Someday
You will stare
Deep
Into that empty night of
Loneliness,
And your heart will
Utter
The same sad questions
That we all ask.
But,
You will never need
To ask,
"Will no one ever care."
And don't even
Wonder,
"Will someone adore me.".
Don't ever
Question,
"Will someone value me."
No,
You need never
Say
Such things-
For there will always be
Me.

Crickets sing midnight songs
With melody of
"Chee-cee,
Chee-cee,
Chee-cee."
The rain drops
Slide off leaves
Above and
Splat
With rhythm of
Plot plot,
Plot plot.
The gravel recites
A raspy verse
With a crinkle crunch,
Crinkle crunch
Under my step.
I think I am alone,
But for these
Soft voices singing
Sorrowful lullabies
As I walk the long path
To dawn.

I brought you my words;
I wrote them with love
And drew them in hope,
They sang as in verse.
I felt pride and  fear
As I held them out
In my hands for you.
But you would not look
And would not see them,
You just took a pass
And chose to spurn them.
So,
I let go my words.
They fell like old leaves
To lay in the street
For the wind to take,
And blow to far shores.
But new words came back
From lands strange to me,
And men I knew not.
They gave praise and thanks,
They said that my words
Found homes in their hearts,
Brought light to their dark,
And hope to their night.
I was glad for their words-
I wish they were yours.

Some men have a recipe-
It is like a combination
That makes up their ideal
Which says she is gorgeous.
Such things they may itemize;
A face that is angelic,
With eyes that are lustrous          
Full lips of pure seduction,
A voice that is musical,
And hair that falls pleasingly,
It is a child's attitude
That says things make somebody.
I need no such formula
For in you I discovered
A heart that was beautiful;
Which the made me realize
That your face is radiant,
Your eyes are dark mystery,
Your voice is a symphony,
Your hair flows down gracefully,
And your lips are perfection.
I found your heart wonderful
And then I found everything
That a man could desire.

When my wife finds out
How much I care for you
She will yell and curse
And throw things at me,
Then just scream "get out
And don't you come back!"
I will be a mess-
Sad, and full of needs,
You won't want me then.
I will lose the house,
I will lose my job,
And all of my friends.
I will walk the streets
And eat from trash cans,
And sleep in the park.
My food will be wine,
My drink will be ***,
I will have no name.
My dreams will be done,
Shot down by the cops
When they lock me up-
Since I beg for change.
I will tell it all
To the skid row men,
They will say, "Wow, dude.
She cost you so much."
Next they will ask me,
"Was she worth it?"
I will say each time,
"Yes, she was worth it."

I can still remember
It was like yesterday
The last time I saw you
Over twenty years ago.
You were so drunk
You could barely speak.

I will never forget the call
When she told me you died.
A needle did you,
Drugs took you.
"Don't cry for him." she said,
"He was just a ******
He made his choices"
"He was just a loser,
An alcoholic."

I knew you like no one else;
We rode bikes together,
And together we fought,
The Ramirez boys after school,
We shared a room,
We shared parents,
When dad died we shared fears.

I used a credit card
To pay for your cremation;
And burned up someone who
Was once a beautiful child.

True artist require a muse for light,
A spirit directing them to the edge;
Where regions unexplored are bound in dark
And beauty undefined wait to be found.
Some struggle forever in the long search.
But ever wonderful is he who finds
That blessed connection where soul meets life;
As stewards creating the best of man
They become legendary, and points of hope.
I believe beautiful works are in me,
And also aspire to find my muse
To provides genesis for some great task.
I squandered everything in the long search;
I studied, reflected and looked in books,
I practiced disciplines and prayed to God,
But became so defeated I gave up hope
And sadly surrendered what I might do.
Then angles delivered me from my doom
By sending another to teach me life
For something occurred when I met you-
A living example of life as art.
While midnight mystery shines in your eyes,
Your laughter translated my grief to song.
Your gentle, generous touch gave me hope.
No other enthralled me like you have.
You alone inspire me to great things.

If it has ended now
And we stop being friends,
Just tell me clearly please;
For love has blinded me,
I will not plainly see
That it has ended here.
I'm such a hopeful man
And will keep dreaming on,
So, say for certain please-
That this sweet friendship died;
There is no going back.
Too late to admit wrong,
(I am the guilty one
The fault was always mine).
Tell me to forget hope-
That the walls between us
Are stone hard, fiery hot,
And they will never fall.
Tell me to reject you,
And to not trouble you
That I should ramble off
And just go away far.
So, say it bluntly please,
If it has happened that
We are no longer friends.

When you and I kissed
You were made of moonlight.
We shared a sweet embrace;
Your face was so lovely
Your eyes had such beauty
Your lips were so perfect
And I was made helpless.
You and I drew closer
Your breath was sweet fragrance
Then our lips met gently
The touch was pure music.
We held that kiss ageless,
All time was a moment.
The light in you faded
Then I woke up crying
With tears on my pillow
A soul in the darkness.
I know you will refuse
I know I will offend
No, this kiss won't happen-
Not when I am awake.

If I knew,
A poem

If I knew you loved me
I could face war and come back
To you a hundred times.
If I knew you loved me
I’d work like a dog ten days a week
To buy you little treasures.
If I knew you loved me
I would do all I know to be
The man you could be proud of.
If I knew you loved me
I would write you poems each dawn
And sing to you as the sun set.
If I knew you loved me
I would become a better man than
I ever, ever have been.
If I knew you loved me
I would come straight home,
Sober, every day after work.

Adron

To My Wife, Why I Kissed That Girl
A Poem

You gave me no kiss good-by
You were in a hurry to go out.
You gave me no kiss good night,
I saw you were too tired again.
You gave me no kiss with coffee,
You were late for work again.
You gave me no kiss when you came,
You had a such a bad day.
You gave me no kiss when I came,
You were too busy with the kids.
You gave me no kiss again
Now all we have left is good by.

Do not invite me to your wedding, for
I will refuse to come and attend it.
I have reasons that keep me away, but
Do not mistake, they are not spiteful ones.
I'm not jealous of your love either- since
He'll be handsome, and a good honest guy,
He'll be cleaver, and full of funny jokes,
He'll be decent, a man of perfect ways,
He'll have success and he can provide; so
You should devote your life to treasure him.
I'll be thankful for you every day; and
I will rejoice that you are happy and
Have found someone who so well matches you.
Please don't invite me to your marriage for
I couldn't bear to sit there watching you
And him standing up there to declare that
You now belong to just each other, and
You vow before God to be faithful; and
That you promise to love and cherish him.
Do not request that I come attend; for
No thought ever could make me sadder than
That the person you shall wed isn't me.

You look at the sky and it all seems pleasant;
You do not know there is a storm coming,
Nor guess at how long will last her results.
She's like a song that you hear in the distance,
With words that turn to mist then to woman
And takes form and stands when you are not ready.
Yet to see her drift my way makes me rejoice;
With eyes closed to the risk I make her welcome.
She's a wind that comes to me like a dancer
Her stage is the air and stars give her rhythm,
She is a breeze that comes and blows the papers,
And makes a mess of the room by her laughter.
I want to be the place where she finds comfort,
And to be the place where she can find stillness.
But like a day in spring she must go quickly;
And as she drifts past I am left dry and empty.
This was a wind that blew me out of order
And left in my heart a dark storm of despair;
I will not judge her for she is not guilty-
It was I who like a fool sought the gale.
A wise man would see risk and lock the window,
He would bar the door shut with ten inch nails.
A smart man would move out of there far away,
And be sure to tell no one his new address.
Not me, I stand at the door lost and hopeless
Where I pray to the soft wind that she returns.

The Hug, a Poem of Regret

The hug was a surprise to me,
Your words took me off guard.
But I could not embrace you back
Your touch made me afraid for you.
I thought friends would condemn this hug.
What if their mean comments hurt you?
Such long years are between us both;
You are full of springtime and youth,
I have spent my seasons by now
And I fear none remain to share.
A gap has grown between us both.
Did you think I reject your act?
Or that I am without a heart?
Or did you start doubting my care?
Did you go then feeling a fool?
None of those thoughts are true!
For me it was above all hugs.
I have had such regrets since then-
Each day I must wonder, "What if..."
I wish I had hugged you back.

Once you touched me.
I still feel it softly.
In my memory,
This touch on the arm;
Was it just casual?
I’ll always wonder.
It almost spoke out,
As if to say, “Hi,
I see you,” and more,
And I hoped it said
You sort of liked me.
But that touch spoke
No language I knew;
No true translation
Exist for its word.
Though its voice is gone
And made mute by time
I can’t forgot that touch,
And I am longing
For you to touch me.


Adron

(C) 2009 Adron Dozat