saw myself as unworthy of your love when I had it twisted
I paid attention to your “ok”s and every “whatever”
I know you can’t force what’s not there… but I thought we existed

She said, I'm sorry that I loved you
I said I’m sorry that I didn't

You clap as it destroys. You laugh as its flames soar higher
You want the smooth cheater. You love the beautiful liar
But if that’s what you love now, is that who I have to be?
Do I have to make you feel bad about yourself and become your enemy?
Hell Nah. I’m good. It’s sad that you’d love me even though
You’d love me the most when my worst emotions start to show
You’d love me when I scream and kiss me when I yell, or
Do both and not once question the person that you fell for
I have the love to satisfy your deepest wishes. With me, it’s all or none
But I can not bring myself to hate or curse you. Sorry to ruin your fun
Even though I know it’s too late, maybe we’d get the chance we deserve
Please yell at me for my regrets and mistakes. Say that I’m on your last nerve
Stop loving me unconditionally when I make you cry at night
About that other girl who never bothered to make things right
Say you’re disappointed and that you hate the bad things I do
And then I’ll get on my knees and say the rehearsed apology I was supposed to
Before you beg to differ, I’ll give you my broken heart and apologies for making you suffer
I’ll say sorry for picking the cold one. And when I denied you to proclaim my love for her
I’d apologize for leading you to that monster
I’d acknowledge everything you’ve done for her
And for your broken heart, I’d gladly be your comforter
And when you unashamedly tell me again how you feel
While cupping your tears, I’d say it’s mutual. And this time, for real

Is that your voice I hear?
...Or is it me deceiving myself again
The corners show me how to care
For those who rejoice at the thought of my end
But I don’t care.
And it is I, who will rejoice
I’ll abandon you, to love the exact fear that you send
But it’s my choice to iterate your voice
And run towards a dead end

She fell in the hole again
But this time she knew where she fell
She embraced the shadows, the dark, her end
Her old, and newest demons as well
In the hole again, with another knife in her back
Why did she never learn?
Back again, she'll come.
But with a third knife in her back.
Always on the wrong track.
She wants to go back but she can't turn
She'd keep touching the fire knowing she'd get burned

Tell me that you love me, scare me to think you want the fire
I only love those I can turn into a beautiful crier
So if pain, hurt, and destruction is your desire
I’ll play my game.
You feed my flame.


I hope I don't purposely fry her

You could break me twice if that’s what you desired
You could have brought me to my lowest low and I’d still put you higher
You could rip my heart out and I’d believe that it’s right
For loving you whilst you hurt me is how I brought my heart delight

I don't know who I am.
I don't know who’ll I’ll be.
I don't know you, even more.
It’s surprisingly scary what you mean to me.

Brain Storm
Storm in Brain
The Brain's storm
Storms The Brain
In Brain the Storm
The Storm's Brain

I celebrate myself and sing myself
Yes, me, the one living to fulfill her own expectation
The one who laughs, and sees the fun in the worst situations
With a fear of being scared, and scared of being alone
Alone, I was born... and yet alone, I am scared
Scared of things I can not control, and things I can not predict
Yet I live for unexpected opportunities and people I can die with
I  don't need anyone else, and for that, I celebrate myself
But I want the presence of somebody else, and for that, I celebrate myself
For there was a time in which I couldn't separate my wants from my needs
And in that time, I remember a world of toxicity and greed
Life of the party I am
And eager to post about myself on the gram
But not the self who comes from a broken, lost world
Not the hesitant truster who dances among elements of confusion
How is it that I like being alone, but I hate when people leave
I've looked happy since the third grade and mentally aware since the eighth
I used to laugh, hoping my happiness would stay and become real
It was easier to joke around and so I avoided every chance to feel
Sports became my tattoo for happiness
Before the thrill, I used to think
That if I could smile through the rain and get over my problems
Then the storm, the rain, and the clouds will pass
But that's definitely not how I think now, and hopefully not how I'll think in the future
Because I've learned that it's okay to not be okay
And that after every missed catch, there is always going to be another
So I'll be better than I was
Now I acknowledge the past, live in the present, and hope for the future
And for that, I celebrate myself and sing myself

I tried ignoring you.
Pretending you didn't exist.
That we never happened.
It didn't work.
It doesn't make sense, but it's harder to leave you alone
I wanted you in whatever form I could get
How are you blinded from what your poison does to me
It's like you don't care
Why are you so quick to cut me off?
Do you not love me?
I want you for who you are
You say one thing, and do the next
If I only chase you, why are you worrying about those I chased?
Why is it so difficult?
What do I do now?
How do I act?
Why are you so worried about them and not us?
You know I care about you when I hate myself
You know that I pay more attention than you do to yourself
But why is your pride so big?
Why do you care about caring
That's your problem
Love shouldn't be like this.

What is it about you?
That makes you appear where not even my shadow goes?
That makes me yearn for you when I'm empty and full
Thoughts of you washes from my river where my love for you flows
So I hang my nights on a line
Hoping to reach the end where you and I meet
I miss breathing your air
The air that hurts so that it’s hard to breathe
Those eyes remind me of a girl I fell in love with on a day we don't remember
A girl that not even time could slow down
With eyes that could stop my heart, and change my life forever
She grips my life like a toothbrush
The world will hush
As she makes you rethink your whole existence, and purpose
What is it about you?
That makes you redirect my orbit
That makes you the sun my worlds revolve around
I’ve been avoiding this
Trying not to write about you
Because eventually I’d have to admit
That my obsession isn’t healthy
That without you, I feel empty
But I don’t want to
Because there was a time that I breathed without your air
There was a time that I did not care
If I lived or not
If I loved or not
But now I do
Because you gave me reason, and purpose
So how do I live without it?
How do I live without you?

You’re in pain
I know
Partially because I’m to blame
I’m why you sit in the dark replaying all your faults and all your mistakes
I’m why you’re remembering every “I love you” and picking out which is real and which is fake
And they’re all fake. Don’t ask me how I know. That’s just the way it is
See, I wanted to love you, but I didn’t want the burden that comes with it
The burden of carrying something more special than my hands were made to hold
So when I’m done repenting, I’ll turn over my life for you to scold
But you’re not going to. You’re going to hug me and say it’s okay
You're going to say that you love me and I can't change that, no matter what I say
Because it’s who you are. Perfection at its finest
Next to your kindness is me, a shadow in my wrong
Knowing that I feel for you, even when my shortcomings feel long
I know you feel for me too. You love the code to your destruction
I bring balance. In some twisted way, you need me to function
I knew that, and yet I watched you blindly walk on the road to your innocent love’s end
I watched you dance in the dark. I saw you fall in love with heartbreak’s friend
I knew it didn't have to be like that. I knew I had a flexible position
Instead. I denied my love for you, and for your emotional death, I started the ignition
I'm sorry that I said I loved only her and not you
It’s just that my love was blinded by another
She dried my tears. You healed the wounds in my mind. Somehow neither the perfect lover
I let you meet the friendly stranger. The one known for its addicting danger
But that’s what you like, and that’s what you desire
Beautiful liar
You go deeper in the water and you love messing with fire

Is that your voice I hear?
...Or is it me deceiving myself again
The corners show me how to care
For those who rejoice at the thought of my end
But I don’t care.
And it is I, who will rejoice
I’ll abandon you, to love the exact fear that you send
But it’s my choice to iterate your voice
And run towards a dead end

Quiet House
Closed Door
Empty Sneakers
Hot Room
Spinning Fan
Soft Whispers
Limited Time
Impatient Teenagers
Idle Thoughts
Wandering Minds
Innocent Intentions
Hesitant Lips
Dry Throats
Impure Actions
Sweaty Skin
Burning Foreheads
Pressed Bodies
Rosy Cheeks
Open Eyes
Tangled Legs
Messy Hair
Intertwined Hands
Rumbling Stomachs
Warm Feet
Full Hearts
Undying Love.

No thinking
I'm trying
Still drinking
I'm buying
It's ringing
Complying
It's thrilling
Brain frying
It's killing
I'm sighing
It's fitting
Applying
Not willing
I'm lying
No kidding
Mouth drying
I'm sinning
Unprying
Not winning
I'm tying
I'm sinking
Eyes crying
Eyes blinking
Sickening
I'm flying
I'm singing
But dying

Do you hear how loud it gets when the silence devours the sound?
How lonely you really are... even when there’s everyone imaginable around?
How weak you become when you fight against yourself.
How you're your own best friend, and enemy, but still, you want to be someone else.
The poisonous love your demons give you, somehow brings you life.
They tell you that you have deeper wounds than those birthed by the sharpest knife.
Continuous never-ending decisions that trap you in a cycle of regret.
You say you like the dark, but you just haven’t seen the light yet.
You tell the shadows that you’ll do better, when you promised yourself that you won’t.
You say that you’re the only one that understands yourself, when you know **** well, you don't.
You like the way you bite love.
Maybe you like the way love bites.
You like the pressure, the pain, the game, the way it excites.
Crying is a way for you to be happy.
Living is how you die.
Balance is the key to destruction.
The truth is just a lie.
Blow out the candle and look into the mirror
That’s the only way to see her.
She’s not afraid of you.
She’s afraid of reality, and what you’ll see in her.
She sees you when there’s no one.
You see her when there’s everyone.
But every time you approach her, you realize gratefully...
that there’s no one.
That is... except you.

If you listen close enough, you’ll hear my ocean of sadness
Crashing my joy with its waves of pain
Under the moonlight of desire

Share your secrets with me
And I'd keep them from the world

Dream your dreams with me
So that I could catch you if you fall

Tell me your fears
And I’ll be your armor

Whisper your deepest, darkest thoughts
And I’ll save you from yourself

Show me your insecurities
And I’ll give you my eyes so that you can see your perfections

Love me with all of you
And I promise I’d do the same

Your warmth
My habitual coldness
Skin to skin
Fast heartbeats
Unsatisfied hands
Soft kisses
But now passionately racing
Delicate touches
But now desirous grabs
Our bodies pressed together
Your hands... tangled in my hair
My hands... wrapped around the curves of your shape
The very shape you don’t know is perfect
You use harsh eyes to critique the beauty
You roll your eyes when I acknowledge your physical art
It’s okay, you don’t know yet
You haven’t stepped outside to see the heavenly grace
You can’t see how you make sunsets jealous
Or how you cause the waves of the ocean to quiver next to you
But that’s why i’m here.
To love you, to tell you that and to help you understand why.
So, I love you
I love this.
Me and you.
You and me.
Us.
It just makes sense in this world of chaos.
You save me from myself
You make my thoughts harmless
You give me a reason to smile in my nightmares
You’re why I’m becoming less afraid
And more confident...
In love
In life
In me
Thank you